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7/15 c12 35Elizabeth Joan-hbndgirl
My apologies for not reviewing sooner. I meant to, but things have gotten a little crazy lately.
First off, congratulations on your first completed story! That is a big accomplishment in any case, but when your first story is as good as this one, there's even more to be excited about. As I think I said in an earlier review, your conclusion to the mystery was absolutely perfect. I think it took most of us by surprise but you really did give hints to it. They were just subtle enough that I didn't pay attention to them. Really, really excellent writing there.
I can't totally agree with Nancy's decision here. I don't think Michael and John will hurt anyone else, of course, but I do hope for their own sake, they realize what they did was very wrong, even if the Lincer sisters were themselves murderers. I am glad that Gordon is going to tell everything he knows so that the other victims and their families will know that the Lincers are gone. There are still going to be a lot of questions about what happened to them and some better investigators than Ropkins might get involved, so I'm not completely optimistic about Michael and John avoiding detection forever, even if they're not suspects at the moment. I did have to chuckle about Amelia using Michael as an example of someone above suspicion.
Ah, poor James. Lol!
I don't know if Nancy would tell Bess and George. She keeps secrets from them when she's promised she would. However, Bess and George will probably pester her to no end about it!
Once again, great job! Thank you for writing and sharing this story. I eagerly look forward to your next one!
7/11 c12 25Drumboy100
*bows* Wow! What a story, and what a final chapter. Complex, deep, meaningful, controversial. My first story posted here wasn't remotely as good as this, and I was much older than you are, too.

I love this ending BECAUSE I disagree with it. The goal isn't to make every reader feel comfortable, the goal is to write a cohesive main character/plot: if your interpretation of Nancy is that the criminal should go free, then the ending is perfect. I like the dark interpretation of Nancy experiencing full rage imagining something happening to Carson/Hannah, knowing she's capable of vigilante revenge; I also do think that Nancy would expect to go to jail if she did such things. Nancy knows she's justifying her decision, as evidenced by not whipping out her phone and calling her dad when that's the first thing she's done at every other step of the way. She wants to interpret her dad's previous words the way that she wants to. And I don't think she'll ever tell George or Bess, because she doesn't want them to think differently of her.

And you brought back characters I entirely forgot! Maybe James will learn not to pick on anyone. Poor Jennifer, only one Lamborghini this year (and now no more!), and poor James, no world tour, LOL! You should definitely be proud of this story; if readers disagree, it means you're doing your job and making us think, and no one wants to read a boring story. Best wishes with school and we'll meet again for your next story!
7/11 c12 1Nan girl
James really deserved all that mud! I was laughing so hard at that text from his dad 'world tour cancelled'! lol...I'm happy to see Nancy's human side to win...Sometimes its better for the humanity to win, and Drumboy100 will agree with you! She had to made Nancy do something like this.
Great story!
Can't wait for October!
7/9 c11 25Drumboy100
Wow! My jaw dropped and I got chills up and down my spine! I never saw it coming, yet it seems so completely obvious in retrospect-the sign of a very good twist. I wonder if Elizabeth Joan figured it out, she pays attention to mysteries and I pay attention to characters...I was too busy hoping Nancy and Michael would get together that I skipped some of those obvious clues. Good thing Nancy stayed single, lol. I definitely should have figured it out when Michael's "new memory medication" kicked in three hours later! That is a creative hustle. At first I thought it was really irresponsible of Nancy to confront them alone, but I guess there were enough witnesses outside to prevent Michael/John from hurting Nancy. This story is haunting because the people murdered were despicable, and the murderer was the victim...tragic. If only Michael had pursued legal action instead of taking justice into his own hands. Great reveal, and looking forward to the final chapter.
7/9 c11 1Nan girl
Did I tell you that I was getting bad vibes from Michael? Well if did, then I'll congratulate myself for my intuition and if I didn't,...well then I was grasping the straws or what they say...Great chapter, I would not have expected Michael to come out clean but yeah, you never know how criminals react to being caught. I really loved the last line...I'll die in pieces...sorta clichè but I am still all for it!
Nan girl
7/9 c11 35Elizabeth Joan-hbndgirl
I really didn't suspect Michael. I was a little suspicious of John, but somehow I never thought Michael was a suspect. I'd say you had the perfect balance of surprise and dropping hints. I certainly hadn't figured this out, but now that I think back on all the hints that were dropped, I can see it plainly now. Excellent job!
7/7 c10 1Nan girl
That letter- oh that letter! I have to stand on my chair and applaud her to write that letter like its no big deal. And the diary too! Jenny deserves an ovation too but well, she managed to get herself killed too. Michael's past is rubbing off wrong vibes to me, I don't know why! Let's see what happens next!
7/7 c10 25Drumboy100
That sister letter was hilarious, I laughed out loud! Yes, quite a hardship, only being able to afford one Lamborghini each year. Those are some evil sisters. And good, I've been looking forward to Michael getting his memory back. Quite an effective medication, that it started working after a few hours, everyone on the planet should be taking that medication. I feel like you've given us enough information to be able to figure out who the knife-obsessed person is...yet I'm still stumped...
7/7 c10 35Elizabeth Joan-hbndgirl
So Jenny did kill Ariana, but we still don't know who killed Jenny or why. Maybe Derek for revenge about the fire (since it's looking like Jenny and maybe Ariana probably set the fire). Or maybe it was Jennifer Lincer or this Aren person. I definitely didn't expect Jenny to be a contract killer. I wonder what was on that page that was cut.
7/7 c9 Elizabeth Joan-hbndgirl
Oh, wow! I didn't see THAT coming. Somebody must have something against the Willin sisters. It's a good thing Nancy is on the case; I'm not sure Ropkins is very good at his job! Maybe Dan and Alex will be more helpful...Now I need to read the next chapter to see what's in that email.
7/6 c9 1Nan girl
Lol! Dupatta-Ceiling Fan combination...I laughed out loud!
Two people out, Jenny and Ariana...btw, what happened to Derek...Since he's family he must have been notified, right?
Mr. Ropkins - he's a (not so idiotic) idiot character...It must have been very difficult for him to accept that Nancy was sorta smarter. I like Dan and Alex too
7/6 c9 25Drumboy100
There are plenty of ceiling fans in America. Although I'm sure it's much hotter where you are! ;) Good for Nancy for immediately seeing a clue that the police officers don't. I really like that interpretation of Carson as having occasional panic attacks over Nancy's career, that makes him much more relatable than the dad-as-colleague-only stoicism. I also love the realism of the camp pretty much shutting down and the flight booked for tomorrow night; it would certainly stretch realism to try to continue to have camp now! It also gives Nancy pressure to solve this quickly, so readers know that we're coming up on the end. If I remember who all the characters are and which of them died, I'll consider that a success! ;) A considerate start to each chapter, bringing us all up to speed. Stay cool, safe and healthy.
7/4 c8 1Nan girl
Fishy things. Is it only me or do the names Jenny Willin and Jennifer Lincen sound the same? What if they are both the same person? What if Jenny's the one lying because Mr. Gordon though not clearly told that Ariana had enemies and Jenny vehemently denied it? Well, a lot of what ifs, less answers but that's what mysteries are about!
7/3 c8 25Drumboy100
Is Jenny Lincin actually Jennifer London? Suspicious behavior by multiple people! Good emotional hook, now there is a rift with Nancy and her dad...usually he is so proud and supportive, either he knows more than he's saying or, more likely, he is very worried about Nancy's safety. Good for Bess and George for not being offended that they are suspects (as are we all!). So happy that this story is getting the following it deserves.
7/3 c8 35Elizabeth Joan-hbndgirl
That newspaper cutting really added a twist to things. Jennifer Lincer must be involved with the Willins somehow. Could she and Jenny be the same person? Who dropped the cutting and why did they have it? Did Jenny just happen to see Nancy reading the cutting or was she out looking for it? Lots of questions, but as Nancy keeps realizing, not many answers. Julian was helpful, at least, Carson less so. Hopefully Nancy gets a lead soon!
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