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for The Dread Masters

12/29/2020 c1 Jackejsh
Thanks for writing this, looks good so far
9/17/2020 c1 3NoblePlebian
I have to say, this is some quality fanficing here, especially because i didnt see nobody doing those kinds of stories in the Great Scouring.

My only criticism is the grammar is off some places, but is so few that i only catch it rereading it for the second time, I know how it is like, you see the same lines for soo long that your eyes just relax and let the errors pass, I know this, because is what I had to pass as well, and I also know how is to write with passion, and you my friend, have passion for this story.

If I can let my experience speak, it would say to let the finish cap unposted for a few days before revision, its really helps in finding some errors and somethings like that.
There are somethings that you told, not showed, like about the hydroponics and train stuff, if you rewrite trying to show instead of tell me about it, it would elevate the level of your storytelling.

And finally, I am a big Fan of the IV legion, so, I have some lore to share with you if you want to enrich some of the Iron Warriors Bit, for what I saw, Jericho is probably a Tyranthikos.

Best of lucks with the story pal, I want to read how it will end.
7/20/2020 c1 Brassmon96
Very good story, well on par with a lot of black library books I've read, cant wait to see where you take this!

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