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3/1 c1 6flabirder
You're off to a good start here. The story is interesting, but please fix your formatting. The dialog should be in quotation marks, not italics. It's very hard to read that much text in italics. Also, you've got a lot of the dialog running together in the same paragraph. Every time somebody new speaks, their dialog should be in a new paragraph. Your punctuation also needs a little bit of work. Like a lot of people, you are mixing up plural and possessives. Cartwright's means belonging to the Cartwrights. Cartwrights means more than one Cartwright. You might want to think about getting a Beta reader to go over your chapters before publishing them. Overall, it's a good story and I hope you update it soon.
9/3/2020 c1 13gaben
I like the premise but you need to format it properly. All your dialogue is running into each other within the same paragraph. New person speaks ... New paragraph.
8/16/2020 c1 islaboe
So Rebecca is being sought out by a boy and I can understand Adam and Ben not being too happy about it, her first love and them wanting to know more about it as they would, they would be protective of her, plus that Cartwright temper Of hers which of course she has, and I bet that won’t be the only time she lets it fly at one or other of them as she is at that age now isn’t she ?

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