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10/22/2020 c1 12HoistTheColours
Okay, so you already know all of my thoughts on this piece, but I'll just share a little bit of what I've already said.

Overall, this is DELICIOUS. I love these thoughts Harley is having. How she's agitated thinking about him coming to her in the dead of the night, needing to touch her or inspire a fresh wave of fear, whatever it was he was trying to accomplish, I love that she acknowledges she also feels "juiced up" and "alive" for the first time since she left him after their fight. I love that. This behavior/thought process is so incredibly indicative of victims of abuse, the way Harley is thinking about how much she missed this excitement, the fire that he lights in her belly. I love the moment when she has to grip the edge of the bathroom counter to try and "ground" herself. I love him having this very physical affect over her and he's not even there to witness it. This is his power.

"I remember the heady taste of that sort of freedom, the intoxicating sense of relief that comes with finally relinquishing control" and "I can't bear the thought of slipping that conformity mask back on, of spending the rest of my life pretending this sickness doesn't feed me just as much as it kills me." —These sentences are both absolutely gorgeous. That paragraph about her own self-awareness of the situation and how she /knows/ it's bad/wrong (love the bit where she's like, "I was a psychiatrist, for Christ's sake") is so incredibly telling of her mental state, and I love that you drive this self-awareness home even more, a bit farther down, when she thinks, 'I hate that he has this kind of power. I hate that some part of me likes it.' BINGO. That's brilliant.

I love that she actively wants to find something in her search as she ransacks the room. And her consequent realization that he also wants her to ransack/be driven mad by his earlier wraith-like presence — and that she's played right into what he wants — is so deliciously satisfying as much as it maddening. You feel all of these conflicting emotions right alongside of her. She doesn't want to give into him, but it's almost like she can't help it, which she even admits to. I do really like that you've given Harley this agency — she knows she's being manipulated, but I love that you have her point this out. She's like, "Of course I know exactly what's going on." But she still finds herself eating the morsels he feeds her straight from the palm of his hand. Ah!

I really appreciate this take on her characterization as well because Harley IS smart. I think the Joker did manipulate her in the beginning, but I like that you give her this agency: she knows EXACTLY what she's doing and who she's with. But she's so hungry chasing after him/freedom that she doesn't care. THAT'S a Harley I love and can stand behind.

Great job, and well done! Thank you for writing and for sharing!

Sincerely
HoistTheColours

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