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for Assassin's Creed 3: Unity

11/23/2020 c26 6The Blackjack
Sort of pedantic, but Belgium wasn't independent in 1790.

Alas, delivery boy.

Lots of pronoun game in the letter. Not that I'm complaining. I love obtuse coded letters.
11/23/2020 c24 The Blackjack
This is a nice little dialogue. Some nice asides to description.

Is Keesh supposed to be Quiche?
10/26/2020 c23 The Blackjack
There are a couple naturalistic descriptions here, with a butterfly and squirrel. I think you could spend a beat longer to get a deeper impact. Just a sentence describing the wings or maybe the mood of the squirrel keeps the reader in a bit closer and paints a more vivid picture.

The 'de' in Champs de Mars is lowercase. de is almost always lowercase in French.

What a fun little rabbithole looking into Thomas Paine. Apparently he almost got the chop by Robespierre. TIL.
10/26/2020 c22 The Blackjack
Is the part with women not being used commonly as assassins canon? I picked up Odyssey on a sale, but my computer refuses to get any reasonable FPS with it. I found Kassandra hard to maintain a suspension of disbelief (since the Greeks were probably as sexist a society that you could find in the ancient Mediterranean) and I wonder how the other games treated it.

I lived in Wisconsin for a stretch, so whenever I read Favre estate I thought of Brett Favre. I don't even follow football. I'm such a historical fraud.

Somewhat abrupt ending. Might use a sentence considering the implications of the apples or even a kind of descriptive change.
10/7/2020 c21 The Blackjack
Back into a framing and and exposition sequence, in the lovely Loire valley.

Porcelain / china was a very luxurious status item in the eighteenth century, so it could have a line of description to reenforce Augustin's status

If Bellec really wanted to be super brusque, the s'il vous plait could be downgraded to a s'il te plait or something like a maintenant. The vous is formal.
10/7/2020 c20 The Blackjack
Ah, well, modern day went by pretty fast, didn't it? Almost feels like there's a missing piece between the ambush and this scene. Seems like he's unhappy with it, but it'd be nice to see a bit more about his mindset there.

Back to the past.
9/2/2020 c18 The Blackjack
Mostly exposition here, but I like the banter with Desmond and Lucy, or perhaps more accurately on Desmond's side. It's always good to thread in characterization like that even when moving the plot from point A to point B.

Looks like Modern Times is a shorter arc, and then it's back to the past.
9/2/2020 c17 The Blackjack
Hey, it's Modern Times. Desmond's mind leaves plague ridden Revolutionary France to our plague ridden present. Don't tell me otherwise, that's headcanon now.

I can't imagine that Desmond wouldn't have heard of the Illuminati, since that's like the biggest conspiracy theory even certified normies are familiar with. Unless they have some kind of different role in the AC world?

Was Jorpin there from the start? Might have a couple more sentences either describing the people or the surroundings in more detail, since it seemed a little abrupt.
8/1/2020 c16 The Blackjack
Ah okay, I read this several times. I thought Elise was shot in the abdomen last chapter, but on reread it missed. I didn't quite make that out and I kept thinking "boy, she's calm for possible intestinal damage."

Last 1789 chapter, and it seems like a slightly abrupt place to end, but we'll see how the next few chapters go.
6/28/2020 c14 The Blackjack
Strange to root against Templars, but I have too much Thermidor in me to do otherwise.

Maybe this isn't in the source material, but I noticed there isn't a lot of French in the story itself. For example, the bartender says "Yeah", which in English looks a bit colloquial and a tad modern. But he might've been pronouncing "Oui" as "Ouias", which would fit the time and setting. Some words, mostly titles come across, and too much French would be jarring in it's own right, but it was a thought.

Sort of odd Elise, having been in confidence with a lot of important individuals, wouldn't know dirt on Antoinette.

I was actually interested in more of Elise's time in Normandy. Might've been nice to add a couple more sentences here in the ruminations in the middle and the end.
5/27/2020 c13 The Blackjack
The incorruptible Robespierre himself! You switch a couple times from Maximilien to Robespierre in describing him. I wonder if it's intentional at all.

Otherwise, from the table of contents, it looks like we'll be catching up with modern times soon.
4/26/2020 c11 The Blackjack
Poor old ancien regime nobles. All they ever wanted to do was live in luxury and generally not care about 95% of the population. Is that really so bad? Who is the real monster, I ask you.

The death dialogue seems a bit video game-y, but perhaps it's lifted from AC?

I liked the firing descriptions. Nice little turns of phrase in there.
4/14/2020 c8 The Blackjack
I think it moves a bit too quickly here. We call the assassination marvelous, but there's not enough detail in it to stick. As it, when I read it I thought it was purposely abrupt to get at a kind of ad hoc and brutal nature, but apparently it's more coordinated.

I dunno how the Hotel de Ville looked during the revolution, but a lot of what we think of when we think of Paris was put up by Napoleon III, but I guess it was probably pretty big.

My inner Burkean always has trouble rooting for the revolutionaries, but it would be a bad Bastille Day if I didn't at least try.
4/14/2020 c6 The Blackjack
Good old revolutionary fervor.

If I'm being pedantic (and if there is one thing I'm pedantic about, it's history), the ancient regime's representative body was the Estates-General. Parliament was used by the Hated British.
2/24/2020 c4 The Blackjack
I remember writing characters with accent marks in their names. The cedilla is a pain, but it gives a certain je-ne-sais-quoi to the story.

I'm still pretty unversed in AC, but I am still very versed in history.

The one nitpick I have is 'mote'. Mottes are actually raised parcels of land, while moats are the water surrounding a keep. Picky, I know, but I just can't turn that part of my brain off, sorry.

Chapters seem pretty short, which I think will keep it a quick read. I'm guessing it's set in the French Revolution (given the date and all the Frenchies). Good times. Maybe I'll play more AC, one day, but until then why not plow ahead with what we've got, eh?

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