9/17/2017 c3 Guest
Please please please keep updating the story please
Please please please keep updating the story please
7/16/2014 c1 20La Vik
I feel like this may have moved a little fast... I'm not sure as a reader, I feel like there's any connection to Jenna. Within a page, we meet her and she's already moved in with Mort without us having a chance to see any development of her character, or see what's different about Mort in this alternate universe. You have all the tools for a good story, just slow down and build your characters. Is this a one-shot?
I feel like this may have moved a little fast... I'm not sure as a reader, I feel like there's any connection to Jenna. Within a page, we meet her and she's already moved in with Mort without us having a chance to see any development of her character, or see what's different about Mort in this alternate universe. You have all the tools for a good story, just slow down and build your characters. Is this a one-shot?