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10/3 c7 FelipeMarcusThomas
I don't think I've ever read a story about what it might have been like to actually witness the Pevensies returning back to England at the close of LWW. Well done.
10/3 c7 73BrokenKestral
What a beautiful ending.
10/2 c6 6SouthwestExpat
I don't know if Susan playing the harp is really OOC, but especially since you invoked parallel universes, I don't think you need to worry about that.

It wasn't sappy, I didn't think - it ran the gambit of emotions that music can express: frustration, joy, sorrow...the last lines honestly felt a little spooky...
10/2 c5 SouthwestExpat
Very well-thought-out!
10/2 c6 FelipeMarcusThomas
A good answer to the prompt. It is most interesting as to speculate on how Susan's love of music would have led, first, to her turning her back on Narnia, and second, to her return as the prodigal daughter.
10/2 c5 FelipeMarcusThomas
A very good analysis. And on a side note, regarding Aslan's injunction regarding the dumb beasts to "Treat gently and cherish", I can think of several reasons he could have, but the greatest of them would be that he created the dumb beasts of Narnia and so they belong to him, not to the Talking Beasts.
10/2 c6 95trustingHim17
I think you succeeded. this is beautiful, and i'm only left wondering what the black broken wood is. the petal from the Cair?
10/2 c6 73BrokenKestral
"but there is a peace found in grieving" - I needed that message this morning. And I think I need music. I'll go look for it now.

"music is the speech of your soul." I teared up at that line - what a beautiful way to put it.
10/2 c6 30A Talking Cat
This - this is beautiful! I love the way she is Susan of the Harp and how it has changed it.
Also the hints of other worlds that could have been.
And the way the music leads her to never falling away.
It's truly beautiful, and thank you for writing it.
10/1 c5 73BrokenKestral
Oh, I can just SEE a dignitary presenting an animal as a gift, and the inward sighs of the rulers.
9/29 c4 30A Talking Cat
My breath caught several times through this. It's short, but *perfect*; just enough information for us to recognise what you're talking about, yet little enough to really bring the important bits out.
There's a possible typo in 'and they were seven'; d'you mean 'there were seven'?
I love the way you redeem Susan without even telling. This is - just the whole thing, I love it so much, feels like it should be framed or something, in a pretty picture, and I wish Lewis could've seen the way you've done it so beautifully, a lovely summary of the essential parts of Narnia!
Thank you for this, and shortness is not a problem.
9/29 c4 6SouthwestExpat
An elegant summary of the whole matter. Within the brevity is a rhythm, numbers counting up and then down - then coming to the end, which is truly the beginning.
9/29 c3 SouthwestExpat
Interesting rumination on truth, words literally true but spoken to give a different impression to the hearer. I think the motive is important in this instance - the deception is not to harm anyone, but to explain things in a way that the hearer can understand (in this instance the adage "what he doesn't know won't hurt him" seems quite true)

I'm definitely planning on diving into your AU after the challenge ends - I'm more ambivalent about Twilight than perhaps most, and I love good crossovers. Two worlds that were not designed to meet, managing to mesh...it's not easy to pull off, but when it is, something greater than the sum of its parts can happen!
9/29 c4 14BellatrixTheStar
So much weight on those last two sentences! I love that emphasis. Great job!
9/29 c4 73BrokenKestral
I LOVE the Agatha Christie title. (Speaking of titles—where did “Carmine” come from?)

And those two last lines—as someone who asked God for renewed hope today, this was a reminder of WHY we hope: because there can be none, there can be nothing, there can be a dead world and a dead Queen’s heart—and then there is one.
And that one often leads to more.

Safe travels!
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