8/6/2020 c3 34Jack797
There it is: The fear of the unknown. Lovecraft's style of horror. Nice job. The "Drip" thing kind of went on too much, but it didn't hurt the story at all. I get the feeling a lot of great authors probably would've written it like that. Very nice job though. Keep on working on this if you're able to! :D
There it is: The fear of the unknown. Lovecraft's style of horror. Nice job. The "Drip" thing kind of went on too much, but it didn't hurt the story at all. I get the feeling a lot of great authors probably would've written it like that. Very nice job though. Keep on working on this if you're able to! :D
8/6/2020 c2 Jack797
I would complain about the repetitive use of the word "Dreams" in the first paragraph, but I think the number of times you used the word was fine to get your point across. This chapter was pretty good, I'll admit. Still a bit confused the narrator hasn't been named even though someone else was in this chapter. Not really much of a complaint considering out of the H. P. Lovecraft stories I've read so far (I'm currently reading a complete collection of them on my Kindle), I think he's used the narrators' names only once for two of the ones I've read. Also, because of how strange the name "Gtuyin" looks, I'm guessing that's a fictional city, but I'm not an expert on the US map, so I could be wrong.
I would complain about the repetitive use of the word "Dreams" in the first paragraph, but I think the number of times you used the word was fine to get your point across. This chapter was pretty good, I'll admit. Still a bit confused the narrator hasn't been named even though someone else was in this chapter. Not really much of a complaint considering out of the H. P. Lovecraft stories I've read so far (I'm currently reading a complete collection of them on my Kindle), I think he's used the narrators' names only once for two of the ones I've read. Also, because of how strange the name "Gtuyin" looks, I'm guessing that's a fictional city, but I'm not an expert on the US map, so I could be wrong.
8/6/2020 c1 Jack797
Very nice setup in my opinion. I think it probably would've been a better idea to introduce whoever the heck is talking in this chapter, but it's still not bad the way you told it. Also, the references to music I definitely like because I DO love to sing, heh. You did a decent job here, I'll admit though
Very nice setup in my opinion. I think it probably would've been a better idea to introduce whoever the heck is talking in this chapter, but it's still not bad the way you told it. Also, the references to music I definitely like because I DO love to sing, heh. You did a decent job here, I'll admit though
7/6/2019 c1 1Chubbypencil
very good, I do have to say, though is it going to continue or was this it... And also who is talking and also what's happening... But other than that it's pretty good!
very good, I do have to say, though is it going to continue or was this it... And also who is talking and also what's happening... But other than that it's pretty good!