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9/21 c1 5Bennie Stardust
I think this might be your strongest opening chapter yet. It's centered around an interaction between two characters which serves as an inciting incident. The sense of mystery and unease throughout works as a segue into the flashback. I think your prose has also gotten stronger - your descriptions have become punchier, more concise and encompassing. Little mannerisms like Slick fanning himself with his hat are great.

I also loved your description of Twang's song as something alien yet distinctly musical to human ears. Naturally, an alien culture from another planet would have unique and surreal music. It actually works really well as a symbol of Twang's isolation - her choice of music reflects where her mind and heart are at the moment.

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