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7/26/2011 c1 52Rayless Night
One thing I really enjoy about this fic is that is shows what a monster Id is, and at the same time it shows what a human he is. Id is selfish, unreasonable and destructive, but the things he suffers from - isolation, betrayal, an injured sense of self - are all very human. He's like an infected sore - all that nasty stuff exists because there's a wound in the first place.

Lots of times, when fanficcers try to make a villain sympathetic, they just make him/her uncharacteristically sappy, passive, whiny and victimized. I don't see that here - you aren't hiding that Id's a rotten piece of work, nor that he's strong enough to destroy a lot of people. But all the same, I really do feel sorry for him after reading this. Id may be Fei's Enemy Within, but in his own self-serving way, Fei torments Id.

The other thing that stands out is his reaction to Elly, how he has this incomplete, corrupted need to get to her. For him, the closest thing to loving her is killing her. That's both disgusting and sad. It's a great insight into him, and I wish the game itself had explored it.

Crit (I realize this is an older fic, but I hope you don't mind):

As a formatting thing, I think it would read more smoothly if you placed spaces around your hyphens.

And in general, you fall back on a lot of standard language that, while appropriate, isn't very vivid: "sweet joy"; "unleashing power"; "if she couldn't be his...wouldn't be his either" are some examples. They're just places where I felt like the language could have more impact.
7/26/2009 c1 66Krylancelo
I like your take on Id.

Very good!
3/8/2009 c1 8Kent Vonce
This is a very good way of getting inside Id's head. :P
8/20/2008 c1 Lady Rini
Great story, I liked how you really got into ID's Point of veiw and try figure out why he hates Elly so much.
6/5/2008 c1 1ririca
That was interesting though it was rather short. I expected the writing to go on until Fei finally surfaces and Id sink into the subconsciousness once more. That would have been neat.

I like your narration. it's interesting. Nevertheless, I disagree with how you portrayed Id's feelings towards Elly. I think Fei and Id are different entities with respect to how they both feel for Elly. But that's my opinion. To each his own.
3/8/2008 c1 7Astragunner2002
Endless cycle, the Contact and Antitype.

The coward, the Id, and the third are as one.

Id from the trio is the one who considered "evil", but you have concealed the depth of another side of him, that's great.

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