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4/15 c16 2AwesomeOwl
I've reread this story multiple times, I'm slightly obsessed now xD I really love these characters, I love how they all developed and I'd love to read more about them if you were to ever consider a sequel. Fantastic work, I enjoyed this even more than Cabo Diablo :)
8/6/2020 c14 1Jaggeddruid
This is so well written. So amazing. I have only two chapters to go. Nothing feels forced, and it is not predictable.
8/1/2020 c9 Jaggeddruid
I was at work today and read about 3 chapters today. Kept my heart pounding all day. I really love how you kept Cloudkicker as this ominous individual who was unknown. I like how we did not meet him until Baloo did. And I love how we saw Cloudkicker soften just a little bit once he accepted that it was actually Baloo...I am looking forward to finishing reading it here in a few days. This really is an emotional ride.

P.S. The Dr. Who easter egg was great.
8/1/2020 c5 Jaggeddruid
This is the first time I have read and actually felt for Don Karnage. I am loving your story mate. You are a talented writer.
5/2/2020 c1 11Brahma Bear
Just a warning to anyone perusing the reviews prior to reading the story, there are bbig spoilers in the posts below/b. Not a huge deal in that all any of us are doing here is writing amateur fiction on the Interwebs, but if I may toot my own horn, a large part of what makes this story interesting in each chapter is the suspense of what happens next, and that will unfortunately be lost to the reader if you continue down this page.

If you want the CliffsnNotes version of how the story ends, by all means knock your socks off and scroll down. Otherwise, kindly avert your eyes if you'd like to get the best experience, because

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5/1/2020 c16 1RemTar85
Well, I will say, other than future Karnage's death, which was slow and painful and yet he still went out doing the right thing and making sure Kit could be saved, this chapter felt quite subdued, or at the very least the resolution part of it after returning to Baloo's present. Seeing everything from Cloudkicker's capture to his escape to getting swept in the time machine, it didn't really do much beyond showcasing still how far gone and outright evil Cloudkicker is, and I admit I rather preferred how his escape was handled in the last chapter, leaving the details to the reader's imagination. The part where he jumped from the plane to one of the fighters was the most surprising bit to me, how he didn't at the very least get his arm dislocated by that.

The return to the present was simple, subdued even, but had its own depth, mainly because of future Karnage just hanging in there, refusing to die until he could at least tell his younger self to save Kit, though clearly unable to elaborate better before sadly passing away. Karnage's shock and fear can really be felt. Seeing him start to give in to his anger and ready to hurt Kit but yet reach deep down and do what his future self asked him to, and then to even leave Kit and Baloo alone and not retaliate any further, it felt quite significant.

Future Karnage's death at Cloudkicker's hands felt very tragic, in part because it was obvious he stood no chance against Cloudkicker but still took on him to buy time for Baloo, even in Baloo didn't take it. It was a bit frustrating, that, that even in this final chapter Baloo kept trying to reach for a Kit that wasn't there anymore; the more time passed, the more he'd do to foil Cloudkicker's plans and the like, but he never stopped trying to reach that little kid that didn't exist anymore, he can't even defend himself when Cloudkicker attempts to kill him. Baloo breaking down after Cloudkicker just vanishes felt like pretty powerful, and my guess is that he broke down for more than one reason, that being not being able to save that future Kit and having lost him like that, and finally realizing that, after Cloudkicker was really gonna kill him right then and there, that no matter what eh did and how much he tried with Cloudkicker, he was never gonna be able to save him, to get the old Kit back, Cloudkicker was simply not Kit anymore.

But then there's the reunion, and after so long, it was very heartwarming to see Baloo's huge relief and happiness at having Kit back, at knowing that if things go right, Cloudkicker's never gonna exist anymore, and that Rebecca is alive and Louie's okay and all. His feeling happy that future Karnage did save Kit in the end by making present time Karnage save him (and hopefully learn his lesson to never cross a line), and hearing what present Karnage did for Kit, making him ponder about Karnage really having good in him (which we already know he does, as seen in the cartoon's "Stuck On You" episode), it just gives a heartwarming feel to the whole thing and the possible future.

Though I find the ending very bittersweet for one main reason, and that is that Cloudkicker vanished, but we never find out what happened with everybody else in the future, and there were so many too. Are they still there in a sorta alternate reality? Did they all vanish? The ones who died in the future are obviously still alive and will not die at Cloudkicker's hand, but what of everyone else, such as Marty, who wasn't even born until after Kit's trauma that made him become Cloudkicker? And what of Doctor How and Gaia, what happened to them? It's a bummer not knowing.

Overall, this was a pretty epic "bad future" type story, and my thanks to you for all the hard work and effort you put into it.
4/30/2020 c15 RemTar85
So, turns out that Maria's town must have been practicing real good while Karnage has been away. To be able to fight off the Scourge with Maul was pretty awesome even if we didn't get to see it (though I wonder what's happened with Emma). Unfortunately, and much as I expected , it can't be that easy to take Cloudkicker in, and it wasn't. You don't just escort a world dangerous mass murderer psychopath surrounded by weapons while holding him with only handcuffs, it's kind of obvious that a guy of that caliber would know how to pick a handcuffs locks to get free, and he's shown that he's scary fast when he moves even with his bad leg.

To hear that Charles, McCoy and Spence were all killed after they've been there for a while with the heroes was real harsh, same as all those men who thought it was all finally over. The conundrum of what to do with the time machine, who'd get to go back, it was tense, but to have all three of Baloo, Karnage and Cloudkicker go through, now that I never expected. One more chapter to go, let's see how you wrap this up.
4/30/2020 c14 RemTar85
Man, so much going on in this chapter, just non-stop action for a good chunk of it with aerial battles, chases and the like, it felt like I was watching a big-time action movie in the theater. It all had this grand feel to it and I like how several folks got a chance to shine, especially Dan and Ace, they're such a good team and I like seeing them working together and how much they've com to care for one another. Moments like the Navy arriving to assist and the Iron Cloud going down were absolutely epic.

Can't deny I was disappointed upon learning that Karnage's greed got over his common sense again, to the point he risked the safety of the Sky Wolf and Big Kazoo crews to get that money. Granted, losing that money whichever way is a huge setback for Cloudkicker, and Karnage was gonna give a good chunk to all who worked with him and he wanted to keep the rest for himself and Maria, which is rather sweet, but still, that greed of his put so many in jeopardy; guess you just can't snuff out those pirate instincts. On the other hand, he did recover from it in several ways, first when we see him despair so hard when he believes he's lost everyone inside the Iron Vulture, then his absolute glee at hearing they're all alive, but most of all, taking responsibility for his actions towards Cloudkicker in the past and genuinely wishing to make up for it, even while he's being stabbed in the chest. His utter rage at hearing that Maria's now in danger is palpable and showcases also more of Karnage's growth, and I just really like the idea of him having genuinely fallen for a woman who wants him to be better than some crook.

That scene at the end after Cloudkicker awakens after being knocked out, it certainly felt incredibly uplifting for Baloo. But this is still Cloudkicker we're talking about. As much as Baloo and Molly and even Karnage want to give him another chance and bring back the sweet kid he used to be, this is the one guy who has killed hundreds, maybe thousands of people without batting an eye and outright got joy out of it. His empire's been mostly destroyed, but what happens next, we'll see.
4/30/2020 c13 RemTar85
So, a shorter chapter than usual as everyone gets the grim news regarding the base, but decide to go ahead with the attack to the base. Big-time downside is it definitely looks like Cloudkicker managed to communicate with them on time to take the bomb and whatever else Karnage is looking for. The approach of the Iron Cloud, all its fighters and Cloudkicker's jet taking point and incoming fast, the Iron Vulture clearly unable to outrun that assault, that's tense tenfold.
4/29/2020 c12 RemTar85
The flashbacks in this chapter feel like they came at a proper time. Things are heating up to the final confrontation and getting to see Kit's starting to slip into what he is now feels very poignant, especially seeing how hard Rebecca tried to do good by Kit. We can see back then that Kit still had good in him, but we could also see how he was going further into that dark path that led him to become Cloudkicker, including how he justifies his bad actions. Which brings us to his saying that Bill confessed to killing Rebecca to keep the Sea Duck and get independence; personally, I think that's up for interpretation. As we've seen, he has developed a habit of justifying his every action because he believes he's in the right and things should go his way, like the megalomaniac he's become, and we are seeing that scene from his point of view, in a way. That and his hatred of Bill since day one leads me to take this new info with a grain of salt, because either it's true, or it's not true and Cloudkicker is just deluding himself into believing that Bill killed Rebecca.

And then comes the attack to the secret base, and it's easily the most brutal chapter thus far. Those poor folks didn't listen to Baloo and it cost them bad, so many deaths and mayhem and no mercy. The song... I dunno, it made it seem even more horrific that Cloudkicker's making it fun for himself, and at the same time it was pretty cringy, the guy definitely wouldn't cut it as a composer, it was as corny as I'd expect for a psychotic mass murderer. Khan surprised me with his renewed vitality, but alas, his revenge was cut short before he could go far with it at all.

Interesting to see Cloudkicker was affected by seeing Khan and the way Khan glared at him, but I'm thinking it won't amount to much. Cloudkicker's too far gone, any feelings of affection or fondness he feels now for someone, be they from his past or present, are just fleeting glimpses of old times or just simply fake, and nowhere is that more noticeable than with Emma. It's stated plainly that he loves her face, wit, courage and especially her loyalty, but never does it state that he loves "her", and their snapping and sniping after the incident in Khan's lane proves it more; she's being harsh on him because, in her own psychotic way, she really loves him, whereas he's harsh on her because she's defying him. Seems to me that it's pretty clear that he doesn't love her, he only loves that she's useful to him, again with the Joker & Harley vibe, and that the moment she stops being useful, he won't hesitate to get rid of her.

And just continuing to display how far gone Cloudkicker is, how there's no good left in him, he just keeps pushing the envelope and is now going after Maria, which is exactly what I feared since we found out about her and her town. Karnage did his best to teach those people to defend themselves, but against common criminals, not against a figurative force of nature. The tension has just gone up tenfold.
4/29/2020 c11 RemTar85
Man, it makes complete and total sense that Cloudkicker was bluffing about that supposedly hidden extra tracker that wasn't a tracker at all, he knew Baloo would try to do the right thing and had him followed. It shows that he's gone full-blown evil indeed but he's still the head of an empire and one doesn't get and stay there for so long without being smart about things, so now the tension has ramped up big-time. At least on the good news side, Baloo has finally snapped out of it and has decided to help out the right way, even though things are looking real bad for the good guys right now.

It was also quite interesting to see all the men in Cloudkicker's command, the big-shots, quite a varied group in terms of personalities and the like. I do admit, though, I have trouble picturing Bloody Mary in my head, she was the only one whose animal species you didn't mention. I guess just by the name and penchant for flying, I'm picturing a vampire bat or a bird of prey.
4/28/2020 c10 RemTar85
While this chapter felt like a bit of downtime, with some bits of humor provided here and there, it still felt really heavy. Namely because of the implications about the time traveling, and that's always been one of the most complex parts of time travel stories; if it's not an alternate universe and someone goes back to change the past so it can may change the future/then present, what happens to everybody? Really tough to think of, made even more so by learning what would've happened had Baloo not accidentally activated the time machine and ended up there. The reveal of what happened to both Baloo and Karnage in the past is so gut-wrenching, especially due to learning that Kit was doomed either way; Baloo unable to save Kit, who died in his arms, becoming essentially an empty shell and dying just a few years after, and Karnage dying all alone, with nothing but a treasure that was then completely useless and meaningless, and his reaction to hearing that his past actions not only gave birth to Cloudkicker, but that if Baloo hadn't traveled through time Karnage would've been responsible for the death of the child he once had as his protege, his reaction is palpable, his guilt and despair can be felt no matter how he tries to deny it or not word it aloud.

And while the big plan is now in motion, it's complicated by a few factors. Namely by both Karnage and Baloo being complete stubborn knuckleheads in their own ways (making one wonder just what would it ever take for those two to just talk things out, come to an understanding and work together), as well as Khan (and his current state was a surprise too, so frail yet still so menacing) and his desire for revenge, which as the great David Xanatos so wisely said, "revenge, as they say, is a sucker's game". We all know what happens with the best laid plans, so it's gonna be quite a doozy what happens next, what may go right, what may go wrong.

If anything is bugging me, though, it's Karnage's animosity towards Molly. I understand the animosity towards Baloo, those two have quite a history, and in a way, having Baloo there is just a big, glaring extra reminder to Karnage of everything he did wrong with Kit and how everything that's going on (Cloudkicker himself, Karnage's former pirate crew and some of his current allies murdered, child Kit's death in the was-supposed-to-go-that-way past), it's all essentially Karnage's own fault for going too far and crossing lines he never should have or even needed to cross. But Molly and Karnage have rarely ever interacted, so his utter contempt for her feels weird to me, just feels harsh without a real reason behind it.
4/28/2020 c9 RemTar85
So we do get some more nice action this chapter, with proper escaping, flight action, the ICEE rockets being such a cool strategy, and man, watching Cloudkicker just completely lose it at the mere sight of the Sea Duck going to the Iron Vulture was pretty hardcore. There was some nice levity this chapter provided by Karnage, and for as serious as he's gotten, his comedic timing has not missed a beat; the gushing over Doctor How's shirt was funny, but it was the whole "Told You So" scene that made me laugh so hard, it wasn't just hilarious, but it's one of the best moments of the whole story thus far, and a welcome temporary change of pace from the overall grim nature of the story thus far. Though of course we do get the tough moments, like Karnage's reaction to Felix and Joey's murders. So, old man now. Benefactor, it seems, man behind the man, Khan being the most likely suspect of course.
4/27/2020 c8 RemTar85
Before anything else, I gotta say that Gaia just amuses me, just something about snarky AI's. But the real meat of this chapter was those talks with Cloudkicker, both with Molly and especially with Baloo. And it's just harsh. While he did go through some really rough patches after running away, the stuff he ended up doing just went way too far and then some. There's little, if any good in him at all, and even though the last bit seems to humanize him in a way (on top of giving is Emma's rather Joker & Harley backstory of how she came to meet and join Cloudkicker), it still feels like he's too far gone, and Baloo needs to realize that Kit's gone and now it's just a very bad person left. So to hear in the end that Doctor How, Gaia and the time machine are gone feels like a big relief, that Baloo's finally gonna get to pulling himself together and do what needs to be done, mainly not letting Cloudkicker get his way anymore.
4/27/2020 c7 RemTar85
Well, damn. You've been building up to Cloudkicker's introduction throughout most of the story, and soon as he finally shows up, he's pretty much how I pictured him in my head. But man, did the story get hardcore and grim fast. From the tragically epic aerial action, to seeing how far Kit's just gone, and most heart-breaking for me, Joey and especially Felix's murders. Like, holy crap, what is with that weapon? After Felix made such an impression and was such a fun character, to see him gone is gut-wrenching, especially with how gruesome it was. That and the way Cloudkicker just so swiftly offs one of his top henchmen really showcases that he's more some savage animal than a person.

And I've never seen an episode of Doctor Who in my life, yet still suspected it might be a Doctor since chapter 1, but to see it here, as a Doctor How, it's pretty surreal, but actually rather cool, too. But now Cloudkicker's got the time machine plus his bomb, so things really got grim and are staying that way.
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