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for A Little Bit Kew-Kew, The Wearet's Flights Of Fancy

12/4/2020 c13 22CasterWay
PLOT! Make way for the plot!

Finally, Carrabas sees everything crashing down around him - and he isn't happy. Rolf and Kew-Kew are quickly dismissed after Kew-Kew and his big mouth reveals that Rolf had been stealing his trophies, and the rat joins forces with Carrabas, quickly hiring a deadly assassin (haha tautologies) to kill the former!

Wait. What?

Of course, calling Robin an assassin is a stretch, since her track record is unmentioned and most likely unmentionable, but Ralph is clearly overreacting here. Killing people isn't cool! Still, I'm very happy that we get references to MOV, with Siler and Robin and whatnot. Oh, and that the plot's moving in a direction that surprises me pleasantly. Things are set in motion that cannot be undone, and a barrel of laughs is all set to be poured upon you. As for tears... let's see if Kew-Kew does something particularly 'brilliant'.

Update soon-ish!

P.S. Although Robin is all set to fail miserably... things are going to get really fun if she succeeds. And by fun, I mean heated.
11/3/2020 c10 7Sebias of Redwall
Wow. Lots of good stuff in this chapter. Not really speaking from any plot sense, but more for character.

Poor Rolf. As is more often than not, when he has his rant to express his frustrations, he picks a time when no one hears him. Also, yeah, poor guy. Imagine being jealous of a wearet who things he's a eagle.
And of course, Kew-Kew just had to mumble enough at the right time to spark the rant along. I must admit, it's so weird to think that Kew-Kew actually ate mice. :P

It's kinda hard to say what I like specifically about some of these scenes, but there is something about them that I think was really good. Like Kew-Kew bargaining with himself on how many eagles Rolf had to help him catch.

Boy, the dream sequence, tho. One again, poor Rolf.

And of course Kew-Kew was confused about what "throwing a match" means. XD Seeing him juggling infants would be... a sight to be sure. :P Considering his version of flying is falling, I don't want to see him juggle something as fragile as babies. XD

Kew-Kew standing up for Rolf? Definitely a win. :D The part where he was threatening the one dude was absolutely hilarious! Those descriptions. XD

["your face is a little bloody- don't worry, we can fake that easily-"] Lol. This whole scene where Carrabas was explaining how the match will go was pretty good, imo. I liked his dialogue.

And this last scene... Ouch. Poor Ralph.

Happy writing to you!
10/29/2020 c9 Sebias of Redwall
Love this opening scene. The descriptions were spot on.

And... the bloodthirsty mole bard is also good at giving massages. Who would've known? XD A do feel like it gives Barrumtum a bit more character, even though it's just another aspect of his abilities (Singing obviously being one of his great strengths).

Heh. Nice little KFP references there with the acupuncture.

Getting thrown out of a singing troupe *would* be kinda traumatic. I mean, it's not like we know of any person in history who grew up to be a... shady character after he was thrown out of an art school . . . I now have concerns for Barrumtum. XD

And Kew-Kew just... pushes the locked door open? XD I love it!

Ralph is apparently a big fan of Kew-Kew? Noice. That could prove useful in the future.

...Poor Rolf. Getting chewed out by one's boss is never fun.
Carrabas, being the smart chap he is, has seen the great fighting potential that is Kew-Kew, which luckily turned his mood completely around. XD And also being the sneaky business-stoat he is, he knew just how to get Kew-Kew on his side.

Happy writing to you!
10/29/2020 c8 Sebias of Redwall
Lot's of nice little touches. Like, "He'll have milk." Considering what he'd be like drunk, I definitely see why this is said.
And... Kew-Kew doesn't fail to impress. I mean, not anyone can break the record of having the worst manners in such a fine establishment as The Barfing Bird... :P

[Says the wearet who thinks he's a bird... "Yes."] XD I love it.

Also, the raising the claw to the heavens bit is hilarious.

Ahhhh, nothing like a bard in a bar (Unless of course it was a brawling bard in ball. Then it's even better).

The majority of Kew-Kew's backstory is... kinda sad. Kew-Kew on a whole is quite the tragic character in a sense. Many things that he loved and knew was a lie, and he's still in fact living one of the said lies. That scene where he was trying to fly was just a little... heart-wrenching.

Poor Kali. XD I have similar thoughts of my own singing sometimes. I really enjoyed this whole scene with the build-up leading up to her singing, and then of course, the actual singing. :P I could possibly enjoy it less if I could, well, actually *hear* it, lol, but thankfully I can't.

Fuuuuunny story, I also wrote an app with a berserker mole. Much different than Barumtum, though. I diiid scrap the app, but who knows, I might still use the character somewhere. We'll have to see.

And of course, the cream of the chapter: the fight. XD Very good stuff here! Thoroughly enjoyable.

Happy writing to you!
10/27/2020 c12 6One-Eye the Wildcat
Press F to pay respects for Rolf.
10/16/2020 c11 22CasterWay
Oh, goodie. Even more new characters, Rolf getting into trouble, and Kew-Kew generally being a pain in the tail. I kinda sense a pattern here that reaches from Chapter 4... but onto the review I go.

I don't really know what to say about Madeline. We see that Carrabas owes almost everyone money, and that... we don't really know a lot about her, other than her being Kew-Kew's punching bag of the chapter. Seraphine and Oswald are quite fun to read, but they seem to be more like one-offs than Madeline. It would be a marvellous time to stop creating new characters and start developing old ones, and maybe let Kew-Kew experience character growth for the first time in 12 chapters. At least next chapter's finally setting up towards something...

Ralph's family, on the other paw, are rather interesting. Rodrick's the veteran fighter beasts know and love, and he seems like a good grandfather too, as shown in his conversation with Rolf; while Derrick's the bratty cousin. They carried this chapter.

In any case, I'm looking forward to what's coming out next chapter! Have a good time writing!
9/9/2020 c10 Warrior Of Legends
I don't think this story's synopsis lives up to what the story itself is. The first three chapters are something of an extended prologue, serving as half a piece of set up and half a character study on the eagle named Kew-Kew, and are without doubt the most fun I've had reading Redwall Fanfiction in a long time.

I don't think the subsequent chapters quite capture the same lightning-in-a-bottle blend of humour and character depth, and there is some flanderization at play- with Kew-Kew himself and with Margaret to a lesser extent. And I think a lot of that is because Kew-Kew takes a step backwards and now shares the protagonist role with Rolf. And the issue with that is that Rolf himself is nowhere near as compelling as Kew-Kew. He hasn't got the same kind of charm. And that's all there really is to those first three chapters. Kew-Kew is charming and Kew-Kew is fun and Kew-Kew is at the heart of it all. He carries the fic with sheer charisma. I missed the typos, ignored the very simple grammar. None of the technicals were particularly impressive. Some of the jokes fell flat. And none of that matters because I had eyes only for Kew-Kew.

I also want to add that Margaret is an excellent example of an antagonist that isn't a villain. If anything, Kew-Kew is far more evil than she is (one does question the moral implications of murdering eagles in a world where birds are sentient). But she's the one that sets the ball rolling and kick-starts the plot and provides all of the conflict. And yet, when she succeeds in her goal and convinces Kew-Kew that he is not an eagle, she does a three-sixty, turns around and allows him to continue living his daydream as long as it'll keep him happy. She is barely a character yet could not be a better character.

Please don't take this the wrong way, the rest of your chapters are still fun (Kew-Kew will never not be entertaining) and I really can't praise them enough, but the charm is missing. The magic's not there anymore. It feels, almost, like the sequel to a beloved film or a spin-off tv-series that, while good, never does quite reach the heights of it's predecessor.

The fic's flaws are many, especially post-Rolf where the chapters devolve into a sort of episodic format, and the prose is nothing special. I'm not entirely sure that, other than a few references sprinkled here and there, this even classifies as a Redwall fanfiction! Your pacing is all over the place, but generally far too slow, and I really think you ought to narrow down and focus on a smaller cast of characters rather than introducing a new player every few hundred words. Ralph, Carrabas, Alphonso... one begins to lose count :P I would also reccomend cutting down on some of the unecessary scenes, but that decision lies with you alone.

And with all that said I would reccomend this story, not just to fans of Redwall, but to fans of animal literature everywhere. I had a lot of fun reading through it and I can be very picky with my literature. It's fun, it's fresh, it's wild, it's Kew-Kew and I definetly look forwards to seeing where it goes!
8/28/2020 c10 CasterWay
Here we go, another chapter about Kew-Kew.

The wearet's kinda struggling with the concept of losing a match intentionally, being the adorably stupid mustelid he is. Rolf is doing some prodding, though Kew-Kew's tunnel vision and inability to understand a metaphor really doesn't help him.

We get to see even more of Rolf's self-esteem being crushed (as if he was some mouse-Fret), and Kew-Kew not caring about anything in the world in his quest for eagles. Sounds just like any other Kew-Kew chapter. But this time, we introduce Ralph's grandfather who may or may not show up, and with him more confusion may or may not be featured! That, and there's the Monty Python reference that didn't escape my gaze.

Hope next chapter improves on this one!
8/28/2020 c7 7Sebias of Redwall
Kew-Kew intro was hilarious. XD I love the part where Rolf catches the whiff of a familiar stench. Beautiful.
Lol. I like how Kew-Kew immediately assumes that everything he has been told is now a lie. Including but not limited to weight classes and divisions. :P
I think one of Kew-Kew's biggest ironies is that he gets very furious when creatures lie, or they believe something that is obviously false. Ironic, I say. XD

Aww. Rolf's memory is sad. Just an innocent little mouse setting off for fame and glory, only to realize that only it's a dog eat dog world. Or a rat beat a mouse world, I guess. :P
Gila the monitor was cool, though! I doubt we'll get to see more of him, but one can hope.
Wow. Yeah. Rolf believes that he is completely worthless without his false identity. I wanna give 'em a big ol' hug. :P I'm... curious what his arc will be in the end. Will he become a fighter? Will his family ever find out the truth? Will he realize his self worth?

Wait, TEN big eagles? My, that's a... big number. Hopefully Kew-Kew means ten big eagle plushies or something, lol.

Happy writing to you!
8/28/2020 c6 Sebias of Redwall
Lol. I love how Kew-Kew is just walking through the market like: "Oh, thank you, thank you. Yes, I'll have some of those." XD Those poor traders. Although, I guess they live in a somewhat rough town, so they should kiiiiinda expect things like that to happen.

Huh. That's cool that you got to incorporate Rolf's submission into this chapter. It fit very well, imo.

But now Kew-Kew knows Rolf's secret. ...Ooh, boy. It'll be interesting to see how *that* goes. From my knowledge, eagles aren't known for keeping secrets...
...or telling them either, I guess, but still. :P

Anywho, great stuff!

Happy writing to you!
7/23/2020 c8 22CasterWay
Kali! Finally she's here! Amazing indeed.

We get a flashback of Kew-Kew meeting Kali. So far, Kali is the only character who I can imagine being able to tolerate Kew-Kew's antics for any period of time that exceeds a week.

Then Kew-Kew asks Kali to sing. Things happen, a fight breaks out, Barrumtum enters the fray, and Rolf gets arrested. What happens to Kew-Kew isn't known, unfortunately, but we'll see. Does he escape? Is he imprisoned? Does Rolf finally give him the dressing-down he's been holding in for so long? Now, we wait until next chapter!
7/23/2020 c7 CasterWay
Wait... did Kew-Kew just *extort* Rolf?

Alright. Back to the beginning. So Kew-Kew realises that Rolf lost to Ralph and was lying to his family, and simply bursts in and threaten to tell everyone. Then we get to know a bit of Rolf's backstory, which is nice. He really didn't think things through, that mouse.

Then Kew-Kew kindly asks Rolf to help him catch eagles. Yay. I'm sure it's fun for Kew-Kew and less fun for everyone else.

I would say I'm waiting for next chapter, but I suppose my prayers have been answered before I make them. Still, happy writing!
7/22/2020 c8 11ferretWARLORD
Poor flying fox :(
7/13/2020 c5 7Sebias of Redwall
Plomplemoof? That is one heck of a name. :P I wonder what kind of beast would give a town that kind of a name. Especially this type of town.
It does seem like an interesting place for sure. Obviously similar to the one town in MO5 (Well... at least concerning the multiple arenas and such), but that was most likely intentional. The rest of it is pretty unique and grasps my attention. A wolverine lady selling plushies? . . . Who even thinks of that? XD So random and perfect.

The Barfing Bird Inn... Interesting name... I'm probably not the first to point that out, though. :P

Hmm... One thing about these chapters... There seems to be a thing with the spacing. Some gaps seem a tad bigger in places. I'm not sure if that's just my laptop or something, though. Just thought I'd mention it.

["Then, a voice that Kew-Kew had not expected or thought possible from a fat little ball of fur that was the hamster, echoed across the arena.
"FIGHT!"]
~I love this part. XD

Ouch. Poor Rolf. I mean... a lot has happened that makes me go 'poor Rolf', but this chapter adds a few more things to the ever growing pile.

Hanzaman's Hut? Someone was having fun with these names. XD

Happy writing to you!
7/13/2020 c4 Sebias of Redwall
Ahem. I knew I was behind on this, but it was a little more than I thought... If the reviews seem to blend in with each other, or I mention things in one chapter that took place before or after, you could safely assume it is because I have read all the chapters, but am now trying to review each one separately.

Aaaaaaaaanyway, I like this chapter. The introduction of Rolf was funny, and it got his character established. Rolf's family seem like the stereotypical family if you think about it, but I like each of their personalities and how they bounce off of each other as characters. Also, Barsh is a great name, methinks. XD Very fitting for his character. You could almosy get rid of the 'r' and just make it 'Bash'. :P

Speaking of Barsh... yeah, he's the annoying type of guy that no one wants above them in the pecking order. I sorta wish that he gets what is coming to him. :P Or have a change of heart or something like that, I guess. A tad more 'boring' but maybe better. I dunno. I'll let you figure that out. :P
I remember when I first read this, I had been a little confused with the Ralph/Rolf thing. I would mix up Ralph and Barsh. XD That was probably on my part, though.

Rolf's day dream reminding me a bit of Fret's in Black and White. Nice little callback (Is that the right word?) to that.

Lol. The sparring between Kew-Kew and Rolf was fun. I personally never doubted Kew-Kew's abilities (This guy hunts eagles, a mouse should be no problem, even if he was supposed to be a ring fighter), but it was still enjoyable for me. :)

Happy writing to you!
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