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for The Boros Bachelor

3/28 c1 22ZadArchie
You've definitely set up an interesting premise for this story, one that definitely has my attention. Already, you establish that our protagonist is different. A vedalken (typically found in the Azorius Senate) among the Gruul? Immediately, I'm asking why? I was hoping for a little more suspense on the reveal of why for later chapters, but this is still a satisfying answer. I do like the little tidbits of lore sprinkled in here. I must admit, my background on Magic lore is mostly from the card game, various articles from Magic's story website, and a few of the Art of Magic: The Gathering books. So, this is a bit of some new territory for me, even if a lot of it is familiar.

One thing that does have me curious about the D&D handbook is how magic is described. Do they actually use colors to describe magic in that still? I haven't seen that kind of thing since pre-Mending stories from the 90s. Interesting...

Anyway, this is definitely a good start to this story, and I'll be reading more of it down the road.

Best,
Zad
3/7 c7 62Sir Perfluous
I'm honestly surprised no one here has reviewed or followed this story yet, so let me be the first! This is well written and a good start to what's shaping up to be a long running series. I'm impressed at how well thought out and realized your descriptions of Ravnica are, especially in the various geographic locations and the contrasting cultures of the precincts. I'm especially interested in the setup for Maverick's story. It's a relatable one and I see a lot of potential for Mav's character growth in gaining both maturity and redemption by joining the Legion. I am curious though if Maverick is just a nickname, or maybe just a Top Gun reference if his father was a skyknight? Regardless, I've always been a fan of the Boros and they've always been one of my favorite guilds so I'm sold on the story premise.

I also think it's really cool that you're doing this fanfic based off your D&D Ravnica campaign because this sounds like a fun one to play in. My friends and I are also running a Ravnica campaign right now, and the character I play originated from a couple short stories I've written here prior. I can tell you that reviews and reader engagement are generally a bit hard to come by here on this site's MtG archive but don't be discouraged. You've got talent and a good start to a story and at least one reader here. Nice work and best of luck!

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