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for i don't care what you think

7/23 c1 13SomberFilledWithSullen
Some CC:
Loved the storyline and character arcs, but it moved way too fast. This could have easily been broken up into a multi chapter, maybe 3-4 at the least? I feel like there could have been more build up to them getting together, idk it was just super random. We found out some stuff about Ally (her mom, etc.) but I would’ve liked to learn more about Austin’s backstory (when he said “you think I’ll never understand what you’re going through” - I’d like some clarity on that). I got the gist of it I think, but I would recommend double-checking the spelling, grammar, and some punctuation as well. It’s cool that you didn’t just straight out mention that her mom’s an abusive drunk, like you showed it - in writing, actions are more powerful than words - showing a bit more of it would have made me piece everything together just a bit easier though.
You have great potential! I really feel like I would be more invested in the story if it were paced slower and checked for proper grammar and everything, but this was a great start and I’m proud of you for putting yourself out there! :) keep writing
7/14 c1 sweetgirl2711.cp
That so sad about Ally, that’s great that she has Austin and Trish. Could you do anther one shot about Ally getting away from Penny and staying with Austin or Trish? Great story.

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