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7/19 c2 8KenosDC1
Nice chapter, it’s good to see the story continuing, I like the way you write your fight scenes, they do share some similarities to my own, but yours are a bit more concise while still being descriptive which I think is pretty neat.

I like the inclusion of Cain and Abel along with the biblical representation of them, and using the story in the Bible as possible foreshadowing, Cain might try to kill Abel. I too am a Christian, although of a different denomination, but I don’t add too many biblical references to my story, except the whole Angel thing. I also noticed that Cain and Abel are the anthesis or are perpendicular to Asta and Yuno, Asta and Yuno aren’t related, but have an incredible brotherly bond, in contrast, Cain and Abel are related, but seem to not like each other, at all.

Also, I think you made a mistake when Abel was talking to Raiden, Raiden stated that Abel had Yang Magic when he’s supposed to have Yin Magic.

Other than that, I can’t wait for the next chapter.
7/9 c1 KenosDC1
Not a bad pilot chapter, a few spelling mistakes here and there, but nothing too bad, we've all made some of those mistakes.

I like Raiden and Johan's characters, as well as their fighting style, one acts as a sword and the other as a shield, something that also intrigued me was when Raiden mentioned that the two of them are "believers in the lord", it brought me back to the beginning paragraphs regarding the silhouette of that female and the others talking about the Fatherland, and she referred to them all as "Saviors", I wonder if Raiden and Johan were a part of this group. But maybe they aren't, perhaps this group could be the antagonists of the story, I'm interested in seeing more of them.

You made a good choice to let us see how Raiden and Johan were before letting them join with the Magic Knights, or even interact with canon characters, in my opinion, it's the best way to flesh out an OC as you can control how all the characters act without having to worry about something you have someone do be OOC (out of character). I also really like their attributes, Raiden's Inferno Magic and Johan's Obsidian Magic, I can't wait to see more of it.

Something else I feel you did well was the bandits, for some odd reason, they were sort of polite and smug, most stories I read has the bandit characters be these one-note brutes, but I like the way you wrote them.

You got a fav and follow from me, can't wait to see what routes this story takes.

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