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12/17 c26 James Birdsong
Excellent two chapters of course
12/11 c24 James Birdsong
Maybe great
11/27 c1 ladyashengray
I really like this fanfic, it has so much potential and a lot to offer. The pandemic setting is very timely and inspires interest. The world building is great and there's lots of nice detail. I think what would make this fanfic truly amazing would be better pacing and some contractions. I don't know anyone that speaks without using contractions, but your hero's tend to do that and it gives the dialog a stiff unnatural feel. If you wanted to do it for effect that would be fine. Zelda's being raised to be a politician, it might be natural for her to speak more formally. But link is a country boy, it doesn't work for him. As far as pacing goes I would recommend reading 'the emperor's soul', or the 'mistborn' series. Both are by Brandon Sanderson, and of all the writers out there his pacing just really hits a sweet spot. The problem with your pacing, I feel, is that Zelda thinks too much, or perhaps to verbosely. She's wisdom, it's okay for her to be a thinker, but it's also okay to imply thinking sometimes rather then always bringing your reader along for the ride; especially during fight scenes or other high adrenaline moments. Good luck with this! You're creating something amazing, and you are amazing too! Happy holidays.
10/27 c2 20Draconic
This story is terrifically eerie. When I stared reading, I’ll admit I was expecting the undead, but your ability to craft an atmosphere of pure isolation is masterful. It kinda makes me curious about how you might handle a Metroid fic.

Looking forward to what comes next.
I’m an extremely critical reviewer. I usually write negative reviews. You’ve REALLY impressed me.
10/18 c7 James Birdsong
Good three chapters
10/9 c4 James Birdsong
Maybe beautiful

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