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for Lost Girl (ON HAITUS)

3/1 c1 SuchTalesPhantasmic
Hey there! Awesome story so far! I really like how you've started this story off, and I'm already excited to see where you take it! I also really enjoy you're writing style. If it's constructive criticism you're looking for, the only thing I've really got for you is to maybe use some more descriptions in your writing. Describe the area the current scene is taking place in more detail, and for events that change quickly or are important, like in this chapter when Parker suddenly shoots up into the sky, take a bit more time to describe the transition. I'm not saying to go all Lord of the Rings on it and take 20 pages to describe a fountain, but give that kind of transition a few more sentences to create that vivid and clear picture in your readers' minds. It should help bring your story to life even more! Again, I am loving your story so far! Can't wait for your next chapter!

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