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for Afar from Home, all alone

12/20 c8 Guest
There a mistake in "yound soldier" part at the beggining. Oh and the trasistion thing is kinda confusing. It would be nice if you state the transition like 'Kei. Lastation bassilicom. 3 day after the raid'
Then 'Linda. Somewhere in Lowee. 2 day after the raid'.
Oh and if there is other oc appearing. Its better you give us minimally their name or designation though with their profession is nice but not necesarry. To make it less confusing.

But overall it was quite good and got me hooked. Not to mention we dont have to wait 3 month for a new chapter.

(How far would his journey going?. Is it gonna continue even after the ending of the game?)
12/21 c8 6Porpol
So I binged the entire story and wanted to write a review. Alright. Here goes.

Starting with something positive, I actually really like some of the ideas here. Some might be a bit cliché, I'm actually pleasantly surprised to see some original ideas as well. An OC on the villain's side in Neptunia is not something you see every day. Even if it was through deceit, I wouldn't be surprised if our boy Gyone wound up liking this side... Though, I somehow doubt that is where you'd actually take the story. It would be interesting, yes, but I can't see how you'd make it work.

Onto something else. You already know that some of your characters were a bit OOC at the start, but it did seem to improve with every chapter. So kudos to you.

Next up, I do want to point something else out. Every scene feels... a bit short and rushed. I get that this isn't a massive project that would reach a million words by next year. But some scenes just shouldn't exist either, they're so short. I would advise you to look into what your focus-points are when writing the story. You can really do this story justice if you make certain scenes feel like they matter more. One such scene would be the second battle between Uni and Gyone. A bit more build-up to their battle and maybe a few more emotions described and I'd actually would consider it a high-light of the entire fic. Even if the battle scenes are a bit stale. But, honestly, for a first fic, they are pretty fine.

All in all, I think you're doing really well! I'll definitely tune in for the next chapter. Happy Holidays, alright? ;)
12/16 c8 flitterflux
This fic is gonna get juicy when mc-kun has his "are we the baddies?" moment.
12/10 c7 Guest
This guy gonna bring a lot of heat to the ASIC
12/10 c7 Guest
Test test
It seems my previous comment doesnt appear in the reviews
12/9 c7 Guest
"Hey Linda. Remember that idiot back in lastation?. Well you wont gonna believe what hes doing"
12/9 c6 Guest
Imagine Linda and Warechu reaction when they heard
That back in Lastation "someone" raid the bassilicom and stole a chunk of sharicite.
And the fact that he is seen with an ASIC agent before would make things "interesting".
Totally hyped for more.
12/9 c7 Ace-Of-Weeb
Beefcake is a C rank guild member eh? Kinda expect him to be at least a B rank from how you describe him. Didn't expect the fight with the head chef though.

And damn, Uni could've died if she wasn't a Candidate.

Judging from the damage the MC had done, Kei would be really pissed off with Chika when the cat is out of the bag.

Overall, the heist is a success and we're off to Lowee now.
12/4 c6 1Moonlit Dreamr
Definitely an amazing story and I cant wait for the next chapter.
12/3 c6 Ace-Of-Weeb
Oh boy, the mad man gonna do it. Ah yes, infiltrating the nation's main government building and swiping an artifact that is vital to the nation and the CPU's survival, what could possibly go wrong?
11/17 c5 Guest
I got a feeling hes not the only one from our world to get isekaied to gamindustri in the future. Oh yeah about the whole isekai thing.
1,what was the cause of it?
he ever get home?. If so. Is it him going to home or home going to him?. And what i mean by home is well our world.
11/16 c5 flitterflux
Is it time for best boy Brave? MC-kun could use a bro, and Brave is such a cool guy.
11/16 c5 Ace-Of-Weeb
A decent chapter, the only thing that a bit iffy to me is how Linda escaped from the Candidates. Kinda way too easy, but then again she managed to retreat the same way in the game, so I don't mind it that much. Aww, Linda cares about him, could've left him to the Candidates but she saved him anyway. I'm looking forward to how he will infiltrate the Lastation Bassilicom and deal with the oracle. And, didn't expect the Anonydeath cameo.
11/9 c4 Ace-Of-Weeb
Can't wait to see his reaction when he finally realizes he's being used by Linda.
11/2 c2 Ent
The problem is the website. The app is fine, but the website is being weird. This is happening to everybody btw

That aside, this was a nice chapter. Personally I’m hoping that this entire fanfic won’t be about the poor guy getting duped into getting into some evil shit. A part of me is hoping that he’ll be able to use common sense to get out of his admittedly shitty situation.

Also, I find it strange that he’s willing to doom an entire nation just cause he got caught stealing from some weapons shop. (It ain’t the end of the world man!) Okay, I know that you said that the plot will hardly hold itself together but I’m really hoping he’ll be able to realize what he’s about to do is really dumb, or at the very least look back at the situation one day and realize all the other options he could of took. Other then that, this is a pretty solid story so far!
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