1/23/2020 c15 92Paranoidgirl
Thanks for listening to my advice. These line breaks made reading it a lot easier.
Thanks for listening to my advice. These line breaks made reading it a lot easier.
1/18/2020 c14 Paranoidgirl
This is another good chapter.
That said, the fact that it doesn't have clear paragraph breaks does hurt it a bit. I'm sometimes confused when a scene has stopped and when another one starts.
This is another good chapter.
That said, the fact that it doesn't have clear paragraph breaks does hurt it a bit. I'm sometimes confused when a scene has stopped and when another one starts.
1/10/2020 c11 Paranoidgirl
Now this is getting interesting.
Poor D'jok, he's not going to have a good time. I feel sorry for him.
Now this is getting interesting.
Poor D'jok, he's not going to have a good time. I feel sorry for him.
1/5/2020 c9 Paranoidgirl
Not bad. Not bad at all.
That said, I do think that things with Corso being captured was resolved a liiiiiitle too quickly. The fact that he was freed before the chapter ended kind of reduced both the stakes and the tension.
Not bad. Not bad at all.
That said, I do think that things with Corso being captured was resolved a liiiiiitle too quickly. The fact that he was freed before the chapter ended kind of reduced both the stakes and the tension.
1/3/2020 c8 Paranoidgirl
Ooooh, cliffhanger. Things are heating up.
This was a nice one. I'm very curious for the next.
Ooooh, cliffhanger. Things are heating up.
This was a nice one. I'm very curious for the next.
11/8/2019 c6 Paranoidgirl
The plot, it thickens.
You're making some nice setups here. They'll be fun to see pay off.
Also, I think shorter chapters are a good idea.
The plot, it thickens.
You're making some nice setups here. They'll be fun to see pay off.
Also, I think shorter chapters are a good idea.
10/30/2019 c5 Paranoidgirl
Another fun chapter. I like the way you write D'jok and Sonny. They truly do feel like father and son.
Another fun chapter. I like the way you write D'jok and Sonny. They truly do feel like father and son.
10/6/2019 c3 EmaC200
Hi! I would really love to help you with this fanfic so if you want a feedback from the next chapter or ideas. Just message me. It's so rare to see people who like galactik football in 2019
Thnaks for your attencion
Hi! I would really love to help you with this fanfic so if you want a feedback from the next chapter or ideas. Just message me. It's so rare to see people who like galactik football in 2019
Thnaks for your attencion