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7/20 c14 Joshua Graham
We can’t expect God to do all the work
*click*
6/30 c14 Simyymis
More plz
6/30 c14 Guest
Damn this sure does slap
5/29 c13 2maxikeeper234
Amazing story! I can't wait to see what happens next with Arthur. _
5/21 c13 Crowbars357
Quick! Steal your shadow’s glasses!
5/21 c3 Guest
"You must achieve salvation.“
*Joshua Graham appears with glowing eyes*
5/8 c13 Kabuto S. Inferno
I'll admit, a part of me does feel a little weird to be reviewing this particular chapter, considering my personal hand (nominal as my interactions may have been) in the overall construction of the uploaded final result - though I imagine other editors on here (or otherwise) often get that feeling themselves from time to time. Regardless, leaving blunted or long-winded reviews is what I do on here, so I suppose that's a sensation I'll just have to get used to.

That, and I thankfully have the time today to oblige the request lol. So without further meandering my part, let's get to it.

1.) Story & Characters: On this particular front, I certainly feel the overall "story" itself has come a long way in effectively balancing the perspectives of other characters (chiefly the Maruki section of this chapter, along with Arthur's brief interaction with fluffy Haru), and the otherwise deeply-isolated and introspective nature of Arthur - a dynamic contrast which, I feel, happens to be something of a primary theme for this particular chapter, even if it is slightly unintentional. Instead of being the guiding force that Ren often tends to be, gathering people around him like moths to a flame, our main protagonist here - through his own personal efforts, and the wills of others - is desperately trying to avoid being a "face" for other people to easily recognize, a character whom many of his fellow peers might come to associate with many negative and positive attributes, even if most of them are gravely misplaced. And it's an understandable reaction, seeing as how his chance to "escape" the past and start his life over relatively "anew" ended up being a complete waste of time with the student body inevitably getting a hold of his previous suicide attempts and mental breaks. It makes sense, even with the acknowledgement of Himura and Ann - and all the other Velvet Room-related phenomena going on.

Pragmatically speaking, Arthur doesn't want people to know him (sans those scant few characters who are already acquainted with him) because it'll not only cause him more trouble in the long run, but also those who choose to briefly associate with him. The rumors would just never end, as stated by the man himself. Emotionally speaking, however, Arthur doesn't want people to know him due to his own innate bad experiences with other human beings prior to his arrival in Japan - the times he shared with his parents (and ultimately what led him down the path he's currently on), the absence of many, if not any true friends, the outright abandonment of teachers he likely respected, the complete disbarment of hobbies which kept him functionally sane, and probably much more. If anything, Arthur methodically uses (like I mentioned before in my last review) the excuses of "logic" and "pragmatism" as a way of shielding his conscious mind from his own subconscious insecurities, that deep-seeded kernel of distrust, fear, and expectation he must have of other people, and especially of himself: A personality that might potentially prove itself to be his own worst enemy should something truly ever rattle him again, as it had so many times before. It's a way to cope, in short.

That doesn't mean Arthur is completely opposed to the idea of reaching out to others, even if he tries to veil it under the lens of being inevitably forced to help or interact with said individuals. A pretty valid example of this, I believe, is his relatively short interaction with Haru in this chapter. Nothing compelled him to help out the cinnamon bun of a character that is Haru when she dropped all of her stuff in the rain, no one was twisting his arm to go out of his way to ensure one of the soon-to-be Phantom Thieves, a character he barely knows (at the time), actually stays dry on her way home (wherever that may have been) during a heavy downpour by giving her his only umbrella - no greater supernatural force influenced him to act in a way completely ill-befitting of someone who claims to be a student of logic and pure thought. Yet, that's exactly what he did. Arthur may have framed the whole situation, and its outcome, under the guise of tactical thought, a way to better his status among his fellow Shujin students, but that's a fat load of shit - and anyone could see that. Man just wanted to help a girl that was in trouble, plain and simple. But the fact he can't outright admit that to himself is, to me, perhaps yet another perfect example of how at war Arthur might be with his own past experiences. With his own "Shadow", if you will ;)

Though another standout moment for me would be with Doctor Maruki and the principal. Can't really add too much details here, since the long and short of this portion is that I simply liked how intrinsically opposed both of their characters were as people. One is an earnestly "good guy" who can't seem to catch a break in life, while the other is man so scared of virtually any sort of bad publicity that he's willing to intentionally ignore signs of shady shit going on in the school under his nose if it means Shujin gets known for its prestige" rather actually dealing with its budding problems. Well, at least until he decided to finally do something - just to end up getting offed by a certain politician. But yeah, I just generally liked the flow and character interactions of that particular section of the chapter.

2.) Writing & Structure: Honestly, structure has rarely ever been a problem with this Fan Fiction, so that continues to be a major plus for me. As for writing, aside from what I helped to fix/contribute to, your overall prose is certainly shining through in this chapter. This especially true towards the end, where I can tell you were really getting in the "mood". If you can successfully carry that on through towards the next chapter entry, and the ones following that, then I believe you'll be absolutely golden in regards to "your" perfected writing style. By that point, I imagine you won't need me for too much editing lol.

Overall, I'm glad to see this story updated after a prolonged period of silence. I'm looking forward to the next chapter, whenever ya get around to that.

Good luck.

Sincerely,

Kabuto S. Inferno.
4/3 c12 Guest
The Karen’s natural weakness is the Based Chad Manager. No amount of Reee-ing can compel him
3/8 c11 2CarameltPud
Thank you for updating! Your update gives me much joy and what you give, is what you get back. I hope you'll get as much joy as you've given us readers with your story
2/22 c11 Kabuto S. Inferno
Nice to see the usage of Czech in this come-back chapter, considering what you mentioned previously (and in the AN) about learning some of the language recently. Don't know if it's correct or not, but hey, the effort is clear lol. I also could have sworn there was a minor sentence break-up nearing the beginning of this chapter, but considering the time I originally viewed this (2 in the morning), and the fact that I can no longer find it, I guess I must have been imagining things. Thankfully, in this case.

Well, what else can I really say other than that I'm glad to see this fanfiction on the move once again? The wait was a bit long, but such is the path of life; it can shuffle more than a deck of cards, and leave you just as equally underhanded in the same breathe. Doesn't mean you should ever fold until the game is over. But enough of that random online philosophy.

Gotta say though, you've got me pretty interested in the new characters. Can't recall if they were ever featured in Royal (I admittedly have only ever watched walkthroughs of that one, since I decided to spend my money on FF7: Remake rather that the former), but I get the feeling weren't - which, in turn, should make their eventual inclusion('s) all the more intriguing, since I get the feeling they might not become Phantom Thieves themselves. Probably an over-stretch on my part, but call it a hunch. In any case, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter. Even more so now, considering Arthur's unofficial deadline is drawing ever closer - and with it, the pain that's likely to come from him confronting his internal demons.

Good luck, and see ya next time.
2/21 c11 1Entitled24
Glad to see you're back.

Take care of yourself though.
11/26/2020 c10 Kabuto S. Inferno
Well, this have been quite the read thus far, that's for sure. I don't normally bother with reading a lot of Persona-based fanfictions these days; far too many unoriginal premises and characters for me to actively bother with, let alone give them the time or day to waste away what precious energy I still have left on 'em. Likewise, I don't usually leave too many reviews on this particular side of . There's likely only three stories I've actually ever left reviews for when it comes to solely Persona-based fanfictions - so understand that this is something of a rarity for me. Not like the word of some stranger matters much in regards to the internet, but this is my position.

With that all said, I am rather glad to have randomly come across this interesting gem. The premise itself, "Insert foreign character here, let x shenanigans ensue", is rather par for the course; yet, the execution and the overall main character himself are the two literary elements which both equally intrigue and excite me the most. Point 1: The fact that Arthur, a man who we, as the audience, can only assume is NOT a Wild Card based on Igor's brief interaction('s) with him (and the lack of attendants, which is possibly a hint in of itself), is still being constantly summoned to the Velvet Room despite lacking the Fool's Arcana. An interesting development as far as most post P3 Fanfictions are concerned, though one (and rather admittedly so) even more impressive if both the writer and the reader take into account similar circumstances often occurring during the in-game events of both P1 and P2 (IS and EP). It's something most newcomers to the Persona series generally fail to take personal note of, though that's usually out of sheer ignorance rather than willful incomprehension. Will be intriguing to see what you do with this particular development in the future. Point 2: Arthur is, clearly, a character of many psychological scars and persisting issues that unabashedly refuse to leave him - no matter where he is in the world (such is the curse of personal demons). Problems that a simple "you go get 'em tiger!" approach to life won't easily solve, if at all. Nor will the (moderately) cold, logical detachment he often seems to display during instances where he feels his emotions might get the better of him - for all he's doing in those particular scenarios is just bottling up his inner thoughts which will, in the long run, eventually explode outwards when he can't handle them anymore. And that always happens at the worst possible of times. So I imagine his future "Salvation", if I may be so bold as to theorize, is going to be one of tempered acceptance; the slow crawl to acknowledging the events which ultimately rendered him as the person he currently is, and working to move beyond them. For someone like Arthur, no solution is going to be instantaneous - but he'll still receive one, in the end. That's how I look at it, at least.

Another thing that I greatly appreciate with this fanfiction is the Gaiden aspect. It's pretty fresh as idea, as far as Persona fanfictions are concerned. Helps to further expand the world around our protagonists, rather than solely learning about everything through their eyes alone. Can't wait to see more of 'em.

Anyways, that's all I got. I'll be sure to keep an eye on this from now on. Good luck on the next chapter. And don't worry about taking things slow. Trust me when I say this: The steady buildup just makes the narrative pay-off all that more exhilarating to read. Always does for me.
11/10/2020 c1 Guest
Please have your OC to kill joker since joker are sooooo weak hahahahaha
10/27/2020 c9 14InfernoKnightmare
Oh boy so Arthur is going to get his persona in Kaneshiro's palace just like Makato does. You wouldn't have tied Himura into having a connection to Kaneshiro if you weren't gonna do it. I mean in the game you bring him down because he's a Yakuza boss and he put a three million yen price on not showing the evidence of them being in his establishment to the police. So Arthur being apart of the phantom thieves during Kaneshiro's palace makes the most sense as it wipes clean the debt Himura has and the blackmail money on the phantom thieves civilian personas.
10/9/2020 c4 1Entitled24
I'm liking this pacing, do keep up the good work. I am anticipating more. Keep up the good work!

Just remember! A tragedy doesn't make a tragedy, the readers make it one. Give us time to get use to the characters- get attached, then hit us with a few things, repeat, and then FULL SWING to get maximum effect. Don't blow everything you got really early. Take it slow, pace yourself, and it will reward you.
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