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for Tempest’s Confession

12/31/2020 c2 4TangerineTheRainwing
Well that happened oddly quick. Never seen a relation happen so fast... GO PEACE
12/31/2020 c1 TangerineTheRainwing
I absolutely love it! I love the idea of this story! It is so awesome reading other peoples fanfics
12/28/2020 c1 WingsofFireFan
Hello, I've been reading and I came across your story. Every page I turned I got deeply interested with your story. I love how you made both Seawing and Icewing have different personalities. (Witch I'm not good at doing that.) Keep up your great effort!

-Fan of your Fiction

WingsofFireFan:3
12/29/2020 c11 5GloriousMagicDeathSpit
I'm sorry for you.
12/29/2020 c9 6Warrior of Spectra
Before, I did not take issue with you having characters similar to mine. However, this chapter reads word for word as one chapter in Finding Peace. From the Winglet placement reactions to the meeting of the Winglet and the MudWing and SandWing getting in trouble with Clay and Tsunami. It is one thing to gain inspiration from a story, but another to copy it word for word with no permission from the writer.

I will be reporting your story. If you have done this in the Wings of Fire fandom, then it's likely you have done it to others.
12/28/2020 c1 Warrior of Spectra
Your fic definitely caught my eye while I was scrolling through Fanfiction this morning, and I admit your character names were what drew my attention. When I read the fic, and I noticed you thought of this story while reading Finding Peace, I admit I am honored.

I notice in some reviews that some users say that you should ask my permission before using Tempest and Ermine. However: After brief readings of your Tempest and Ermine, I can say I don't think you really need my permission for anything. Granted our Tempests are similar backgrounds, they don't seem to hail from similar bloodlines. Ermine is especially different from mine. In this story, she is nervous and an Animus, while mine is a workaholic who has a bright future as a scholar. Names are not an issue, as the only canon character named Tempest in WoF is Commander Tempest and she...well...met a swift end in Assassins. And the only Ermine in Canon is a background character in Arc 2, we don't even know who they are aside from their name.

Now, the most important thing I want to talk about: Your story.

It has a good premise. In Arc 2, Peacemaker is "Predicted" to fall in love with someone related to the blacksmith in the NightWing village. Peacemaker falling for someone who is outside of Moon's "Happy ending" vision for him is an interesting idea. Because it puts into question the validity of her vision. Anything that puts a detour in Moon's vision is good, in my opinion, because it opens the door to future uncertainty for Moon and everyone who knows the truth about Peacemaker's origins.

While your premise is really good, there is a lot of stuff I think you need to work on. I love your enthusiasm for writing, I see you have a lot of interesting ideas in your profile. However, your chapters in this story are short. Now, short chapters are not bad. But here, there is so much happening in these chapters. Sometimes it feels like I am missing important moments. In my opinion, and my opinion only, I think your story would benefit from longer scenes and chapters that give the reader a chance to understand the setting and to expand on critical scenes. You do explain what happens between scenes, but not in a lot of depth.

For example: In Chapter 2, you have Tempest ask Peacemaker on a date, but it's only in passing. While it's good to have some scenes be summarized, I feel important scenes like that deserve focus and should be fleshed out. If the story is about Tempest confessing to Peacemaker, then to gloss over that could be disappointing to future readers who want to be invested in the story.

My advice: is to take one story at a time and plan them out. Take your time with your story, start from the beginning, and work your way up. Build the world you have imagined in your head because you are the only one who can.

All in all, I think you have interesting ideas and I hope you do continue to write and expand on them. I look forward to seeing what you do in the future!
12/27/2020 c8 Theghostinmybasement
Great chapter!
12/27/2020 c7 Theghostinmybasement
Did you accidentally post an old chapter from one of your other stories?
12/27/2020 c6 Theghostinmybasement
O- oh, why would you need my help?
12/26/2020 c5 Theghostinmybasement
Ha! I was wondering if they were going to show up!
12/26/2020 c4 Theghostinmybasement
Great Chapter!
12/25/2020 c3 Theghostinmybasement
They're still in the rainforest right? Cus I'm pretty sure it doesn't snow in the rainforest. Either way, amazing chapter!
12/25/2020 c2 Theghostinmybasement
Oh WOW, I really did not expect you to see my comment, let alone DEDICATE the the chapter to ME! Thank you! And you're welcome!
12/25/2020 c1 Theghostinmybasement
I LOVE this! I hope you can continue!

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