Just In
Community
Forum
More
for When Family Matters

10/2/2020 c20 idontwritetoomuch
hello! im back and i ain’t gone yet. this chapter was so amazing to read and i love how you went into how jesse, being half? ender makes him have a fear of water! that’s so great for you, i hope it goes well! remember to drink water and to always take breaks and take care of yourself!
7/12/2020 c1 23CheezPretzel
Hey, Northern Goshawk!
I sent you a message through the PM services of this site, will you please read it and respond?
Thanks, CheezPretzel
6/30/2020 c20 1WeirdUniverses
So I only just found this story, and I couldn't stop reading. I regret not reading this earlier. The way you write your characters is mind-blowing. Keep up the good work!
6/5/2020 c20 lucysnuffle
Happy 20th chapter! You write Jesse's fear really well. I love your take on the whole Ender/water thing for torture! Again, the way you write all the characters is well done; excited for more!

Congratulations on the voice acting; that sounds super fun!
5/5/2020 c19 lucysnuffle
oop sorry I'm a bit late on this chpt.. but I LOVE the way this chapter, in particular, was done; keep up the good work! I think you write the characters really well, but Hadrian in particular stuck out to me this time. Good job!
3/6/2020 c17 lucysnuffle
Oops! Forgot to mention a suggestive solution in my last comment. Maybe use more strong verbs in place of -ly adverbs. Sorry; have a great day/night! Did I mention that this story is amazing?
3/6/2020 c17 lucysnuffle
I like this one!
/ nO. jEsSe sToP! CoMe bAcK! Petra, Jesse needs another smack! BuT hArDeR!
/ Um, one suggestion for your writing though. You tend to use a LOT of the same -ly adverbs in accompaniment with your verbs, and it gets repetitive and choppy. I understand that it's good to be descriptive, but try not to force it.
But that's it! Have a fantastic time existing on this mortal plane!
3/5/2020 c17 idontwritetoomuch
Ah! So sorry for cursing, I won’t curse from now ! Milo is here, Isa and Jesse are safe, the whole town is in danger, and hopefully nobody IMPORTANT dies! :D I hop you, you, AND you are having a wonderful day/night and remember to get good sleep, even if it’s just a nap. (Sorry if this review is a little wonky, I’m not feeling too well but the chapter caught my eye because I’m in love with this story)
3/1/2020 c16 idontwritetoomuch
DAMN- Aiden I’m so sorry maya is dead(did we already know that? Cause if we did I’m triple sorry) but that is not excuse to belittle the man and possibly kill the founder AND maybe Jesse(because well. Flashbacks I think) and I hope YOU (you-the author) is having a lovely day/night and remember to drink water and take breaks!
2/20/2020 c16 lucysnuffle
I really love this so far.

I think Aiden's behavior fits. I love to see your grasp on how different events affect different characters' development.

It might just be me, but your writing seems to have really improved since the beginning of this story. Yay!
2/10/2020 c15 lucysnuffle
Ooooh, it's back! :D
2/9/2020 c15 idontwritetoomuch
Yes! Isa trusts them! And yes yes I see you’ve taken a breather once again, that’s perfectly fine and I hope you are having a wonderful day/night!
12/25/2019 c14 lucysnuffle
How about Lukas for the author-character thingy? Merry Christmas! Thank you for sharing your story with us!
12/25/2019 c14 lucysnuffle
The pacing in this chapter is really well done! Yes, I think an author and character convo would be an interesting interlude.
12/24/2019 c14 idontwritetoomuch
I see you took my advice.. well this chapter was amazing! A character-author interaction seems interesting, maybe Lukas if you were to do it. Have a fantastic day/night! (And yes I’m VERY interested in this)
22 Page 1 2 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service