Just In
Community
Forum
More
for Piece of Cake—Almost

12/16/2020 c13 3DeathThouShaltDie
You do a nice job with introducing new characters- they feel like real people, with backstories and depth to their personalities. I enjoyed the interaction between LeBeau and Carter here. Well done writing the hospital scenes- they felt quite natural. Anxiously awaiting the next chapter!
12/16/2020 c11 DeathThouShaltDie
Really enjoyed this chapter- the pace was excellent! And you did a lovely job drawing the cover :)
12/16/2020 c9 DeathThouShaltDie
Poor Newkirk- I'm beginning to really worry for how things will play out when Hochstetter arrives, and how they'll explain everything and get Newkirk to play along. I think you're doing an excellent job using each character- it never feels like one is 'left behind' or an afterthought, and its clear each one has a reason for being there. LeBeau's ability to joke/be insulting in a serious situation and as a way to subtly show Carter that things were okay felt true-to-character, and I liked that you made it clear that Carter was purposeful in his rambling, and consciously uses it as a strategy. Nice touch with the bit about his niece.
Neat idea to include the deleted scene- I'm sure you would have made it work, but I understand the logic behind removing it. I enjoyed reading it, though!
12/16/2020 c8 DeathThouShaltDie
The sections in this chapter that focused on the Germans felt quite like the show- nothing quite works out for them, and they're just incompetent, or plain unlucky, enough to work in the Heroes' favour. Overall, I felt like this chapter was a welcome bit of relief- we have a bit to worry about from Hochstetter, and for Newkirk, but overall it was fairly uneventful, and this bit of calm feels like it came at just the right time in the story.
11/11/2020 c10 2FleckaRAF
Apologies for taking so long to write a review - I usually read fanfics on my old kindle that doesn't let me log in :P
I love this story! Each person is so in character, I can totally imagine them speaking the dialogue!
I have to admit, I quite enjoy the hurt/comfort genre, if it's done well. This is spot on ;D Poor dear old Newkirk - he always gets it. And I like it that way LOL.
Cannot wait for the next installment! Well done!
11/11/2020 c10 98Ponchygirl
Ahhh I finally got around to catching up with this story! :') it's SO good! I love it.

Also side note I've really enjoyed listening to you talk about your ideas and where it's going. And thanks for listening to me and my ideas too.
10/22/2020 c7 3DeathThouShaltDie
Another enjoyable chapter :) There were places I smiled/laughed, and places where I was once again anxious for the heroes. I thought you did a good job introducing Hohenheim and Schneider- it was brief, but gave a clear idea of who they are as people before they became necessary to the story.

One thing that did throw me off a little was Kinch being worried about how long they'd been gone (a natural reaction- waiting is a hard job!), but then finding out it had only been half an hour. I envisioned them all a little farther from camp, and would have expected them to be gone for at least an hour or two. My apologies if I missed something earlier in the story that clarified the timeline! Perhaps indicating that it felt like they'd been gone longer, but he knew it would be awhile before he could reasonably expect them back, would help? Certainly not a big deal if you decide it doesn't need to be changed, but just thought I'd throw that out there as it did distract me for a second as I read.

Looking forward to the next chapter!
10/19/2020 c6 DeathThouShaltDie
Just like in the show, Kinch is a reliable and competent character- thank goodness he's back keepings things under control at Stalag 13.
Hogan and LeBeau seem to be getting close- the snow poses some challenges for Carter and Newkirk, but it looks like it is also going to be a bit of a blessing. You've done a lovely job with your descriptions throughout, and this chapter is no different. The scene at the end is well done- very vivid.
Very much looking forward to what comes next...I'm quite invested in this story and would love to continue seeing involvement from various 'groups' - prisoners back at camp, the guards, the soldiers at headquarters, etc.
10/19/2020 c5 DeathThouShaltDie
I was immediately drawn into this chapter and I'll admit I had some foolish hope at the start that the two soldiers Hogan and LeBeau came across would be Carter and Newkirk. Clearly you've been successful in making me worried for their safety!
Great job in the dialogue here. Hogan's thoughts and speech felt true-to-character, and his and LeBeau's interactions with the soldiers provided us (and them) with much-needed information (and yet another perspective to the story) in a very natural way instead of 'dumping' information. The same is true for the interactions between Carter and Newkirk. Its nice to see some improvement on Newkirk's end, even if the changes are small- that's an encouraging start!
I liked that at the end you added yet another 'side of the story'- great to get Klink and Schultz involved, even if I wish Klink's brilliant idea could have come a bit later to give Hogan, LeBeau, Carter, and Newkirk a bit more time. Great work keeping the story moving!
10/19/2020 c4 DeathThouShaltDie
The snippets of wit at the start of this chapter nicely complimented the seriousness of everything else that was happening, and were an effective way to give extra information and flesh out the scene (for example, the virus comment reminding us that the absence of men would be noticed by the guards and the prisoners would be the ones to deal with that problem; the comment about London reminding us that Hogan's men have others depending on them and expecting things of them, as well as needing to be kept informed about what's going on). Of course, the wit also is true-to-character- like you said, these guys have been known to use humor to work through their worry.
I like that you're acknowledging Carter's worry and pain without making him become so panicked or discouraged that he becomes useless. There are things he's uncertain about, but he's doing his best to work through it all logically and do everything he realistically can to keep them safe. Nice portrayal.
What a terrible situation for Carter and Newkirk (and the others, of course). You've done a good job keeping the story engaging and keeping us aware of what is going on on all ends. Looking forward to what Carter is going to tell Newkirk about their life!
10/19/2020 c3 DeathThouShaltDie
Some unexpected content in this chapter!
It was nice to get a snippet of what was going on at 'home' and to know that Carter and Newkirk's absence was noted, and a plan to help them was being formulated. Great work flipping between different perspectives and allowing us the chance to see what's happening for each individual. I really feel for all the characters- they all have some terrible challenges to work through.
I'm enjoying the fact that this story features Carter so prominently and gives him the opportunity to be responsible and make some decisions.
Can't wait to see what happens next!
10/19/2020 c2 DeathThouShaltDie
Great start to this chapter with the back and forth between [almost] safe and being discovered- each time I thought everything would be okay, things took a turn, which was an effective hook. Despite the fluctuations between calm and danger, the pace stayed consistent- good job!
9/29/2020 c3 11SoraliaRyujin
I liked how you slowly revealed the gravity of the situation by letting one clue slip at a time. You can feel the desperation that Carter and Newkirk both feel as they figure out what happened. I also enjoyed the snipped about Lebeau having to sit back when his friend are in trouble. This happened a couple times during the show and is a good point to revisit. Looking forward to the next chapter!
9/19/2020 c1 SoraliaRyujin
Great first chapter! The characters are on point and it is easy to relate to their emotions. I also enjoyed the dialogue between Carter and Newkirk. Good job!
9/19/2020 c1 JoyfulTunes
can't wait to read the rest!
16 Page 1 2 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service