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for A Credit to the British Uniform

12/28/2020 c1 71snooky-9093
I really liked the use of Hogan's POV here. Writing in first person is not an easy task.

Crittendon's final parting words are an insult-and the opposite of what we would expect from the bumbling British officer played by Bernard Fox. For despite his behavior and exploits, he never seemed cruel, and his actions are worth a second look.

Hogan's actions, thoughts and words stand out here. He realizes how important class distinctions are (sadly still in effect) and how that can wear down even the strongest soul. He feels a gut punch at not being seen as anything but one of those officers, rather than someone Newkirk can trust. I feel empathy for Newkirk, but I also feel it for Hogan as well, as he tries so hard to work with Newkirk and make him see he is more than just a Cockney who stutters.

Brava.
12/15/2020 c1 28Abracadebra
Crittendon's comment that Newkirk was "a disgrace to the British uniform" always struck me as very harsh. So brava for looking at how it would have landed, especially when directed by a high-ranking officer to a lowly corporal.

It's a very moody piece of writing, which very neatly captures what I think IS Newkirk's personal existential crisis: Is he a worthless crook or a brave and honorable solider? And does he deserve respect and friendship? The answers are B and Yes, but he's definitely not convinced, even though in your previous story on this theme, he DID seem to have a little sense of his own worth.

A first-person narrative by Hogan isn't the easiest thing to pull off, but you did it. He tries everything- praise, touch, a little humor, a little discipline (reminding him to clean up his language), and finally the specifics Newkirk needs to believe in himself. He is so invested in these men and you show him to be both a good officer and a kind, sensitive person, which is not a facet of him that we see all that often.

I liked every bit of this except maybe, possibly, (I'm still thinking about it) the very last line. I loved the "bloody officers" set up, and I believe Newkirk's capable of getting a bit tearful around Hogan or LeBeau (and probably no one else in camp-he's perfected his tough-guy act.) But I'm not sure he's capable of admitting to tears, let alone actually crying in a fairly public setting. So I might have chosen a different phrase (want to cry? tear up?) to temper the ending. But maybe your choice has more impact.
12/15/2020 c1 80mrspencil
You really brought the scene to life, and have a deft turn of phrase...comments on posture being one of them. Impressed:-)
12/15/2020 c1 11SoraliaRyujin
I loved reading this! You did a great job using body language and actions to convey thoughts. I also like that it was written from Hogan's POV, which makes it seem more intimate and personal. The twist in the last few lines was really touching, too. Great job!
12/15/2020 c1 3DeathThouShaltDie
I wanted to reread 'A Disgrace to the British Uniform' before reviewing and I'm glad I did. You did a great job providing summary details of what happened here as a reminder, or an overview for anyone who hasn't read the other story. It was interesting to hear a different character's point of view here, and to see the contrast it brought. In ADttBU, Newkirk expressed annoyance, irritability, anger- very much in character for him. Here, through Hogan's eyes, we see a much softer side and the depth of how other people's actions can affect a person more obviously. Interesting reflection on how experiences can shape one's perception of others, too, by contrasting Hogan and Newkirk's thoughts on Crittendon. It was a touching interaction between Hogan, Newkirk, and even Carter. Well done!

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