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for You Never Cease To Amaze Me

3/21 c1 Guest
I'd like some more, please.
2/28 c1 10FroofyB
Please say that there will be more...perhaps a series? I know I'm not the only one who needs a season 2. You've made a great start and have wet the apatite. Looking forward to much, much more...PLEASE?
2/28 c1 RK1517MI
Not a bad start. You will want to work on a couple of things regarding the grammatical structure of your writing as you move forward.

1. Verb tense - you frequently move between present tense and past. Be consistent. This is difficult to do when writing from a first person perspective.
2. Subject verb agreement. The actor and the action must be in agreement with one another.
3. Punctuation. This is a glaring error throughout the story, particularly in the sections containing dialog. Be sure to capitalize and punctuate correct. As an example, there's a big difference between, "Let's eat Grandma." and "Let's eat, Grandma." In the first sentence, Grandma is on the menu. ;)

You might want to consider getting a beta reader to help with these things. Good luck.
2/28 c1 15KathDMD
Beautiful. I like this very much. Please continue.

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