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for Jack, Ralph, and Piggy- A lord of the flies oneshot

11/29/2020 c1 2k+Hawki
-"...another one." I said.

Should be a comma after "one," not a full stop. You repeat this type of error more than once.

-Aside from that...um, okay, I'm going to try and avoid the shipping 'thing,' but it does raise a potentially interesting plot point, the idea that Ralph might not want to leave the island due to conflicting emotions. So nice touch there.
11/4/2020 c1 Ralph fan 69420
Big poggs

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