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8/14/2020 c10 19DesiCat
Wow, I love reading Lloyd's thoughts and putting the puzzle pieces together. You wrote something amazing and I could not stop reading!
6/10/2017 c10 63general zargon
A great story, nicely dramatic and introspective. :) I wish you the very best of luck on your writing!
4/16/2017 c10 Friendly Badger
Thankyou so much for taking the time to write this. I think it is fantastic that it can still bring the occasional person such joy years after publication. Genius and very enjoyable.

BK
4/1/2017 c10 19Dichotomous-Dragon
I AM SO HAPPY I THINK I MIGHT PUKE
SERIOUSLY
HOLY
FREAKING
CRAP
THAT WAS SO PERFECT! OMG!

OK. Ok. Get off the caps lock, Dee, and pretend you're not a crazy person. *deep breath* Ok. I can do this.

I freaking headcanon'ed so hard that Albert got beaten in Helena. I mean, he had to have right? Right. And the way you captured it made my guts twist. I LOVE that Lloyd, despite what he does in the end, is displeased at the conduct of the guards. I love even more that Albert takes what is no doubt a legendary beat down and is STILL trying to - and nearly succeeding to -escape when Lloyd finds him. And even though I knew better, for a split second, I almost thought he'd let him go. But of course he didn't.

The realization that both Albert and Doel knew, and neither told Lloyd, not really? Freaking awesome. That Albert never actually succumbed to talking, not after manpulatation and poisoning and even the torture, that's badass and so damn in-character that it makes my chest ache.

Even when Lloyd comes back, and Albert knows he knows...he doesn't say anything.

There are two things I truly want to know: First, for all his brilliance, Albert knew in those moments that his kindness damned him. Knew it, and didn't do anything but try to flinch away because losing the gem meant losing the war for his people. But after Lloyd took it, was he awake long enough to know he had inadvertently damned his best friend with his error, too? UGH!

And Second: Lloyd is obviously overjoyed, in his way, about getting his artifact. I wonder what he thought of being looked at like he himself looked at the Sandorans, especially since he himself knows Albert had shown him nothing but kindness...

All in all, THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH WORDS! If you ever write more of this verse as a one-shot or snippets or hell, ANYTHING, I will make sure I'm subscribed so I don't miss it. If you ever want to chat, hit me up. Seriously, this work has been an absolute pleasure! And if you ever want to write what Albert discovers when he wakes up after all this, I'd be happy for more pain at your hand. As it stands, I am drowning in bittersweet happiness over what an absolute joy this fic was to read. I will be rereading it for a long time to come. My heart's in my throat and it just sucks so hard to see a lovely thing end...

As a closing thought, I would absolutely recommend cross-posting this fic to Archive of Our Own. Takes a week or so to get signed up, but I feel like as many people should get to see this delightful fic as is possible.

Maker, thank you for coming back and finishing this. I want to cry and scream and just...I have all the feelings. This was so, so good. Thank you so much!
4/1/2017 c9 Dichotomous-Dragon
OMG you should be glad I did wait, I would have been annoying as all hell waiting to get chapter ten, with an ending like that! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME OVER HERE?!

Oh, goodness, this chapter. I love Lloyd's observations of all the other characters, of his musings on Dart and the no-doubt uncomfortable happiness that Lavitz surviving meant so much to Albert...

Ugh, I am going to be so, so sad to see this fic end, but at the same time, I have to thank you a thousand times for coming back to finish it. I freaking love these characters so much, and you really have such a cool way of writing that lets me have a pass with them that I'm never going to get anywhere else, again. I really owe you for that.

With a heavy heart and no small amount of excitement, I head to chapter 10...
4/1/2017 c8 Dichotomous-Dragon
OH! I forgot to mention that I loved Lloyd's reflection on his cruelty to Albert. It was unexpected and just really, really awesome. The opening paragraph to this chapter is likewise fantastic.

OMG btw, long chapters are ALWAYS BETTER, that means there is more of a great fic to read...and there is never enough of a great fic to read. I can't believe there are only 2 chaps left...ACK!
4/1/2017 c7 Dichotomous-Dragon
ARGGGGG this chapter just makes my stupid heart hurt so bad. Ugh. So well done!

One small useful comment, in this line I think you want "strangled" instead: His respiration became struggled.

I love the revelation that even despite everything, Doel would be pissed to learn Albert had been slain. That, and despite it all, Albert continues to be a problem for Lloyd because of that sharp mind of his. UGH I just really like this chapter a lot.

ALSO holy cats I just realized you marked the story complete and NOW I HAVE TREPIDATION because arggggggg when good things end, it's just the worst...but I want to know what happens...BUT I DON'T WANT IT TO BE OVER TT
4/1/2017 c6 Dichotomous-Dragon
"It sometimes seems I was birthed for turmoil, and raised in betrayal." He shook his head and turned his hazel gaze back to me. "My family has already taught me much about trust." His voice was as hard as his knights' shields. -this is so sad and so well said

The rest of the chapter is a study in eloquent brutality, but is no less good. That whole scene is a kick in the chops! As it should be.
4/1/2017 c5 Dichotomous-Dragon
Like any human, it could be held by chains, stymied by metal bars, and encouraged by steel tools. Hellena Prison had all of those in abundance as well as people eager to use them. -SUCH a great line pairing. Humans are terrible and this is a beautifully poetic way to say so. True in life and fiction, well done!

Holy hell I love the entire paragraph on Albert after his ride, and on the state of his dress and the stables. Every little detail is beautiful and humanizing and just SO GOOD. You have some many of these beautiful little trademarks to your writing, and they come out more in each chapter. It's one of the main reasons I knew I HAD to reread, to give you examples of these things you're doing so well. I'm so glad I waited, too, because this is a major upside to a bad few weeks at work.

I frigging adore that Albert is sharp enough to have caught the raven, but not that Lloyd is still lying. Siiiiiigh, oh Albert, you beautiful idiot. And well done, you, for capturing him so perfectly!
4/1/2017 c4 Dichotomous-Dragon
And THIS is why I reread. One often misses soooo many nuances when one is sprinting to find out what happens next. in short: I read too damn fast, lol.

Several things in this chapter that I really, really like. (you seem like you really start to hit your stride and your voice in this chapter, too. I like all of them, but this chapter is noticeably stronger than the first three, and I mean that nothing but positively! Everything sort of wraps around the reader in this chapter and carries us on)

I didn't want him to detect any more of my mistrust so I pocketed the container nonchalantly though, at that time (...) The poison looked more appetizing than either option. I love this entire paragraph, it speaks to why I should hate to be a spy. Everything is always so twisty!

I love Noish's note of fondness, and the care with which you pointed out the features of the library and the family portraits.

Poor Lavitz would be stricken to know what he's set in motion...
4/1/2017 c3 Dichotomous-Dragon
I do love that you beleaguered the fact that Lloyd isn't untouchable, that his fantastic powers wear on him. Who doesn't know how much a migraine sucks? He's so twisty, but almost good-naturedly annoyed by how easily he is able to turn Albert's kindness to his advantage.

If there is any confusion about Serdian customs or history or values, you will find no better source than the Minister. I always tell him that this is due to the fact that he has lived through it all." -I love this line. It sounds SO very Albert. (Missing the beginning " on there, btw :)) Seriosuly though, he's being funny, but he sounds like such a high-born nerd. Despite that, he just cares so darn much. You lay that out really nicely, in so concise a scene, especially!
4/1/2017 c2 Dichotomous-Dragon
I am back! Sorry for the delay. I have worked about a month solid without a day off and job hunting on top of it is slow, slow work.

Nice edits! I can tell you smoothed a little (though there is one spot the html tag didn't take) and I still like how you balance nicely between Lloyd being in the moment but also in his own head. I like it a lot.

Some fave lines: There were no more stories here -this is so cryptic (from chap 1 but it only lets me review each chap once...)

And damnit Albert I love you but you are SO GULLIBLE .
2/16/2017 c8 Guest
Oh my word, this is awesome. I just spent the last hour or so reading this. And I cannot wait until you write more. Lloyd is my favourite character in the game. This has been well thought out , and I love that you show that Lloyd is not entirely without remorse . I also don't think you should apologize for its length, as it is well written and interesting. I write myself and understand that lots of words are sometimes needed. If your muse says this thing is going to be 20 chapters, so be it. Keep writing this, please! :)
2/12/2017 c1 Dichotomous-Dragon
HOLY
FREAKING
CRAP

This fic is so GOOD!
I will leave you a review on every chap ASAP, I had to sprint-read through this first time because holy crap I just HAD to know what happened. This is such a fascinating concept! I love that you humanize Lloyd as a character, the double-crossing and espionage is fantastic, and damn damn damn, that trusting nature plays very true to Albert's character.

Damn, I SO badly want more of this. It's fricken great, and you're never going to hear that enough because the game was underrated even in its time.

Thank you for sharing! You'll be hearing more from me ;)
1/25/2017 c7 Guest
So excited to get another chapter of this! I love the intrigue, seeing how Lloyd is handling his part in this story. :}
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