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5/31/2018 c21 19septimusjennashipping
Lovely chapter as always :) I'm glad to have come this far again and I enjoyed this chapter a lot as well. Short and sweet, this chapter was. Or should I say a little bittersweet. I'm glad you finished your story and I'm happy to have finished reading and reviewing it :) Farewell to this story and farewell to Pamela I suppose. I look forward to more of your work!
5/31/2018 c20 septimusjennashipping
I've finally come around to finishing your story! I am so sorry it took forever, I was so busy with school!
After 2 years, I've finally come to the conclusion of your beautifully written story. I think this chapter was a good ending, and you definitely left it on a good note. Pamela is a really well written character overall and the last line really shows that you really know this character well. This chapter was definitely a bit shorter and seemed more about tying off loose ends and saying farewell to this story. It's sad to see how Pamela abandoned Beetle and really shows where the animosity between the two stems from. I'm glad you established that. Pamela's deception at the end and her demand for power was also very in character of her. I think you did a good job with the writing overall, apart from some grammar mistakes here and there. Good job overall! I'm glad to have read your story and I hope to read more of it in the future. Continue writing and don't give up. I'll read your last last chapter and critique that too. Awesome job nonetheless :)
3/6/2018 c19 septimusjennashipping
This chapter was pretty interesting as well. I could tell the story had gotten pretty long for you and you tried to wrap certain things up. In any case, I think you could've spent more time describing Beetle growing up I think? So that way the audience could feel more attached to Pamela's new position as a mother and also understanding Beetle more. Also there was a big time gap, which I think you could've added a heading for. I do like that Pamela seems more merciful toward Artemis and Ethen as well. James also seems like a loyal friend despite his feelings for Pamela. Interesting chapter overall and it seems we're caught up to the beginning of the Septimus Heap series. Awesome!
3/6/2018 c18 septimusjennashipping
This was a really great and emotionally poignant chapter! I really loved the ending and how you brought Brian's story arc to a close. It was a really long read but I honestly think it was worth it. It. was really satisfying and I honestly felt like I was watching a slow death scene from a movie. I think you did a great job with describing the scene, which is really important in writing. You fleshed out the characters well and it paid off. I liked that the Heaps also got a cameo, which was cool to see. And the whole plot with Pamela giving birth was also very suspenseful. I think you did a great job overall with the character dynamics and relationships. Great chapter overall.
1/12/2018 c17 septimusjennashipping
This was a really great chapter with a lot of things going on! I felt that some events were rushed a little such as the Fearless men taking out every single guard in the Castle. That was a bit of a stretch in my opinion, but not necessarily a huge problem. I was also a little caught off guard by Brian's mood changes, from trying to prevent Pamela from killing Mathilda, to then supporting her over it.
What I like best is Cerys and Pamela's relationship crumbling. I think you handled that pretty well and you can tell that all the happiness from their friendship is now seemingly gone. And this is important as we need to see some kind of loss in all this conflict. Seeing Artemis getting owned was also very nice to see. I'm also very impressed about Pamela's determination, she is a very well-written character and a very strong character, whose beliefs in her own passions are very strong-willed. Can't wait for the last few chapters!
12/30/2017 c16 septimusjennashipping
Finally back! It was so nice to see these characters again, after such a long time. I enjoyed this chapter as well, as usual. I liked the focus on Pamela and Brian's relationship and we see interesting conversations between her and Tertius and the Queen. I don't think I've pointed this out before but I've sort of realized that you kind of move the scenes a little fast. I felt that these conversation with the Queen and Tertius should have been a little longer and more fleshed out. It's a bit anticlimatic, in my opinion. Pamela gets hit by a thunderflash and theres not much of an impact off of it. I just think there should've been more or a better way to close out that scene.
Also the assassination of the Wizard was unexpected and really highlights the road that Pamela is taking. I like that Pamela is becoming more and more evil now; it's good. I'm also liking how Brian is trying to keep her good.
1/22/2017 c15 septimusjennashipping
I really loved this chapter! It was so intense as well and very compelling. I love how you tie in moments from the canon series such like with DomDaniel's death here. The scene with Martin is really drawn out and well done, and really painful to in a way. I really do feel bad for the guy but also for Pamela. I think you did a good job writing that scene.
I loved the scene with Pam and Brian on the beach. Making him mute was a good decision, it really adds a strain to their relationship that just makes their romance much more grounded. And when he does get his voice back, it is even more awesome because it's really unexpected!
The conflict with Artemis is also really well done and reached a really high climax here. So far so good! I'm looking forward to see how this ends :)
1/18/2017 c14 septimusjennashipping
I think this was a pretty good follow up to the last chapter. This was a little less action-packed and less intense and it gives the audience a chance to catch their breath. I enjoyed reading this chapter and it was sort of relaxing in a way actually. Oh I think it's because of the scene in Brian's house where they're all able to talk about how the plan succeeded. The sense of defeat Artemis feels is obvious and satisfying. And the surprise reveal that she's secretly married and even having a baby was well done. I am still bafffled that Pamela has this much power and influence over the Queen. It does seems a little implausible but I think it works in this world since the authority in it isn't all that great anyway.
1/16/2017 c13 septimusjennashipping
Nice chapter! This was a really good chapter in my opinion and I enjoyed reading it. I loved how Pamela was working on her own and how her plan worked out in the end. I didn't understand what she was doing until the end and I think you did a good job with that. I liked how James was genuinely scared and how close he was to death. I liked how he was mainly bait haha. Artemis was really interesting in this chapter too. She was a really good minor villain in my opinion.
I liked how short this chapter was too, I think you should have more like this. It's short and gets to the point.
I liked how you ended the chapter too, it was a good one :)
I think the Queen should've had more say and authority however. But that's about it, not much more to complain about.
1/13/2017 c12 septimusjennashipping
I was really iffy at first when you said in the beginning that 10 years had passed. Usually in big time gaps like that, we can miss a lot of character development and what happened in that time period. I think you did a pretty good in filling that gap for a fanfiction. I wouldn't recommend having such a big time gap, though. Cerys seems really trusting of Pamela and willing to give up her power so easily. Is that something someone would usually do? It just seems really dangerous. There doesn't seem to been have much change also after 10 years, at least in terms of maturity. Nice job introducing Milo! And I do like what you did with Brian though, it's very tragic.
I think you still have a good pacing though with your story and it shows in this chapter. I think you really do keep the reader engaged and the story is interesting and compelling. I do like your story, although there is a lot that goes on.
1/12/2017 c11 septimusjennashipping
This was a thrilling chapter! I think the first part was a little anticlimactic; I was sort of expecting a large fight to ensue. I hope we find out why the witches attacked in the first place at all. Were they from Tertius Fume and going after the Queen?
Anyhow, the rest of the chapter was good. I'm liking the development between Pamela and Brian's relationship. Brian is a really nice person and you do a good job evoking that. I do think there should be some consequence for DomDaniel's abusive nature. It seems to be too realistic to not have any consequences or anything like that. I like the tension between Peter and Pam too. Does Peter know yet who she is?
I like that Pam chose to reveal who she is to the Queen as well; it's an interesting move on her part. I feel like she still has so much to lose though, I wonder why is she doing this? And does she not care about the well being of the Castle? She has a lot of friends there doesn't she? It's still interesting though. I'm waiting for that point when Pam will finally become evil.
1/12/2017 c10 septimusjennashipping
Here's my review as promised!
I think this chapter was great just as always. I think the highlight here was the tension between Peter and Pamela, although I was sort of happening for some sort of confrontation between them but I guess it's too early for that right now. You do a good job with making me a really unlikeable guy, like in a good way. Sort of Dolores Umbridge haha.
I also like the subtle hints that Brian likes Pam and Pam may also like him too. And the opening was amusing so nice job for that :)
I think the invitation to the dinner is kind of sudden however. It's seems to be kind out of the blue. I would add a bit more dialogue between Pam and the Queen's father so there's more of a conversation present than rather a sudden appearance.
Also, great ending! It's really epic and I love her resoluteness.
11/9/2016 c21 1Lady Lysithia
It's over omigosh omigosh omigosh omigosh omigosh
Before reading this I read chapter 15 of Mystery in Past and I have to say: your writing improved a LOT! :D
I loved this, I loved this so much. It's just, such a fitting end to the this story, to Pamela's story. We saw everything she went through, all of what she sacrificed for her dreams, and now she just lets it all go for Beetle. It's so emotional. I love this chapter and story sooo much and that last paragraph is beautiful because in the end she knows who she is.
I don't like finishing stories/books because I just feel so sad that I'll never be able to experience the same feelings again. And I felt the same here. This story was so intense and I hope you do professional writing! This is your shortest chapter and I like that it's so short. It makes it far more touching.
Thank you so much for this story! It was amazing. Thank you thank you!
Now that you're done here, will you consider updating Jenna's Queste?
-Lady Lysithia
10/15/2016 c20 Lady Lysithia
Hi it's me lady Lysithia. Please accept my one hundred apologies for not reviewing earlier. School has been crazy.
This chapter went from super interesting to super intense. What I was really intrigued by in mystery in past was Beetle and Pamela's relationship and I'm glad that you had the first half about that. Reading it made me remember the first story which made me sad. Great job on that.
I was really scared in the second half. I was almost sure it would be gunpowder. You have a talent for writing suspense and sympathetic characters. So all in all i loved this whole chapter. And that last line? brilliant!
9/28/2016 c19 Lady Lysithia
Woah what a loaded chapter. The beginning was great (in a sad way) with the way you mirrored the books, and Sarah's cameo was nice. The time skip was really intriguing this time. I really loved how you wrote this last part. I loved the part with Beetle. Honestly, this was really really good. I can't what till you update!
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