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for The Haunted Mask Returns!

6/17 c9 14Knight-Bishop
This is fantastic and has now become my favorite goosebumps Fanfiction. You are a genius.
5/29 c5 435Irhaboggles
Another great chapter! It was cool finally seeing Noah unleash the beast. I must admit, this chapter felt a tad derivative, essentially being CB's own exact story, but I suppose it makes sense, like, I'm not sure how else you could've written this scene.

But I do like seeing the mask talk to Noah, and Noah trying to argue back only to succumb to the mask eventually anyway. The mask sure is persuasive. And you did a great job showing Noah's "personality switches" as he veers in and out of the mask's control. Great work on this!
5/29 c4 Irhaboggles
LOVE THIS CHAPTER OMG!
I like the flashback with Carly Beth, was not expecting that at all, but it made me so happy!
1. It was nice to see CB again
2. I love that you expanded on Noah and the Mask (gave them extra scenes, showed them interacting, showed the Mask first using its power on Noah) That was all great stuff!
3. I love that CB was able to help him (the stuffed toy) but I also love that she did it in such a "big sister" way too, threatening him with the bear before giving it to him anyway. I just love seeing CB help her friends fight against the mask, but I love that you also kept some of her snippiness in it too. The sibling banter was very relatable LOL
This was such a clever chapter!

And now I see things are revving up as Noah once again dons the mask to take down Owen... Call me crazy, but part of why I love the mask is it's such an excellent metaphor for so many things. Especially in this case, it symbolizes anger and built up resentment. Such good, relatable stuff! And the scene of Noah willingly finding and donning the mask with the express purpose of taking down Owen was good not just bc it mirrored his sister's actions, but it just gives me the vibes of someone about to become truly dangerous and deranged... Someone who's been pushed just a little too far and has finally snapped and is willing to embrace the monster with in if it gives them the "strength" to seek revenge.

Definitely a lot of good, heavy stuff there!
5/29 c3 Irhaboggles
Ooooh, the mask draws nearer... Can't wait!
Once again, great chapter! When I say you write well, I don't just mean that it's good writing, I feel like you also capture the tone and style of Goosebumps very well, too. Like, all the bits of humor and sarcasm, not only did they make me laugh, but it sounds like something RL Stein would've done!
My fav part was when Noah said "I miss her friend, Sabrina!"
Not only do I appreciate the callback to the original 2 girls, but that was such a funny line and felt, again, like something RL Stein himself would write! Nice work!
5/29 c2 Irhaboggles
Ooooh intense! I didn't find this offensive at all, I think you wrote it very well. As I said in the other chapter, you're a great writer. You have nice, lengthy chapters, so there's substance, but they aren't too long either. The pacing is good!
The closest thing I have to a "criticism" is just a slight grammatical thing. When you write dialogue, you actually use a comma rather than a period when it leads to a dialogue tag. Like this:
"I didn't do it," she said.
Not
"I didn't do it." she said.
And there are other tiny grammatical things here and there, mostly pertaining to the confusing other rules of dialogue, but that's honestly it. Everything else looks good!
5/29 c1 Irhaboggles
This was really good! You're an excellent writer! So honored to have inspired this story! Thx for the shout out 3
5/22 c4 28sweetie buttons
Their mother was the symbol of love for both of them. Nothing stronger than a mother’s love, right? I’m on Noah’s side, Owen is worse than Chuck and Steve.
5/20 c4 2yourecoolerthanme
i really like this so far! it rlly reads like a goosebumps book, and noah’s got some humor to him that makes him charming & distinct instead of Male Protagonist #45. he’s a little quick to put on the mask imo, but i think you did a pretty good job at establishing how desperate for revenge he is.

also the mask speaking through him is such a spooky touch i love it. did you come up with that?
5/10 c1 11DragonEmperor999
Not a bad start

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