Just In
Community
Forum
More
for A Chance At Normalcy

9/15 c2 2TheSamanthaborn
I read this chapter as soon as I was able, and loved it! I already really like the dynamic between our two leading guys. I'm looking forward to seeing how their relationship develops! I thought it was a great touch, including Grelka's racism, and having Madesi think about how it's good to have someone like him in town. I see you're asking for feedback on how you could improve, as well. I would say I only have two criticisms. One, in my opinion, you're leaning a little bit too hard on the idea that Veezara is a trained killer, and is perfect at that, but ONLY knows how to do that. The reality is that a masterful killer would actually have a number of skills that could help them get along successfully in a number of trades. The other criticism is that I think it would be a good addition to the story, if you expanded your view of Riften. You describe it as a dirty, tired, hard-luck city, and it IS, but that's not all it is. there is plenty of kindness and goodness to be found there too, if you look, and I think the city would be more endearing to the reader if everyone wasn't described as only suspicious, wary, tired, cranky and unfriendly. I'm really looking forward to chapter 3!
9/13 c1 TheSamanthaborn
I love it! this is a fantastic start.
9/13 c1 TheSamanthaborn
I clicked this story SO FAST when I read the summary, omg. what a GREAT idea

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service