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for His Edith and her Arthur

1/30 c2 35Omnitrix 12
Not a bad chapter 2. You're beginning, as you promised, to fill in some of the gaps, and I like the attention to lore and back stories. Nice job writing in your own songs (although since you wanted constructive criticism, the meter could use a little work. You want the number of syllables in pairing lines to match, and a couple of times I don't think it did). It kind of reminds me of the Redwall books, which if you haven't read you should. I think you'd like them.

Your OCs are quite unique, but try not to overdo it there. The receptionist is a good example: if she works at the Palm Tree it's a bit unrealistic for her to dare be so unprofessional no matter whose kid was missing. At a place like that some schmook who thinks he or she owns the world is liable to walk in any minute. It would be another matter if she were part of the private staff in Ryder's apartment. Also, what's a reindeer doing working in Sahara Square?

The only other serious issue that I see is that Nick did in fact show pain describing the Junior Ranger Scouts Incident. It would have worked to say that it was nothing compared to his present reaction, but to deny a key scene of the movie altogether is a pretty big mistake.
1/9 c1 Omnitrix 12
Hmm. An interesting setup, especially if this is leading where I think it is. I've seen one or two fics like this before, but none where the vixen lived so well-off. That could make things difficult for Nick. I see a couple of holes in the plot too, but nothing that can't be fixed. Consider me intrigued.
12/13/2020 c4 Noel23
After reading both stories, I have to say I like this version slightly better. The other had a little bit to much side details. and this one showed rider as more of an innocent/naive kid. Also question, in the movie Nick's mom had red fur and possibly no father, was it intentional? Thank you:)
8/10/2020 c4 Guest
Such revelations.

Now Nick and Kathleen can work things out. I bet she will see Nick is no longer the tod she once knew, that he has matured and become wiser.
8/9/2020 c4 Guest
Oh my Goodness! You leave us on such a cliff hanger. I know your life will be busy, but I cannot wait till the next chapter. Brilliant again.
8/10/2020 c4 RazGrizz
what a great chapter! I need to know what happens next asap! Haha
8/9/2020 c4 20J Shute
Hmmm. Well they meet, and it seems we're gonna get the big backstory dump very soon.

Good chapter. Nice job.
8/9/2020 c4 imjustlikehumphery
Great chapter isaiah, keep it up! Kathleen might be a pain in the tail as far as Judy's concerned but it's good that she's with her given how she pacified Nick. Pretty fortunate that the same lullaby that did this to Nick in the first place is the one that cures him from his night terrors. Now that he's found and awake I wonder what's gonna be said between Nick, Judy and Kathleen? Can't wait for the next chapter!
8/9/2020 c4 32Fox Keyblader Illusions Angel
Take all the time you need for fanfictions like this are worth the wait. Base off more of Kathleen personality Katheryn wouldn't like her. Would be so upset that someone like her would have a yellow sunflower for she's the opposite of yellow and sunflowers hahahaha. Aww Ryder so see and has great middle name. Clever but still a bad way to hid a key for criminals expect that for hiding a key. Nick really needs to speak to therapist about his night terrors. Especially if they're that bad. If ZPD finds out that could cost him his job. For being tired he could get innocent mammals hurt. But I do imagine him being a heavy sleeper. Judy being a light one in her household that makes sense haha. I can't wait to see his full reaction once he's really awake. Also can't wait to see how their story is. One these days I would like to see Nick having a past girlfriend and she has a kit but it turns out the kit not his but he stills bonds with said kit naturally. Those I still love the day of Nick being a father without knowing. Those unless he's was somehow bad in the relationship Kathleen is a terrible mammal for not letting Nick into his son life. As long as someone not bad they deserve to be in their kids life. I can't wait to see how this story unfolds.
8/9/2020 c4 1aomagrat
This chapter brings up a lot of questions. I am eagerly awaiting the answers! Great chapter!
7/28/2020 c3 32Fox Keyblader Illusions Angel
Another great chapter and can't read more of this wonderful story. I feel bad for Nick then a little of me doesn't. He's in character totally but still don't cut off those who truly care about you. Everyone has a breaking point and doing so will you'll end up in alone. Sure we all need breaks but it's the right thing to tell your loved one they need time alone. Nick has great parents and I love them a lot. I feel bad what Nick went through and no one should go through that. Base of his parents reaction I believe where Ryder character going to go. Those I have to read more to be sure. Also Chief Bogo in character and I believe in the end Nick going to feel bad the way he treated his loved ones. I wouldn't want to be rich just have a living to live modestly so I don't have to worry. Also won't live in penthouse scared of heights haha. I can imagine Kathleen perfectly and I was surprised to find out his mother name. You would know about Katheryn. She would love to meet a fellow Catherine. Those she would be upset she would like Kathleen Ivory. For she would want to friends with very Catherine. From little we know about Kathleen she would be a polar opposite of Katheryn. Those myself I like Kathleen a lot and can't wait to see more of her character. Oh a nice cliff hanger and I can't wait to find out their story. Katheryn would never hurt Nick that way and I can't to see how Kathleen did.
7/28/2020 c2 Fox Keyblader Illusions Angel
I can feel their pain being stuck in traffic or a long car ride. I remember being on a long ride and there was a car fire. Anyway I love the history of foxes and the songs. I can imagine Nick being a good singer for Jason is apparently. Also I wondering why you had that title and it's great. I wonder why Nick had that episode and can't wait to find out. Strange and out of place harsh outbrust from Nick to Ryder but that sometimes happens. We're mad or sad sometimes without knowing why. Can't wait find out wait to find out why. Judy will help out for sure and once she has something in mind she wouldn't stop.
7/27/2020 c1 Fox Keyblader Illusions Angel
Off to great start and I'm enjoying this. I can see Nick hating paperwork haha. Holly is a lovely name for Mrs. Wilde. I wonder what her name will be and what she looks like. All we know she's a loving mother to Nick. Also makes us wonder what happened to John Wilde and what they could plan with him. Judy would be fast and hard to beat haha. To be Nick was being sarcastic when he said he said that he knew everyone. Logically he couldn't for Zootopia would be large city and very little people can stay they know everyone in their town. Also I like Ryder right away and he's one of the lucky foxes who doesn't have to worry about being homeless. Working with Gazelle would be great. I can't wait to see how this all unfolds.
7/23/2020 c3 Guest
What a twist.
7/22/2020 c3 Guest
Oh wow. I'm so happy you're back with this. And boy, what a revelation. This is intriguing. Well done & thank you.
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