5/30/2018 c33 4rbrooks25
Lady Earth may cause some issues. :) I was curious, what happened to Demona in this world? Is she dead or just missing?
Lady Earth may cause some issues. :) I was curious, what happened to Demona in this world? Is she dead or just missing?
5/30/2018 c32 rbrooks25
This is a good chapter. I posted the critique I have on the last chapter, but the most important part of any story is here. The story is intriguing and holds the interest of the reader. :)
This is a good chapter. I posted the critique I have on the last chapter, but the most important part of any story is here. The story is intriguing and holds the interest of the reader. :)
5/30/2018 c31 rbrooks25
The only thing that I would change is the Elisa and Goliath parts. I've never been a fan of that pairing. It's a good story that seems to flow well, but if I may make a recommendation. I've been thinking about this for awhile, but I don't think you need to include the POV's. If you seperate the paragraph's I believe that the reader can better ascertain what is going on with descriptions. It's just a thought. Overall, the story is unique and very interesting and I can overlook the Elisa and Goliath relationship which is the first time I have read a story with that pairing :) Great work on this!
The only thing that I would change is the Elisa and Goliath parts. I've never been a fan of that pairing. It's a good story that seems to flow well, but if I may make a recommendation. I've been thinking about this for awhile, but I don't think you need to include the POV's. If you seperate the paragraph's I believe that the reader can better ascertain what is going on with descriptions. It's just a thought. Overall, the story is unique and very interesting and I can overlook the Elisa and Goliath relationship which is the first time I have read a story with that pairing :) Great work on this!
10/1/2016 c1 Author of the Insane
I am loving this story. glad my own could inspire you. can't wait to see more
I am loving this story. glad my own could inspire you. can't wait to see more