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for Lincoln Gets Limber

12/28/2020 c109 5DMan51
Firstly, I will like to thank you for this story! I'm surprise this story just ended here, lol. It's a good spot to end. This story gave a lot of people something to look forward to. It takes a lot of determination and passion to have this story last as long as it did! If you're still posting stories, I'm really looking forward to your next project. Now it's time for the review. I will go over the pros first. The chemistry between Lincoln and Jordan is phenomenal! If Lincoln and Jordan was to become a couple in the show, it will be just like this portrayal from this story. Everyone's in character. I like how you portrayed Jordan. She's a lot like Lincoln but at the same time, she's really playful and care-free. On the other hand, Lincoln tends to worry a lot and is a bit more sensitive. I also like your portrayal of Lynn Jr. She may be rough around the edges, but she truly sticked with Lincoln the whole time helping him the best she can. My favorite part of the story is the showcase arc. This really 'showcased'(see what I did there) Lincoln's love for gymnastics. Lincoln has a goal that he wants to achieve. To save gymnastics. He had a lesson he needed to learn. Not everything is his fault. This arc is the most straight forward. But one of the best parts is the fact that whether Lincoln, Jordan and the rest of the team performed well or not didn't matter in the slightest. The managers are going to get rid of gymnastics anyway. Lincoln's sister's played a big part in supporting him and show that they truly love him. The arc, while it was good but like the other parts of the story, it got it's issues which brings me to the cons. This story has too many fillers for one thing. I get that TLH is a slice of life show of many misadventures but it worked. But for your story to be mostly filler really dragged the story out. After awhile, it became hard to read. It's ok to put some filler before or after an arc. The next problem is at the earlier chapters, Lincoln was mostly reacting to the events going on such as his parents and Lynn Jr, helping him trying to take up a sport and him lying to his sisters that he took up dodgeball. There was a point where the sisters were moving the story forward. It was the time where they were trying to apologize to him for laughing at the fact he does gymnastics. This part of the story while a lot of people will say it's very heart warming, it's also very cornball and artificial. There's A LOT of excessive crying in this story. While the chapters of the sisters apologizing to Lincoln weren't bad. It was the fact that several consecutive chapters have one or two of the characters breaking down crying. After awhile, I wasn't feeling any emotion from those chapters. I was getting bored to be honest. The only one that felt really natural was when Luan, apologized to Lincoln because you can feel her insecurities and you learn some things about her. After that event, the story just meandered around with fillers until the showcase arc came in. The third problem is Markus. He's just a douche bag, that all he is. It would be more interesting to give him more of a reason for his behavior like him having an abusive parent that's bullying him and being jealous of Lincoln of the fact he has a big family. This more of a nitpick but I can imagine a scenario of Marcus's friends not coming in time to who Lincoln back when he tackled the bully down after he socked Jordan in the face. I can see Lincoln punching his face a few times getting himself suspended in the process raising the stakes even more for the showcase. When Markus returned home after getting expelled he get even more beatings from his dad from losing to Lincoln. Next thing you know Lincoln's parents get sued by Markus's parents an Lincoln now has to go to court. This not only raises the stakes even more for the showcase but it showed that Markus lived a tragic lifestyle and Lincoln went back on his word for not engaging in fights. It's to show that he's human. This will make the ending of the story so much more rewarding since Lincoln been through a lot. There needs to be some closure between Lincoln and Markus, Like Markus apologizing to Lincoln for his behavior. The last problem is the fact we didn't get to know who these managers really are. We learn of their motivation through info dump from another manager. Remember, show, don't tell. We never get to see this meeting between Chris and these managers who voted to have gymnastics be shut down. I know this story is about Lincoln and Jordan. But it will make the world feel a lot more lively showing events from other characters, that will eventually effect the main characters. Well, that's my review. I'm so sorry for the long text. I'm just really passionate.

I never know you were going through depression. 2021 will be a much better year. I hope your Christmas went well and Happy New Year!
12/27/2020 c109 5Mr. Page
Wow. . .

You know, I have to be honest, I wasn't expecting to see the words THE END at the end of this chapter. But you know, thinking about it, I think this is a very fitting spot to end the story.

Now that the showcase is over, and their gymnastics group now secured, Lincoln, Jordan, and all their friends and families can go on about their lives — busy, crazy, yet comfortable and so happy. All the conflict has come to a close, both physical and emotional. A pizza party with games was a great way for them to wind down after so much work, and it shows how close Lincoln has grown to all of Jordan's friends. Really, I loved seeing him bond with Molly, Kat, Jen, Artie and so many other characters we rarely see on the show.

I loved the bonding with Lincoln's sisters, too. The love these siblings have was as strong in this fanfic as it is on the show. You showed so much of their characters in their actions and their spirit towards their brother's new hobby. Lynn especially shined in how she and Lincoln grew closer through their training, jokes, and laughs. She may be tough and a bit cocky, but she truly loves and respects her brother.

And then . . . there's Lincoln and Jordan. It was a joy from beginning to end, watching this young couple grow. What started as a friendly encounter and a stroke of luck turned into a beautiful, compassionate relationship.

Their smiles, their frowns, their talks, their time spent alone, their time spent with friends, the fashion show, their games of dodgeball, their gymnastics practices, the pool party, their time at the mall and arcade, their group chats, the moments they stood up for each other against Markus, and the final sweet moment in the end where they admitted their feelings.

Every single experience was a joy to behold. It showed the depth of their characters; it made them feel fleshed out. Just like in the show, I came to care about these characters and their lives.

You wrote superbly with colorful detail, engaging dialogue, relatable issues, and a plot that was both surprising, interesting, and so captivating. It reminds me of how much I've come to love slice-of-life stories.

You created a wonderful story, and to be honest, this is a great spot to end it. Whatever comes next, Lincoln and Jordan will see it through with their friends and families, and, of course, together.

I wish them the best, and same to you. :-)

Good luck in your future projects, Just4FunFiction. You have a wonderful talent. May it bring you as much happiness as it did us, your readers.

And may 2021 be a better year, for all of us.

~Mr. Page
12/27/2020 c109 7Frosty Wolf
And they finally plan a real date! Can't say you skimped on the relationship buildup!

Part of me is sad to see this end, but part of me is happy to see the tale brought to a close. Either way congratulations on completing this story! Many authors here never succeed at that.

And while it's a few days late, a belated Merry Christmas to you.
12/27/2020 c109 3Marius Wales
Congrats, man! And with one hundred and nine chapters?! I could never ever be as dedicated as you! Bravo!
12/26/2020 c109 Kyth Marquez
2 questions only

1. What happened to the scarf that Lincoln gave her for her birthday?

2. Is this the last chapter?
12/26/2020 c109 Guest
Is this your final fanfiction for Loud House or this site in general? I hope to see more from you someday.
12/25/2020 c109 Guest
Bravo my friend, Bravo. This was such a wonderful story. I enjoyed reading this very much. Great job to you for completing it. And Merry Christmas
12/26/2020 c109 22TURP
And thus ends a long awaited end to a romantic tale. ;)
12/26/2020 c109 2Mr. Haziq
And thus, the story ends, but the memories live on in our hearts.
12/26/2020 c109 10Yellowpikmin88
Wow! That's the end?! I actually didn't see it coming XD

This has been a lot of fun to read and I can't wait to see what you make next.

Is there any chance we might get a Oneshot for their first date?
12/26/2020 c109 3Flameas
Is there going to be a sequel to this story in 2021?
12/25/2020 c109 1The Game Changer
Such an amazing story. Characters were written well and believable, story was enticing. I'm glad to had read the whole thing.

Firstly, I personally hope you get over your real life obstacles, good luck in University and I may not know your current situation but I'm positive you can overcome your depression. YOU come first.

And secondly, I do hope we get to see more of this story. Sequel or anything else, I've really come to love how the ending came to be, and honestly think it's a tease to not get anything more. There's so much more to explore in the story. So many interactions I can think of from the ending. But obviously, that's all up to you.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and everyone else reading this fic.
12/25/2020 c109 Momijifan Low-Ki
What a long, emotional, and sometimes painful ride to get here, but it was glorious. When I first found this story, assembly passed it off as another good Lincoln trying new things and getting the girl kind of story, but then it kept evolving and it kept going and So my attention was just glued to see what happened next, whatever it was the two of them getting together or the sea Lincoln grow as he kept enjoying and loving gymnastics every time he went.

So many highlights of both emotional a ndincredible moments (good & bad) but I got the witness is just too much to try and count down which is the best of them all, but all I can say is... Thank you. Thank you J4FF, for what you've done with this story and taking so much of your time and effort to make sure that this turn out to be an absolute masterpiece.

And it's as much as I would like a sequel. This is one of those few stories that doesn't need one, because the imagination What Happens Next with Lincoln and Jordan is so much more best to let us think and enjoying our own minds how they become stronger as teammates and to see them grow as human beings as their love become stronger.

I hope to see you down the road again for whatever future projects you have plan on writing, and I hope you have a Merry Christmas and let us pray to God that 2021 will fix everything at this crap year has done to us!

P.S. one thing, don't you ever talk crap about root beer ever again! :P
12/25/2020 c109 8DreadedCandiru2
Call Robert Lamm because this is only the beginning.
12/25/2020 c109 25The J.A.M. a.k.a. Numbuh i
It was about time those two got together. :D :D :D

[Aplauso]

Great story and great ending!
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