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8/1 c25 28RobertBruceScott
I suspect Mark Okrand makes a face every time he hears that line in STTMP... "throks" - the vulcan language would have sounded far more alien if he had been hired to create it.

This little story is one of the better sci-fi stories, not to mention Trek stories, that I have encountered in fanfic. You could probably re-work this into a non-Trek story that you could market.

Thanks! rbs
7/22 c24 LORETTA
SO THE WORST IS OVER. GOOD. THIS HAS BE VERY GOOD, AS YOU FINISH AND I KNOW YOU MUST. I WILL BE LOOKING FOR WHAT YOU HAVE IN STORE FOR HIM IN THE FUTURE. YOU HAVE INVESTED A LOT OF TIME INTO AVARAK. GOOD STORY AND AGAIN THANK YOU.
7/18 c24 RobertBruceScott
Really nice character development with Avarak... He may not have passed the test, but he acquitted himself well. Totally vulcan to know down to the second how long he has been wounded.

Excellent little story - Thanks! rbs
7/9 c23 12Kehlan
It seems to me that Avarak has learned what its all about. He realises that preserving life is more important than a test that can be repeated. I think Sordd and Mimi will be proud of him. Nice to see that Saros has also matured, in his realisation that his own pride is the problem and that a human has something worth meditating on.
7/9 c21 Kehlan
Sorry, I thought I'd reviewed these chapters when I read them the first time... so here you are, better late than never...
I keep telling you how much I like T'Vish and I will tell you it again. Her handling of the situation in this chapter is flawless. She is such an interesting character. T'Sel seems dangerous and I wonder what was the unthinkable thing T'Vish saw in her mind?
7/7 c23 28RobertBruceScott
Probably the clearest indication of failure for both Avarak and Saros is their misapprehension that this is a test and not a necessary process in their maturation...

However, Avarak's decisions since deciding that he failed have been flawlessly logical within the life-nurturing ethos of the vulcans. Shedding the shame and apprehension of the potential for failure has helped him set aside distracting emotions. It could be that the only way to pass is to stop trying to pass.

Really well written and thought provoking.

Thanks! rbs
7/7 c23 LORETTA
THIS IS SO GOOD. I KNOW HE WILL BE OK, HOWEVER I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!
7/2 c22 RobertBruceScott
Love the interplay. Sordd is learning how to manage a human spouse... It's not the logic he is used to, but she definitely has a logic about her..

Thanks! rbs
6/22 c21 LORETTA
I REMEMBERED AS SOON AS I READ IT. IT IS PLEASING TO GO BACK AND REMEMBER SOMETIMES, THANKS.
THANKS FOR THE UPDATE. GOOD TO KNOW THAT AVARAK IS DOING BETTER.
6/21 c21 RobertBruceScott
I initially read the line as shelves holding skulls and books... which briefly made it a much more interesting office for a vulcan.

There appears to be a subtext that T'Vish is concerned that T'Sel might act out...

Nice little check in on Avarak's progress.

Thanks! rbs
6/19 c20 12Kehlan
Crushing biscuits can be so satisfying, can't it. I love the way Mimi is using it as an outlet for her stress and how T'vish understands this. Who is T'sel? I get the impression she doesn't approve of Mimi.
I like the way Avarak is working things out in his mind, in the guise of educating Pi-veh and when he decides to ask about Kolinahr, he decides to speak with family members on both sides to educate himself properly. I am sad though that he thinks he has failed his kah'swan. Poor Avarak.
6/13 c20 LORETTA MIDCAP
THANKS FOR THE CHAPTER. POOR AVARAK BELIEVING HE IS A FAILURE. THIS IS A GOOD DETAILED STORY OF THIS TIME IN THEIR LIFE,I THINK YOU DID A JOB WELL DONE. THANK YOU.
6/8 c20 28RobertBruceScott
Okay - the bit with the biscuits is brilliant - love the flustered vulcan... And T'Vish's intervention.

The whacking and whomping provide a nice, rhythmic counterpoint in the prose that should be remarked on. As a musician, I appreciate prose that isn't just a collection of sentences, but has some sort of alliterative flow.

As you get further into what it means to be vulcan, you might (if you haven't already) want to look into Mindfulness - which seems to me to be the cutting edge of blending western and eastern contemplative and logic traditions. In Mindfulness meditation, the meditator does not seek to avoid distracting thoughts, but to be aware of them and simply notice them as they arise without indulging them. This actually seems to be the difference between T'Sel and T'Vish. It also seems to be what is holding Avarak back. He's indulging in his distractions and regretting that he is distracted. Even his planning at the end is an indulgence in distraction instead of using the opportunity to focus on the experience.

Thanks! rbs
5/28 c19 3Solasnagreine
Thank you, Loretta :-) I'm not sure how I-chle will react. Hopefully there is a book called 'How to introduce wild sehalts to domesticated sehlats.' or something like that!
5/28 c19 LORETTA
THANKS FOR THE NEW CHAPTER, THO I WAS WONDERING ABOUT A PET BEING IN THE PICTURE. WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN THEY COMPLETE AND SHOW UP TOGETHER.
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