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for Jackie Chan Adventures: Olympian Journey

7/27 c14 40Eduard Kassel
A more focused Eris, interesting.

And she seems to have doubled down on bonding with her minions. Have her plans shifted to raising them up as a true new pantheon and "family" to replace what she has lost.

Really I don't recall any JCA villain having character development like this. Eris really is the most memorable part of the story here.

Phobos eh? And who would have thought the cosplaying would become a factor like that. Fist of the North Star biker style anyone?

I am guessing uncle saw everyone in his circle dead ad the world fallen. Himself the sole survivor.

Interesting tactics from Eris. And lying about the nature of her tracking. And a rabbit now is it? Xanatos Gambit incoming?

Drew has the pearl. This, feels like it will get awkward.

Thanks for the info on the tragedy in Southeast Asia. I had hoped democracy was finally prevailing there.
7/20 c14 170ccam's Razor
Okay, finally get a chance to review here. Been really hectic lately.
I couldn’t help but feel this was more like a preview to the rest of the arc, but it was well-done. If there is one place where this fic truly shines its with Eris, and specifically, her dialogue, You’ve don’t a great job fleshing her out and making her more than just the typical bad guy.
I admit that seeing Drew gain the pearl was something of a WTF-moment, but then when I reread the chapter it made sense in more than one way. This certainly has potential, and you also seem to do well with this policy of using minor characters as plot-relevant ones.
On another note, I am intrigued by Eris using Phobos’ powers. Wonder what Jade’s fear is...
One more thing I have GOT to mention, I'm truly starting to love the pun-based chapter titles. "Pearls Before Incline" REALLY made me laugh.
7/19 c14 722The Cowardly Christian
nice intro, that's totally how they would've done it!

...wait, you gave the Godess of Love's essence to DREW...is this going to be a shipping thing?
7/19 c14 71Ri2
Nice opening sequence.

Did you REALLY need to reference TTG?

Oh great, Drew got the pearl.

Also, wow, that situation in Myanmar sounds horrible. Sorry you're having to live through that.
7/16 c14 16Ander Arias
Yeah, I have heard about what's going on on Myanmar. Let's hope that things will get better for the people living in that country.

I'm a bit puzzled whenever you mention the monk's additional pair of arms, since I always forget he got the armbands of Shiva.

So, in the end, it's Drew the one who's going to get Aphrodite's essence? Not somebody I had in mind for any essence, much less Aphrodite's. Let's see how the next episode plays out.
7/15 c14 50acosta perez jose ramiro
Excellent chapter, as always. And good way to explain why Eris is now more calculating; she still loves chaos but can't help to have a tactical mind too.

Keep the good writing.
7/15 c14 5Fox Boss
Are we gonna have a Golden Turd chapter?
7/15 c14 61D.J. Scales
Okay I did not expect to see Drew get the Pearl.
7/15 c14 Matt
Guessing that Uncle’s fear was Daolon Wong.
7/15 c14 47Zim'sMostLoyalServant
Sorry that GPQ is stuck living through suck hell. At least she has outlets like this site to help deal with the stress.

Anyway, as for the story itself, liking the start of this new arc. Seeing Eris actually planning things out is actually kind of terrifying, and I'm both anticipating and dreading seeing what she has in store. Meanwhile, though, liking her new fear power, as exploring characters' worst fears is one of my favorite tropes. Looking forward to learning just what Uncle saw that shook him so badly, and seeing if Jade gets hit with it too (if only because she deserves a better worse fear than that random mule transformation in that one Season 5 episode).

And interesting choice for Drew to get the pearl. Assuming there's not a last minute fake-out, looking forward to seeing what happens when he activates the essence.

Keep up the good work.

Zim'sMostLoyalServant signing off.
6/13 c13 107th Librarian
'Minotaur crashes through maze' is like my new favorite line. Someone put that on a shirt so I can wear it!

Lots of good stuff here - the fight scenes are well done and the dialogue is snappish, which means they don't drag. I will waffle about how Hestia's whole bit of bringing back her family, only to get echoes and them banish them again feels a bit like extra fluffy frosting atop an already good cake. It's good that she, Captain Black and the rest of Section 13 get to show off they aren't helpless or useless (Like, serious kudos on the fact the Chans had helicopter back-up for this whole thing.) but the other side of that is I'm not sure what it added beyond existing for the sake of existing? Which, again, isn't bad and I have suspicions that you authors will have a pay-off about this. I mean, beyond Captain Black getting a girlfriend and some character depth. But I also feel like removing it wouldn't have affected things too greatly.

Ares' death, as it were, was probably my least favorite part. Not that in it was bad or shoved in for the sake of it, but that it was shown to humanize Eris and try and make her relatable, but the thing is that she's shown several times already that she's completely selfish and focused completely on doing what she wants to do for her own amusement and holds grudges over the past simply because they're the easier option.

Now, granted, a big thing about Greek gods is that realllllyyyyyy do not change at all and tend to be dickish all around because they're the Greek Gods. But we have Hestia and Prometheus (Yes, not really a true god I know still counts :P ) to counterbalance Eris and Eris herself isn't someone I WANT, as a reader, to feel sorry for or even pity. I want her to lose, I want her to stop being a danger to everyone else and I really want her to put Hak-Fu in a sweater and start instagramming about how cute he is just to cause a big rift in the Internet for her own chaotic joy - but I don't want her to less than she is by adding tragedy and so on? She's good as is, adding another layer of paint means you're just going to paint over the shine.

That said, it is just my opinion and tastes as a reader and how the story flows is up to you. I feel like sixth-month time-skip may be a coin toss as a writing choice, but I also feel that with the quality you guys have shown so far, you can make either time-skip or not work out well. And I do really look forwards to reading the next chapter.
5/30 c13 83erica.phoenix16
Thanks for updating. :)
5/19 c13 3Metal Overlord 2.0
I...did not expect things to get that dark. Granted you DID present a clear warning at the beginning of the chapter, and Ares was already shown to be an especially vicious deity, but still I'm impressed. The fact someone actually died when the dust settled in this chapter took me by surprise, as while the other echoes had plans that would have certainly caused death and destruction the Chans have been usually able to keep the damage from becoming irreversible.

But...yeah, this time it felt different. A life was lost and the Chans didn't so much win as buy themselves some time and honestly? The story is better for moments like this. There's an uncertainty now in the air that will add tension to each and every contest for the essence now that makes things even more interesting them before. Not that I'm expecting you to abandon the comedy of course good lord no!

But yeah this was an excellent conclusion to the Ares arc. The action was amazing (even if I would have liked to see more of Ares and Eris tag teaming Jackie, though considering how hard it would have been to make him hold his own believably against that kind of teamwork I can understand a little case of tell not show) and I ended up feeling surprisingly bad for Eris. You really hit home how much anguish she experienced essentially losing Ares a second time. You know if you are interested I might have an idea for a cute scene involving Eris and her minions later. But in any case yeah the whole thing was amazing.

I also liked how in the sub-plot Hestia was finally forced to confront the fact that yes, the other gods of Olympus are well and truly gone. I wasn't sure how you were going to explain how several of them seemed to have resurrected last chapter but it makes a good bit of sense. They weren't so much gods as they were hollow caricatures of what those gods used to be. It was a powerful moment when Hestia finally made peace with them being gone contrasting Eris' grief at the 'death' of Eris.

There were some lighter moments to be sure, like how a random helicopter pilot briefly became the MVP of the chapter and Black working up the nerve to ask Hestia out. After all the excitement of this arc I would hardly blame you if the next one was a bit more light hearted. But nonetheless you continue to keep me interested in what happens next, even if I am notoriously slow to review ;
5/2 c13 40Eduard Kassel
That was surprising; well done.

I was not expecting the revived squad to stick around but interesting that they were constructs rather tan a true resurrection. And Captain Black dating Hestia? Well well, I mist be dense didn't see it coming at all.

Backtracking; interesting new look for Eris, but the reference is lost on me. I love that Jade's reaction to Ates ambition is to call him a workaholic and Eris agreeing with her. Hmm, might Eris be destroyed in this story and Jade get possessed by her essence?

Moving on they are quite the brother sister team; you do well to convey their dynamic. And Prometheus explaining the particulars.

And were those Toguro references?

Rather sad to see Ares go, great villain material there and I kept picturing him as the Hercules/Xena Ares. After the exorcism failed I really thought he was in for the long haul.

Anyway Eris is gong to be much more trouble now. The power is only a fragment of it too. As you showed here even evil has loved ones, and while it has been touched on she lost someone very dear to her once again, helpless to save him. The existential question doesn't matter to her. Her motives have been refreshed by new wounds still bleeding in grief.

We are not heading for the showdown yet, but much like Hestia's intro this is a game changer.
4/22 c13 170ccam's Razor
Guess I was wrong about Ares being the true “big bad”, but this does seem much better. With Eris seemingly passing the “moral event horizon” by killing a man and gaining a substantial increase in power, I see this fic taking a turn into darker territory.
The explanation that Zeus, Hera, Athena, Hephaestus were merely “echos” created by Hesita seemed sort of anti-climatic, but also very well done. I did get a kick out of Jade’s little game of hide and seek with Hak-Foo; ironic that being turned into an amalgamation of so many animals didn’t improve his sense of hearing or smell, but hey, guess that’s the nature of Chaos.
Again, it’s a pity Fanfic works like this have no illustrations, as the battle between Jackie and Ares might have looked much better animated. It was well-choreographed though, and I dare say the dialogue in these fics is improving with each chapter.
I’m thrilled with the idea of new allies showing up, and am holding out hope to see more bad guys too. I’m not holding out hope for Valmont to appear again (someone I always kinda liked, even if he was an idiot) and sincerely hope Daolon does NOT appear. (I despised him.)
So, I may be wrong, but I do think what occurs in this chapter makes it the halfway point or the end of “Act 1”. Looking forward to the rest.
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