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for FusionFall: Unity

6/28 c11 107AnimeGirl 144
I like the A-Plot of the chapter was about rescuing the Gems while the B-Plot was Nova and Paradox meeting (and if he didn't immediately remind me of Merlin from Sword in the Stone). The epilogue of the Consortium coming down on White Knight also opens up another avenue for the story to go; it's bad enough a war with Fuse is going on, now the Consortium wants a war with Providence.

We continue to see Team UNITE operating as a unit without Nova, and this will be such an interesting topic to explore when she returns to the group. Will they be able to flow together without missing a beat? Will there be a struggle they have to overcome? It'll be interesting. Also a question I have is if a Gem - maybe Talmessite? - will join as a representative on the team.

Time-travel is always a subject I don't put too much understanding into. Set-in-stone or alternative timelines are usually ones I deal with if I ever have to. Seeing Nova explore her powers and how they'll benefit/help her out will be fun to read. Especially now that she's confirmed immortal status.
6/2 c10 AnimeGirl 144
WE'RE BACK, FUSIONFIGHTERS!

May is definitely the worst month for a writer. But with all that stress out of the way, it's good to see your creative juices flowing.

I love that Nova gets some training in on this chapter (although you were WAY nicer to your OC than I was, but I'm a mean person). I liked seeing Gwen as the mentor for the OC, especially since Nova's powers are especially unique. Not many CN characters have experience with time-travelling as a power (most time-travelers in the CN use science and on a side note, have you ever noticed how many CN shows have time-travelling?), and really she was the closest without actually pulling in Paradox.

I like you're showing the team off doing their own things! I know I mentioned it in a prior review, but the fact you're giving them autonomy and letting us see it is wonderful. Plus, we get more interactions with everyone, so that we can see into their minds and emotions.

Nova's abilities and how she discovers them was a lot of fun to read. Since this was only day one training, it's going to be fun to see her continue to grow in her studies. (Plus her fight with Fusion Steven was exciting!)

Can't wait to see your next chapter!
4/28 c9 AnimeGirl 144
Nova gets more interesting. Having a whole council of herself feels like something out of Star Trek; like Q or something similar. She's revealed to be a Timewalker, and it's going to be fun to see what this exactly entails.

And now her DNA has been changed. I wonder what will come from this. Will they find the answer to why her DNA not only changed by was partially erased?

Oh, and she's found where the Gems are hidden. Bringing them on, especially the Crystal Gems, would benefit the hero side. I liked seeing her use her powers to fight the monsters. It reminded me of the end of Mandalorian Season 2.
4/28 c8 AnimeGirl 144
The interlude chapter! Well sorta. It lets us see what the rest of UNITE is up to while Nova is in Ooo. Although no one told Victor that his sister is missing...….so there may be trouble.

Abysus and Breach aligning with the heroes is super surprising. I can't wait to see this arrangement play out. Breach's abilities alone would be phenomenal for the hero side.

The Sweet Revenge. I feel bad for the poor Captain for losing his beloved ship; but some good came of it. They're now officially joining the alliance. And also, Athena got a Nano out of it!

And the suspense! Nova's a time traveler?
4/28 c7 AnimeGirl 144
AHA! Yes, Nanos are here. And the Gateways. I like their inclusion; it'll let universe hopping be easier. Oh I didn't expect we'd go into Ooo so soon! And for Nova to not only hang out there for a month, but to age a full four years.

And now there's time powers? How exciting! And once she has a mastery over it, it'll be so fun seeing her use them in battle.

Well, well, well. A boy in a green vest. Wonder where I've seen such a person in FusionFall? (I love seeing the promotional people getting some attention in fanfics; I wish they'd been used more in FF)

Aaaaaaannnndddd we end on a creepy note. Several copies of Nova just standing there? Creepy. Call Rod Serling.
4/7 c5 AnimeGirl 144
Ooooo, it's Providence's turn to join U.N.I.T.E.. I'm loving that we see White Knight approve of a splinter group, and that him and Rex are in the same agreement on the matter. Black Knight and the Consortium have made an appearance, and with their threat against White Knight, I wonder if they'll be a problem in the story later on. It seems like a set up for what went down in Season 3, where Black Knight took over and White Knight led the Providence Defects, but I'm hoping they pop up somewhere down the line in here to stir trouble. It'd be fun to see if other organizations would have a word or two about what they're doing.

Speaking of trouble! Something is going down in Tech Square. Wonder what's in store for the heroes on their next adventure! (...Did I just become the Pokemon narrator?).
3/31 c4 AnimeGirl 144
We're back, and I like this inclusion of Mojo. We get to see him being brought to the heroes side (or Earth forces? Earth alliance? you get the picture), and we see him providing support and aid. Him mentioning the Beat-Alls is my favorite since I am a Beatles fan.

I like the inclusion of the Park and the Zoo and Aquarium. I didn't think we'd get there so soon, but that's what's fun: I don't know what will happen next, and I'm along for the ride.

It's great to see Nova and her team building more bonds and bridges among the factions, especially since Mojo comes in as not only a guide, but also his Monkey Skyway Agents. I like the idea that Nova's unit to combine the hero side (or whatever they'd like to be referred to; maybe Earth side?) may seem small, but overtime will prove to have been the glue keeping things together.
3/12 c3 AnimeGirl 144
Haha! Work is pretty boring today, so it's nice to see this and have something fun to read while I wait for time to move on.

I don't know why but I love whenever there's meetings in the FF world. I guess because it's the biggest point of a crossover; it's where you can feasibly grabs so many people from so many shows into one area. And the fact we get two; one that's behind the scenes and one that is public (and I actually like the idea of a public treaty signing). (I also see you, too, refer to Dexter as McPherson.)

Loving that the team is bonding (and Athena teasing Kerry about being from South Florida and having Swampfire DNA was hysterical). Athena having 11 Imaginary Friends is wild, but also her last name. That was pretty funny to read. Seeing Nova down on herself, though, was sad, so I'm happy Max talks to her later to lift up her spirits (more on my reaction below).

(Samurai Jack gets a name drop here; you love to see it.)

What's THIS? The MULTIVERSE? The plot has thickened! I am sitting on the edge of my seat wondering what this will be. Which universe does Dex want them to go to? One known already in Ben 10's universe? Maybe DC? Maybe even Teletoons? Or even reboots? Or just over all "what-ifs?" There's so many possibilities and I am so excited to see this play out.

Grandpa Max being the best grandpa in the CN Universe warmed my heart (which was nice because it's freezing here. quick, I need more warm hearted things!). Nova had been keeping up a good front for the most part, but it was nice to see her confide in him and get a positive, uplifting answer back. And the fact that it resonated with Nova. Even after her doubts, seeing her at the end declare it a victory - however minor it is - put a smile on my face.

Excellent work and looking forward to the next one!
3/6 c2 AnimeGirl 144
Team U.N.I.T.E. is formed and picking up speed. I'm so happy to see other factions interacting. We didn't get too much of that in the game, whether this was because of the limited ability of the game or just the limited story telling. It's so nice to see it be played out in fanfiction (which is pretty much the remedy for the faults found in the OG).

Yessss, Rolf is here! I say it anytime he pops up, but I'm so happy to see him. One, it's a crime he wasn't featured in the OG, and Two, he's just a super fun character to write for. I love that him and Double D are on board with joining the other factions and Eddy is just trying to see how it profits him.

I also loved the mention that the Urban Rangers and Imaginary Friends are in an agreement and that the latter is helping the former with building the fort - that's such a cool addition to the lore! Also the mention of Imaginary Energy. I didn't think of how important it was in my first playthrough, until I was really paying attention to the missions.

Father absolutely decimating the Fusions with his abilities was so fun and a reminder on why Father is the most feared of the villains (behind Grandfather, but that was a movie-only villain). And it's a good reference for the game where we had an "enemy-of-my-enemy" case with him. And then there's Fusion Father! I, uh, mean Fake Father. Loved the fight, and that Ben came to help!

So joining Nova is Kerry and Athena. Hope to see more join U.N.I.T.E.! (also, love the acronym)
2/23 c1 ArtistV
It was an interesting take of the FF Universe I appreciate the cameos, the settings and the dialogue even tho some seemed a bit repetitive only a bit tho something that can be worked on for sure (i.e. to many ands in tandem at times). The invasion scene was nice and explore the actual invasion itself is very intriguing. I love the emphasis on words spoken by Father, you really captured that flare he has in his dialogue. It was weird that he said fine you can keep the part but then said no gimmie lol but that's again something that can be worked on. One last thing tho be careful of how you treat the NanoCom don't let it become the end all be all, basically a McGuffin. Well yea I enjoyed it and hope to see more from ya good luck.
2/23 c1 9Buttercrush
Love seeing more FusionFall fics focused on KND OCs!

This chapter was a nice set-up for what's to come, as well as a nice introduction to Nova and her brother. Exciting to see her deal with Father so soon after becoming an Operative, but the aliens are gonna be much more. I'm interested in seeing this version of the invasion too!
2/23 c1 107AnimeGirl 144
Hey there! Glad to see a new FF story up! I can't wait to see more of it.

I'm so happy to see a direct reference to G.R.A.D.U.A.T.E.S. And that the main character is a freshly minted operative. It's interesting because Nova will have different convictions than the regular volunteer, so this will be exciting to see unfold.

Having the invasion start off small is an interesting path. I'm super curious on how it'll go and to see how everyone reacts to it.

Excellent job!
2/23 c1 AndreaBlackrose
Personally, I love it!

You've done a wonderful job writing this, and I love the concept of the alternate reality you used in the story, I truly do

I'll gladly read any future chapters!

- Captain Blackrose
2/23 c1 1RayO1
I’m usually a bigger picture guy when it comes to my taste in stories; be it a large ensemble of characters or something appropriate to match the scale. But this first chapter really challenged that, and I found myself hooked despite the smaller picture and more personal focus with your characters.

Generally speaking, I love how you’ve committed to focusing on one realm of the Cartoon Network Universe before diving into the larger world; it really helps appeal to the sense of wonder that readers are in for, the awe and scale of this world is limitless, but it can’t all happen at once, lest the audience be confused. You’ve done that very well so far.

Regarding that specific one-realm, you’ve handled the KND lore and characters brilliantly, so much so that I actually find myself taking notes on how to portray their mythos for my own story. Father’s dialogue was on-point, as were the Sector V operatives themselves. And your OCs fit in very well with the setting!

What a lovely way to end too. Teasing the coming conflict while entering another corner of the CNU is enough to hook readers and work nicely from there. This next chapter sounds wild.

And I’m very much looking forward to it. A great start for your story, Sarah. Keep it up!

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