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1/5/2020 c7 Minnimuffy
Aaand I did it again. Sorry about that. I really should start writing on my computer to avoid those accidental unfinished review posts. Ugh.

Anyway, I wanted to say liked how you used the "One wrong step" line continuously throughout the chapter, that really made it hit home for me how fricking awful crossing the gaps between the rocks actually is for Felix.
The contrast between the ocean as a loud and moving entity compared to the still and silent stones stood out to me as well. Great writing there, not only do you show the differences between the elements that way, I also get an idea of how adeps find safety in their respective elements. That is so endearing to me and one of my favourite head canons, as well! So glad you included it!
One more thing: what really hurt me was the "no one else thought it was a problem" line. Because that is just so so sad. It's perfectly okay to be afraid of things and it's more than understandable in Felix' case, yet he still feels like it is a problem. I really hope someone gets it in his head that he doesn't have to be perfect and that it's perfectly natural and fine to be afraid of the thing that nearly killed you three times already, because the way he's going he isn't going to live a very happy life and I just want Felix to be happy god dammit. He deserves it! (And he's so so brave anyway. He's a great guy, you just gotta love him.)

Yay, a bit of comedic relief in the desert! I liked the way you included Sheba's knowledge of deserts, it makes sense that she would know what to do, I'm kind of sad they didn't expand on that in the games, then again, Golden Sun isn't that big on roleplay and inter party relationships anyway, so it's even better to read about it here! :D
The scene with Kraden handing Felix his sash made me chuckle. I can imagine that so well and aaaaahhh it's perfect. How do you manage to make them seem like one big family already? They tease and needle and take care of each other and they are so adorable. Omg. I can't say it enough, I love those dorks. And don't get me starting on the little sibling bonding Jenna and Felix had going. That was so perfect! My dreams are coming true and you're the one making it possible because of your awesome fanfiction. You're a real life safer, please never doubt that! (You get bonus points for Felix being a protective older brother. I have a bleeding heart for protective siblings, I guess that's why you give me so many feels with Jenna's and Felix' interactions )

Now, that fight scene with the Scorpion King was impeccably written. I don't have much to say here, except for kudos to you for pulling action of so well! On a little side note, I think it's really interesting that you glossed over the Briggs fight compared to the scorpion fight, especially if I compare the difficulty of the respective fights ingame. It makes a lot of sense from a narrative perspective tho, giant animals fighting to the death seem somehow more threatening than a bunch of non-adept pirates. :')
The healing scene with Sheba was of special interest to me, because I love hearing more about the workings of Psynergy, and you gave me quite a bit of insight on that topic. Both with how Cure works and with Felix not being that practised in using healing Psynergy. I hope there will be more of that in the future! And Sheba's ability to passively read emotions truly astounds me. I look forward to seeing how you will expand on that, as she will probably be the first to pick up on any conflicts or affections (I am capable of reading tags, after all) ;) uhhhh that's a lot of fun in the making, I can't wait :D (well, I can and I will, but you know what I mean )

Finally, I can't help but feel like Felix jinxed it a bit in the end. I mean, I know what's coming, but really, "Finally, things were going right" just screams famous last words to me :p That's an ironic way of ending a chapter if I've ever seen one. I love it :D

That being said, I hope you're allright and that life goes well for you, like always I send you much love and I'll catch you in the next review!
1/5/2020 c7 Minnimuffy
Happy new year to you! I hope you had a nice first week in 2020 (that feels so weird to write) and that it will be a wonderful year for you! Stay in good health and be happy :D

Now, for the review: wow, what a chapter! As always, your descriptions of Felix' emotions left me speechless. You made his aquaphobia so obvious to me as a reader without explicitely mentioning it, that's exactly how fear should be portrayed. From the hesitance to approach the edge to the singleminded focus on the water, from spacing out and not responding to actually being unable to speak and of course that strange fascination during nighttime, that is just precisely how fear works and I cannot thank you enough for such an accurate description. (
12/29/2019 c6 Minnimuffy
Hey, guess who's back! I hope you had some very nice holidays and lots of great times with your loved ones. I'm sorry I've been so scarce in december, but the good news is, with the Christmas madness finally over, I should be able to get back to my one review per weekend schedule :D so without further ado, let's get into it!

Do you know what especially stood out to me this chapter? How incredibly detailed you write without overloading on information. I loved the little snippets of descriptions you included, especially the crisp morning air and slowly warming wall behind Felix. They seem so essential to me, because I think they are things that Felix would take notice of. I mean, you even wrote that he needed some quiet time to think and it fits. So. Well. It gives your story life and I love that you include these things. I think it's very in spirit of the game, too, because Felix does give us descriptions of his surroundings (those literal flavour texts!) and therefore really helps in fleshing out his character while keeping perfectly in character. You do this so well, please continue doing so in the future, I can't describe how happy you make me with your attention to detail!

Another thing I really liked is how you change your language depending on whose perspective you're writing from. Like, with Felix you've got those extra description, but not only that. I feel like you tend to use shorter sentence structures with him, because he's so down to earth (ha!) and can't afford time to think in flowerly language. It wouldn't fit him either anyway :p and you manage to display his insecurities as well, all those questions whether he's doing the right thing with those big responsibilities on his shoulders. I feel like you even portrait his humour through use of words alone (the mysterious, ice-wielding, possibly piratical, probably antagonistic prisoner made me laugh at least).
While with Piers, I can almost feel his impatience to get out of that cell just from how your sentence structure is. Also, it might just be me overanalyzing things, but the language feels way more archaic to me, because you use a bit of a higher register concerning your choice of words. Which, of course, is rather fitting as well. And the snark. Oh the snark. I can hear him mentally snarking, I can hear him snark out loud and immediatly feel bad about it and just... The snark in general. It's perfect. Your writing is perfect. I'd confess my undying love towards your writing if it wouldn't be awkward :')

As you've noticed, that was more meta than I usually get in my reviews, that's mainly because the last chapter had such a big impact on me, this one felt more like a bit of a break content wise. Which is actually really important, because I most certainly needed a bit of an emotional break after last chapter's action. That is not to say that this chapter was without content, because it definitely wasn't.

I liked that you had Felix and Kraden discuss things in the beginning and I absolutely loved how you described the negative impacts of being imprisoned. That's exactly what I was talking about in my last review and I am so unspeakably glad that you included those angsty moments. Loved the line where you said that it felt like the walls were closing in on Piers. That's the kind of stuff I need to read and you never fail to deliver. Thank you so much!

As always, character interaction was a personal highlight for me, I actually can't decide which I liked better: the girls voting for jailbreak and Felix having to explain to them why that probably wouldn't be a great idea or Felix introspection after talking to Piers. The former made me incredibly happy while the latter hit me right in the feels, in the good way. I honestly don't know what else to say, I feel like I'll just repeat myself but your characterisations are so on point, I look forward to the character interactions the most whenever I read a chapter of your story. I feel like you manage to deliver so perfectly what the game missed out on and I am so so glad this exists because it gives me all the feelings. I simply love the characters and you give them the depth they deserve and I wish they had in the game and I love you for that.

Anyway, the last paragraph :') I like how you finish your chapters, that one makes me look forward to the next one, because Yampi Desert! And Briggs! Yay! I can't wait :D Felix making plans is something I need to see more of by the way. If you ever find a chance to include more of that in the future, please do! Let my precious potato be the sensible guy that he is! But I guess you know that yourself already, after all, your characterisations have yet to disappoint me and I sincerly doubt they ever will.

That being said, I wish you the very best for 2020, I mean, that's a brand new decade! Bloody hell we're getting old. Have an awesome New Years Party or chill at home like I probably will, I send you all the love and I'll see you in the next review!
12/1/2019 c12 Nezogoku
This is, quite possibly, one of the few Golden Sun fanfictions that tells the story in such a way that is both compelling and believable. I am ecstatic that it is still being written; I was starting to fear the worst.
12/1/2019 c5 Minnimuffy
Hey there, I'm back with another review! ;) And I really would like to take the opportunity to thank you for your work, again. I'm having a bit of trouble at home at the moment and your story never fails to cheer me up. Or let me forget my own troubles because I'm feeling with the characters, which is just as good. And I mustn't forget the rabid fangirling, of course :D

I liked the flashback, especially your descriptions of Saturos and Menardi. I reckon if you've only seen "normal" people those two would look really frightening. I'm glad you kept them as equals discussing options and not just have one decide how to proceed. It's something I really liked in Golden Sun in general, the "villains" are actual partners and not just one following the other, and you captured that perfectly, from the way they act to what effect they have on Felix. And Menardi threatening to make him an orphan? Ouch. That's harsh, Men. But I guess she wasn't in the best mood, so it does seem in character to me.
I also adored the little interaction between Felix and his Mom in the end, it seems logical to me that he would listen to his parents advise in such an out of the norm situation, even if it's against his feelings and impulses (while I would've loved to see him give some contra to Menardi, I'm glad he didn't. That seemed like it would lead to... unpleasant consequences).

Also what. The. Fuck. Sheba can actually mindread in her sleep?! That sounds really problematic. Not only for Felix the walking psychological disaster, but also for Sheba. I imagine her picking up different thoughts as a kid and mentioning them in conversations, not realising where they must've come from. That must've alienated her from pretty much everyone at home. No wonder she's so childish sometimes, this is probably the first time she actually has another Adept who understands and doesn't fear her to be childish with. Go Jenna, just adopt her as your little sister already and make me happy :D

I won't write much on the first prison scene with Piers, because I'll probably fangirl my way though the second one for ages, but really. You do such an amazing job describing his anxiety (can you called it anxiety when you suffer from being in prison?). I've read this awesome analysis on how being imprisoned affects people's minds and let me tell you, it's no fun at all. He'll probably carry that around with him for a while. (And I just realised how well you named the story. The about of emotional baggage the characters carry around is insane. Just help them! Aaaaahhh!)

As for Dekhan Plateau, the pirate conversation was hilarious. I really had to laugh while reading and I love your Jenna so so much. Deathbeard doesn't ravish little children, indeed x) And Felix feels so much like the long suffering big brother just trying to get his shit done, the poor potato. I wish Jenna would knock some sense into him so he isn't so serious all the time. Because while I understand that he's on a mission, he shouldn't forget to actually live. Otherwise it'll be really hard for him once he finished lighting the lighthouses. And I know, Felix not having time to live is kinda the theme of your story, I mean, you even feature it in your summary, but please! I just want to see him happy q.q

I love how they found Cannon by accident, talk about lucky, ha! And imagining the party prodding their way through with Kraden's stick is just a bonus. That picture is just way too funny :D
Huh, I don't think I've ever given it much thought how weird that scene in front of Madra must've been. I mean, I guess it's quite the shock if the city guards just walk up to you, check your looks and decide if you're allowed to enter only based on whether you meet their requirements. That's racist, my dear Madrans. :c (I get that they just want to protect their town, but still. That kind of prejudice hurts and is totally inadequat. Boo.)
Haha, Felix actually thought it was Alex at first xD do you know how much you made me laugh with that? This is so hilarious, not gonna lie :D understandable, tho. I mean, how many people with blue hair have they met? Pretty sure you can count them on one hand. I can't imagine it being nice to be so recognisable (which you described quite properly Earlier). And again, Jenna is my personal hero and she probably always will be. "I was expecting at least an eye patch." is comedic gold, right there. I need a Jenna in my life.

OH MY GOD THE PRISON SCENE. I'm fangirling so hard right now. I'm not sure if I can provide adequate feedback which is a bit more eloquent then "eeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhh", but that was basicly my reaction. I think I'll have to keep this disproportionally brief, but this is hands down my favourite scene up til now. Piers is so so so relatable and it's amazing how your writing builds up so well with his anger, ahhhh it's so perfect. Shin is a jerk and got what's coming for him, I'm super glad you changed the "I'm no monster" line and everyone being flubbergasted is so. Perfect. (And as always, I love your Jenna. "Sheba, do the thing", I'm dying xD)
That was some real quality writing you did there, especially because the prison scene is such a vital one and you absolutely nailed it. It's just. Incredible. Hurray you! 3

And back in the feels with that PTSD dream at the end. Ow. You love the emotional rollercoaster, don't you. Really well written tho! My feelings! Ahhhh!

Ans because I'm a total wreck right now thanks to you (mind you, I mean that in the bestest way possible C;) I'll just give you my thanks and love, see you in the next review! 3
11/23/2019 c4 Minnimuffy
Ahhhh the angst, the angst is killing me! Don't do this to my poor heart! But let me start chronologically.

The scene with Echo was so perfect! It's actually one of my favourite cut scenes from the game and while I am kind of sad that you didn't include the "I won't eat your chips or anything", I unterstand why you didn't. It wouldn't really have fit in, would it? But still, I think you managed to preserve Echo's character with the simple line of "The wait is boring." I love the little guy :D I would love it if you could fit in some more djinn interactions, because I somehow can't imagine them being quiet bystanders. If you ever see a chance to include some djinni dialogue, please do so!
Also, Felix' passive angsting is killing me. How can he talk so casually about his own death, Jesus Christ. Someone get this boy a therapist. It doesn't really help that appearantly he hasn't felt any joy in a really long time. You really like to make me suffer along with him don't you? Wahh I'm not crying, you're crying! q.q Seriously, sometimes the only thing that cheers me up is knowing that there's be a happy end. I hope. :')

Heh, yes, I guess the Kaldorean Temple was quite the disappointment, when you look at it like that. I loved the the descriptions about the reactions to the pebble! They made me smile, and again, you have a way of writing the characters that makes me feel like they are friends whom I've known for years. That's incredible! I'm also really happy that you included the mysterious card. While I've never actually played the item dependant classes I do enjoy seeing them in action and I'm looking forward to seeing if Jenna will end up as the perfect Acrobat ;)
I am however curious if you plan on ever going back and collecting Fog. I actually have a lot of headcanons concerning the class system that depend on collecting djinn of every type and since it looks like you do plan on including classes to some extent at least, I would love to know if they will end up collecting all 72 of them. (Also, how will they fight dullahan if they can't even enter Anemos Sanctum? Jk jk :D I know that's not main story line, but a girl can dream)

Ahh Felix you precious potato! I can imagine that so well :D I too would've loved to kick the Sea God in the face. And you know what, you'll be going back! Oh joy! And again, I can totally relate to him. It's tough work to be the only sensible person in a party (my DnD characters would know all about that). Honestly, the scene about going to Madra to get help from a pirate was pure comedic gold for me. Loved it a lot!

Great job transitioning between the paragraphs by the way! Piers wishing he actually were a pirate was awesome. :D also, even if it means I'll be repeating myself, poor guy. You know, you've got me at a point where I'm genuinely looking forward to a time where everyone will be happy and content, because right now, there is just so. Much. Suffering. Argh. I know it'll get better, but really, you hit me right in the heart with every word you write. I'd dare you to stop but that would mean you'd have to decrease your writing skills and that would truly be counterproductive, wouldn't it? :p I can totally see Piers getting so agitated that he'll rattle those prison bars. Again, I pretty much loved everything in this paragraph, great job!

Uhh that scene with Alex was actually unexpected. I didn't see that coming. Interesting interaction tho, especially with Felix guessing that Alex does have his own agenda. And Jenna is a mood. Remember when I sad that I want Felix to punch Alex in the face in Champa? Scratch that, I want Jenna to punch him in the face. You go girl and show the jerk who's boss!

Even if it was a bit anticlimatic I'm glad you included the last paragraph. The party actually getting new weapons in a store and not just randomly finding some in chests makes this so much more realistic. I'm looking forward to seeing more of those "real life of real people" snippets. After all, not every one can be an Adept and it must be really hard to deal with all the shit that goes down in TLA as Non-Adepts. And since I love myself good world building, I can never get enough of non-party perspectives. I hope there will be more of those in the future!

To sum up, as always, amazing chapter. If you ever feel like chatting about Golden Sun or have any questions to what I'm writing or would like me to elaborate, feel free to hit me with a PM, I'll answer as soon as I'm able ;) Until then, see you in the next review 3
11/17/2019 c3 Minnimuffy
Sorry, I accidentally clicked the posting button x) writing from my phone sucks. I'll just continue here :D

Felix really is trying his hardest to get everyone through this ordeal in one piece isn't he? That is so, so admirable. Seriously, the guy is 18 and he's holding it together so well, it really makes me dread the moment he'll break down. Because the way he deals with his stress? Not healthy. Just share the burden Felix, you don't have to carry everything on your own, it's okay to accept help q.q also, I think he deserves a hug. Better yet, all the hugs. More hugs for Felix please!

Next, the fight scene with the wolf. First of all, how can you write fight scenes so well? That's amazing! It's so difficult to find a good tempo and to keep it going when writing out fightscenes and you did it so perfectly! That was just so well balanced between action and describing what Felix thinks, especially the parts where his thought process was cut in half because something else happened (the wolf pouncing, Sheba screaming, etc) made the whole scene so realistic, well done! My highlight was definitely Kraden poking the corpse with his stick tho. Look at the scientist go! I can imagine that so well! x) he's awesome. Kraden deserves more recognition from the fanbase and I'm really glad that you're giving him his own place in the party. Thank you so much for that!

Finally, Daila. I really liked Sheba's report of all the things she was able to find out. I can basicly hear her in my head actually saying what she heard, that's how well you've written her! And the part where she gets all excited about the Sea God's shrine? So in character! It's a bit shocking to see that for Sheba it is kinda one big exciting adventure, while for Felix it's almost like living a nightmare, but it's so so authentic and it just really shows the age and especially the life experience differences between the characters. How can you write so well? I feel like I'm endlessly repeating myself, but you are doing such a great job with your characterisations and the subtext between the lines, I can't help but heap my praises on top of you! Take all my positive feedback please :D

Again, there basicly is nothing I don't love in this chapter. I probably should start to take notes while reading about all the things I want to give you feedback on, because I feel like I forget at least half the things I wanted to say while typing my review, but then again, you do everything so well, maybe it isn't that bad if I stick to my highlights and occasional questions :') Much love from me, and see you in the next review ;)
11/17/2019 c3 Minnimuffy
Aw poor Piers. He really has the worst timing, hasn't he? The way you wrote that scene really put things into perspective tho. I think I never spent much time thinking about what it was actually like for him during the tidal wave and immediatly after, and now that I've read your interpretation, I feel really sorry for him. Poor guy! :c and by the way, the more I read, the more I am convinced that you are secretly in my head. I mean, how else would you manage to deliver to every single one of my head canons? It's pretty much canon that Piers has anger issues, but the holding a grudge and carrying it out part? That is precisely how I always head canon my water people. There's got to be a reason after all that the Lemurians decided to turn their backs to the outside world, and I'm pretty sure someone did something that really offended them and they were just like, do your stuff alone then, see how you'll fare without us! They are so haughty, I think it's hilarious x) Great job to portray Piers that way as well!

Is... Is this Felix being optimistic? Are my eyes deceiving me? This is so adorable! He's so precious! Ahhh! And he
11/16/2019 c2 Minnimuffy
Ah yes, the infamous "I just called my childhood friend reckless and then proceeded to jump off a lighthouse" realisation. Teenagers, am I right? :p That aside, you actually gave me anxiety with Felix' drowning PTSD. So... Good job, I guess? :') Honestly tho, you did an incredible job with the post jump scene. I felt like I was actually there and suffered along with them and now I just wanna put them all into a shoebox and feed them cookies. Gotta keep my precious babies safe! I also wanna know what the purple blue sparkling thing was that Felix saw. I hope you'll come back to that one day and clarify the issue, because right now I'm thinking Nereid swam by and couldn't let her only hopes for saving the world die, so she did some psynergy magic and saved everyone. Somehow I doubt that's what happened, but I'll believe so until I'm proven wrong :p
Loved the reunion as well; Alex, you're a massive dick. It's great how you set up the rivalry between Felix and Alex that way, and I pray to every writing muse that Felix gets to punch Alex' nose once we get to Champa. And don't get me started on Felix' reaction to seeing Jenna unharmed again! Love myself some wholesome sibling love, gimme more of that, pretty please x)
And OH MY GOD YOU INCLUDED THE CHECKING FOR INJURIES! I'm pretty sure my neighbours were able to hear my gleeful squealing because of that :p eventhough you made it a lot less cute than it was ingame. I'm glad you did so tho, because it fit so well with the overall theme and tone of your story. Also, Jenna is awesome and totally relatable. Love how she threatens to set the whole forest on fire to get her bag back in one moment and tackle hugs her brother in the next. It made me really happy to see them so relieved that everyone is (relatively) allright.
You made me laugh out loud and snort with the plethora of roaming boat owners by the way. That's exactly my kind of humour, please continue writing such awesome things :D I think it's perfect how you include such snippets of humour in situations which are overall much more angsty than funny, it lightens things up a bit without diminishing how shitty the situation is for the characters (thank God for gallows humour).
Finally, you just had to show Felix' martyr complex in the end, didn't you? That boy is gonna be the death of me, I swear. Please make him happy at the end of this fic, he deserves all the happiness dammit.
Your characterisation in general was spot on, as I remeber it being throughout the whole story. You simply have a way of writing the mc's exactly as I always imagined them, probs to you for that. ;)
Much love and many thanks, see you in the next review :D
11/16/2019 c1 Minnimuffy
This... This is so utterly perfect, I've read your fic several times by now and I finally get around to reviewing, sorry I haven't done this earlier. It'll probably take me some time to leave you a review for every chapter, but if you can dedicate your freetime to writing such a great story, I most certainly can spare time to tell you how great this is :D
So, first chapter, you do have to start with hitting me right in the feels, don't you? The Venus lighthouse scene already made me sad when I saw it ingame, but you manage to make it even more emotional. Felix my poor baby and his "I gotta save everyone" complex T.T seriously, it's amazing how in character you write. I can totally see Felix feeling and thinking just like that and the priority list in the beginning? So spot on. Also I think my heart stopped for a moment when you described Sheba's realisation that she won't be able to reach Felix' hand. This is just so sad and yet she is somehow so acceptant? Like, she knows stuff will go to shit and she doesn't think that anything can be done and makes her peace with it in that moment (little do you know, Sheebs). And that literally gave me the chills right there. I always had the feeling that Sheba somehow always swaps between being a normal 14 years old girl and being way too mature for her age and you capture that so well with just a few words, that's truly amazing.
One thing I wondered tho: Does Felix already know about weyard's worldcrumbling problem without alchemy? Because it sounds a bit like that when you describe his thought process about invading prox with seven people (how do you even come up with this stuff, I really had to chuckle when you wrote that). That chapter was quite the rollercoaster of emotions, not gonna lie.
Anyway, I'm really looking forward to rereading your story and telling you about the things I liked the most along the way, you are an amazing person for taking the time to write this and I hope you'll continue to find the inspiration to finish your story. It would be really sad if a story that captures the characters so perfectly stayed unfinished, but I unterstand that good writing takes time and that you have a life to live, so please don't feel pressured ;) Take all the time you need, I'll be waiting patiently. So thanks again for dedicating your time to making us readers happy and all the best to you! Much love and see you in the next review!
9/25/2019 c1 9REDMASTEROFPOKEMON
You started this boring shit 5 years ago? And still haven't finished? Hahahaha, what a fucking loser!

No wonder you're a fan of Golden Suck, if you are this big of a loser. Good thing my masterpiece fanfic, A Black Sun Dawns is here to save this site from garbage like this, and show the world what a well-written GS story looks like.
8/13/2019 c12 Guest
Fell down the Golden Sun rabbit hole and discovered this fic a few months ago...I am so glad to see it’s still being updated! How exciting!

I love your group dynamics between all of the characters. Jenna and Sheba being besties is exactly how I imagine it, and I appreciate that you write Kraden as an actual contributing member to the group. Poor Felix keeping all of his anxiety and stress to himself. I can’t imagine he can keep it up much longer.

Anyway, LOVED this update and so excited to see that this fic is continuing. Keep up the great work!
8/11/2019 c12 TwilightSymphonycat
Good to see your not dead. After two years, I was really starting to worry.
8/11/2019 c12 1grandshadowseal
I'm so glad you've updated I've missed this so much!

Someone please teach Piers non Lemurian human age's before he accidentally insults someone... I don't think Jenna would like to know that he thinks she's about 50!
9/4/2018 c1 cN6IW
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