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for Asset029: An Origin

12/23 c23 4Doc0517
Wow. These scenes are cinematic. I feel like I'm watching them play out in front of me. This was intense - Hersh assassinating his own people on the way out the door with his boss. How do these people live with themselves!
And the scene with Gabriel at the start - creepy and scary. Somebody's got to stop this thing ! Nice job...
12/23 c22 Doc0517
You have an uncanny knack of keeping the pace so high in these scenes. I feel almost breathless reading it. And how you came by the lingo for each type of team member or leader-type character, I can't imagine - that's what makes it so believable and rich.
Awesome.
12/23 c21 Doc0517
OK, so this was awesome...I feel like your whole writing style is morphing along with your story. There is real brilliance in some of your phrasing and descriptions. The way that you can draw out the tension in the scene - it's just remarkable to me.

How creepy-incredible was Gabriel - I think you've brought him up a notch from the original on the show. You capture the soul-lessness of these operatives, and far from having too many of them around to keep track of, the numbers speak of the vast size of this organization, and that any one operative can be quickly replaced by someone else.

Go along or get pushed aside (or worse). There is no place for humanity in this organization. Geez, I wouldn't last a minute!
12/20 c20 Doc0517
Wow! What an intense chapter. You really did your homework to put this together. So much incredible detail goes into creating a chapter like this. Research that must have taken hours to do. You know weapons, and tactics, and the language used by the various groups: militia-men from the back woods of Oregon, to tactical operatives, to precocious 10-year old boys. And your locales are as excellent as always. Love the little nod to one of my favorites - Shaw.
Nice work over these last two chapters. It's a pleasure to be back reading your work again.
12/5 c17 Doc0517
Back into the story after a long delay.
I have to say that Martine is becoming more and more defined as she is revealed in this story. And, personally, I love the richness your OCs give to the story. It's like a movie, with all of these supporting characters swirling around the main ones. Without them the story seems flat and lifeless. This is a dark world, full of sinister characters with veiled motives. You describe them so well and keep the tension high.
Can't imagine how you know so much.
11/12 c42 22MusesOwnMyMind
You should know, I got so, SO excited when I saw you'd updated this! I confess, there's been a rather large void in my life when it comes to POI, mostly because of my distraction by other fandoms. But my goodness did this chapter fill that void! You may have just rekindled the addiction. ;)

The entire chapter had such an ominous undertone, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't love every minute of it! But I was particularly struck by the ending segment with Martine unconscious, and Holloway being rather more than vaguely menacing. At least for me, he was kind of rivaling Greer, here, in that regard, with the hints at a broader plan for revenge, etc, and I'm definitely looking forward to how his plans play out (or fail, whatever the case may be). And then there was the bit with Lena Seehoffer and Rassmussen. That guy gives me the creeps, too. But at the risk of repeating myself, I am just amazed at how well you work with the intricate details of all of these characters/OCs and their interactions with one another, and keep that undercurrent of intrigue/danger going just like they did on the show! Needless to say, I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter, whenever that comes around! I am hooked! :D (But you knew that, already...)
9/21 c41 MusesOwnMyMind
Saying anything other than that the very first part of the chapter left me in chills would be a gross understatement! It was eerie and haunting, and yet touching in spots as well (with Martine and Tommy in particular, at least before she learned the truth of what happened to him), and it definitely gave the sort of vibe as though Martine was re-watching episodes of her life from the outside, looking in (if that makes any sense at all). I was reminded a bit of John when she commented that she didn't particularly like killing people, but she was just so good at it. And I grinned like a fool when I realized that you probably intended for that to be the case ;).

I'm not going to lie, your description of Greer at the very end ("an aged man made of melting plastic") was PERFECT, as well! I am in awe of how accurately you portray him whenever he makes an appearance, because it really is just like watching him on the show! I just can't wait to see what you have planned for future chapters (and a potential sequel :D)! I know I'll be on the edge of my seat every single time I read!
8/17 c40 MusesOwnMyMind
Oh, what a chapter this was! I was so excited to see you had updated again, I may or may not have done a rather embarrassing happy dance ;). And then to actually read it, and see some familiar faces, besides was perfect! I absolutely loved your description of Reese, Snow, and Stanton, as well as the dialogue between them (it was them to a T)! I swear, the way you write all of these characters and their interactions/fight scenes really makes me feel like I should be seeing the scenes on the show (imagine my disappointment when I watch episodes again and they actually aren't there...). I can't fathom how you manage to pack so much detail of everyone's movements, etc into each snippet and yet it still flows so easily to the reader as they're going through the chapters! I have to admit, I'm absolutely certain if I tried to do the same I'd fall flat on my face :D

I was waiting with bated breath the entire time Martine was in the manufacturing plant, too (especially when Samaritan started to have her and Lynn eliminate each other, only to be stopped by Jeremy...I do quite enjoy his character, but of course you already knew that ;) ). All of the double agents/moles, etc that you've placed in various agencies/countries are so very believable to what Samaritan's goal really was and I have to confess I almost wish POI had either delved more into their actions as well, or created a spin-off dedicated to Samaritan/Decima itself as you've done here (a girl can dream, right?). In any case though, this chapter, like all the others before it was absolutely perfect! I, myself, am hoping it takes a bit more than 50 chapters to wind everything up...I really don't know what I'll do (other than be very sad) when this story does end! :D
7/13 c39 MusesOwnMyMind
I may or may not have squealed with excitement when I checked my favorite stories list and saw you had updated this! I guess you could say I'm a bit hooked, but how could I not be? Every single one of your chapters is almost like watching an episode of the show itself, albeit from Samaritan/Decima's point of view instead. It almost makes me wish the producers could have taken a spin at something like that, themselves, if for no other reason than to give us POI lovers another set of stories to enjoy. But then again, I kind of doubt I would have enjoyed that as much as I enjoy your story, so perhaps it's better they didn't ;)

Needless to say, this chapter was every bit as amazing as all the ones that came before it! Like I said before, it's nice to see Zachary's beginnings with Decima in addition to Martine's, and you know I'll never turn away from some scenes with Lambert, or Garrison, for that matter! There's a small part of me that wouldn't mind seeing more background on Jeremy, as well (I confess to carrying a small flame for Julian Ovenden ever since seeing him in Downton Abbey, and then POI not that long afterward...) But no matter if that background turns up in this story or not, I am of course anxiously awaiting the next installment! This has got to be, hands down, my favorite POI story I've ever read :D
7/4 c15 4Doc0517
Amazing. I want to see this story as a movie. The characters are so tightly-drawn and how you come up with all of these details to make them seem even more sinister and threatening, I'll never know. The settings are opulent, other than the bleak jail cell scenes - all these men awash in cash and leverage.

What a surprise at the end of this chapter! Too bad I hadn't read this when you wrote it. You visited my neck of the woods in NY - we could have met and reminisced about POI over dinner. Something to look forward to if you holiday here again.
6/22 c13 Doc0517
I copied this over from the previous chapter. It wouldn't let me review a chapter I'd already reviewed. It seems different than I remember it, but here goes, anyway

So glad I started up reading this again. Some of your visuals are so striking. I particularly like :
"The dark room was like a place out of time, a place to rest without consequence.
Darkness in that way was a sanctuary..."
Outstanding!
You've caught Greer perfectly. I can visualize him with his resonant voice, crooning his lines. And Mark, hapless Mark Snow. That guy is toast.
The little tete-a-tete with Veronica and Root, masterfully done. I look forward to catching up with your story. Nicely done.

And in this chapter, the tension in the courtroom scene, the visuals with the data scrolling for Rasmussen to see, to manipulate his victims. It's not a hard sell to believe this is going on right now, right here...
6/12 c38 22MusesOwnMyMind
Let me just say that I get so unreasonably excited every single time I pick up on a piece of dialogue or hints of dialogue from existing scenes! And I was also very pleased (perhaps too pleased, to be honest) with myself for suspecting that the "towering, dark-skinned man" Greer was meeting with in the beginning was actually Zachary! It was definitely interesting to see how he was recruited, at least at the start, and I'm really hoping we get some more scenes with him too. I know this is primarily about Martine's origins, of course, but I really do love reading little snippets about everyone else's background as well!

As always, I love the way you handle the scenes in this story, going back and forth between the past and present. It flows so easily, and really offers good background on Decima/Samaritan and Martine as well, then and now. Needless to say I'll be waiting for the next update whenever it comes :D I can't wait to read more!
5/5 c37 MusesOwnMyMind
I'm a bit embarrassed to say I was a little too pleased that my supposition that the "rotund, streetwise gentleman" was Fusco turned out to be correct. It might've made me grin like a fool through the rest of the chapter. Oops? It's so good to see little glimpses of familiar faces even in the midst of exploring other characters that didn't get as much, if any, screen time on the show! And I really don't know how you write the action sequences like you do, with so much detail and yet they're STILL every bit as fast-paced as they would be on the TV screen. It's one of my favorite things about your writing (among the many other favorite things :D), and I really do envy your ability to make everything flow so smoothly! It makes for such an enjoyable read, and needless to say (as per usual) I am eagerly awaiting more!
4/15 c36 MusesOwnMyMind
Well, you've done it again! Just when I think the action and information can't get any better, it does! I was on the edge of my seat with the last snippet between Mia and Gabriel. There's just something about the idea of Samaritan using that little boy as its mouthpiece that is unbelievably interesting and creepy all at the same time! And somehow, reading Gabriel's scenes on the screen is even more frightening than what little we saw of him in the show! I'm definitely looking forward to seeing more of him in the future (Does that make me crazy? Yes? Okay :D)

I have to admit, you surprised me when Elyse almost pulled one over on Martine in the flashback! I absolutely love the way you write your action scenes, especially with all of the detail you manage to include without bogging down the scene, itself! Needless to say, once again, I am anxiously awaiting more! :)
4/7 c35 MusesOwnMyMind
Alright, I am FINALLY caught up! I'm sorry it took me so long to get here, but I was trying to intersperse reading with my own writing and it went a bit awry. Oops? Needless to say, though, I am absolutely loving this story! You do such an amazing job with description of both the scenes, and the characters themselves, and then to intersperse that with the dialogue besides is just amazing! Greer, Lambert, and Martine are 100 percent spot on, and I have to confess to doing a bit of an excited flail every single time I came across lines of dialogue that were familiar from the canon episodes! It goes without saying that I am officially hooked, and I am definitely going to be keeping an eye out for new chapters whenever they come out :D
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