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for Bitter Sweet Re Take!

9/3/2018 c1 WRgB7
Veri n1c3BMKst0rik9
3/28/2018 c7 RebelRaven-4
I'll say this right of the back. I normally don't go for drama/comfort do too having a gag reflex for cheese even in moderation. normally they just plunge themselves in the deep end i just drown in solid milk. but i like the pacing in this one. though i am confused about the Gnosis. don't get me wrong. i know how dangerous a gnosis is in Xenosaga both story and lore wise, i just find its presence odd. While considered a significant threat they rarely appear except for under two conditions. the first in when in the presence of Zohar waves that act like a beacon drawing them to the Zohar/Emulator. the second is within the UMN, as the UMN is a galaxy wide network that contacts the Collective Unconscious(Imaginary Number Domain); the realm that is the home of the Gnosis. I just don't see why the Gnosis would make an appearance without either of these... The last thing i would like to bring up is the sodium. I'm impressed that you actually made note of it as most just gloss over it like that time Shion got grabbed by that Golem Gnosis. How will she cope with Gnosisification... I can hardly wait!
9/8/2014 c6 51Aiselne Phoenix Nocturnus
So it seems Faith possesses abilities similar to KOS-MOS (or more accurately, Mary), and she’s obviously got significant ties to chaos (or more specifically, Yeshua), too. Wow…the plot definitely thickened in this chapter! O_O

chaos is the eternal mystery, as always. :) I get the impression he wants to help Faith, just as Gaignun does, yet chaos doesn’t want to coddle the girl, either. Whereas Gaignun is more protective, chaos obviously wants Faith to help herself, too: case in point, when the Gnosis appears, chaos leaves Faith to her own devices. He wants her to understand her skills and use them. Plus, it’s painstakingly obvious that chaos understands (and knows) Faith better than he lets on (perhaps better than even Faith herself realizes).

Although, just because Gaignun is more apt to protect Faith doesn’t mean he’s putting her in a bubble—he’s happy to give her a job on the Durandal. Because when you think about it, sheltering a person for her own safety isn’t overly different than Faith’s imprisonment under Albedo’s watch, minus the physical abuse, of course. I’m glad Gaignun’s willing to give Faith an opportunity to help out. It gives her duty and purpose and something she can feel proud of. She needs a purpose to live, after all, especially now that she knows she isn’t a Realian.

I also liked Helmer’s appearance: it makes sense that he would be suspicious of Faith, and question Gaignun’s behavior. Both men are leaders, after all—no matter what Gaignun feels for Faith, he can never risk the lives of his Foundation. Sometimes responsibility trumps emotions. That scene added a nice piece of realism to the story, and a juicy complication. :3 Things can’t always go smoothly, can they?

Despite how this chapter opens up a bunch of questions regarding Faith’s existence as a human, already we’re learning plenty about her. Clearly, she’s not ordinary; she’s EXTRAordinary: a fast learner, a talented swordswoman, and much more. :) You’ve definitely shaped Faith into an intriguing character whom I can’t wait to learn more about in future episodes.
9/5/2014 c5 Aiselne Phoenix Nocturnus
First, thank you again SO much for patiently waiting for my reviews. I’m still loving your story! :)

Ch.5 is a great episode that digs deeply into Faith and Gaignun’s feelings—both feelings for each other, and feelings about themselves. We learn so much about their personalities in this episode, and already we can see a solid bond form between the couple. :3

Faith undergoes quite an emotional rollercoaster whenever she’s around Gaignun, doesn’t she? Not that I blame her; he and his U.R.T.V. brothers are clones, they look alike, so it’s only natural that Faith sees Albedo in Gaignun sometimes. Fortunately, she quickly realizes that Gaignun is absolutely opposite Albedo, yet at the same time she does find a subtle solace in being reminded of Albedo, too. Despite the psychopath’s abuse towards her, Albedo is still very important to Faith in some way, and I’m glad she’s mature enough to acknowledge that.

I also enjoyed your portrayal of Gaignun in this chapter. In the video games, Gaignun is almost always portrayed as perfect and in-control, so it’s easy to forget that, deep down, he’s still the youngest brother of the U.R.T.V.s. *cute!* He has insecurities like anyone else, after all. I just adored this image: “How often did he go to Rubedo, frightened every night? Practically every time . . . And every time that occurred 'Nigredo' was left alone, unneeded from either brothers who looked at each other for support. And for once, someone was asking him for help; something he had longed for a very long time.” Faith appreciates Gaignun’s trust, and he obviously feels the same as her. Already they share a sort of symbiotic relationship!

We get to see how, emotionally, Faith and Gaignun are surprisingly alike. Both have undergone various degrees of pain and abuse, and both have been neglected in the past, thus they understand each other. It was sad to read how Faith injures herself…and smart of Gaignun to realize her wounds were not only self-inflicted, but also proof that she was indeed human. “Realians, machines and even cyborgs are programmed to not inflict pain upon themselves, or others.” That was a very clever usage of Xenosaga’s subtle details to add greater realism to your story. :) And to realize Gaignun shares similar scars…wow, that just twisted my heart! You really know how to make me feel for your characters, my dear.

More of your beautiful imagery graced this chapter, too: I just can’t help but admire your way with words, especially describing a character’s surroundings (“sunlight against crisp ice”), and/or a character’s emotions (“Beneath her flesh and bones, in the cage of her body, her heart fluttered like the wings of a dove.” – I just LOVE that line! It says so much about Faith’s desire to be free!).

I’m sorry I only have time to read/review this one chapter right now, but believe me when I say I enjoyed Ch.5 very, very much. You’ve captured Faith and Gaignun’s personalities and emotions beautifully in this chapter, and I think it’s the best Bitter Sweet installment I’ve read so far. I eagerly look forward to Ch.6!
5/27/2014 c4 Aiselne Phoenix Nocturnus
I love Faith’s curiosity; it’s a cute side of her personality, but it also reinforces the fact of how sheltered her life used to be under Albedo’s watch. Now free, Faith absorbs the tinniest details of the Durandal, not to mention the tinniest touches/affections from Gaignun. She’s so curious, observant, but also sensitive, and I think those subtle qualities add a nice, almost innocent, layer of depth to Faith’s personality.

You can’t blame Faith for noting the physical similarities between the U.R.T.V.s—and inevitably comparing Gaignun and Jr. to Albedo. Naturally the cloned brothers look alike, but they definitely don’t behave alike. “They may have all been family yet she couldn't connect them all as the same people. They wouldn't treat her the same way she had been treated by Albedo. Or at least Faith prayed.” I’m glad (and relieved) that Faith is able to differentiate between the U.R.T.V.s, and she’s wise enough to realize Albedo’s personality is a rare case, not the standard by which all other U.R.T.V.s follow.

Of all things, I enjoyed Shion’s brief inquiry about Faith’s blood. As morbid as I sound, I’ve sometimes wondered what kinds of “blood” pumps inside some of Xenosaga’s non-organic life forms. The video games depicted bloodshed, yes, but might it been real blood or synthetic? I’m pointing out this small detail because, like Faith, I’ve also pondered the philosophical question: does real or fake blood make a Realian/person/etc. any more or less “human”?

And chaos, bless his soul, is always a sweetheart. This quote perfectly captured his gentle demeanor: “He was the first person she had met in her years who she actually felt truly safe around.” I think everybody feels that way about chaos. Everything about him just makes one feel safe and secure when around him. :3 Even Faith, a perfect stranger, instantly feels at ease in the seraph’s presence.

chaos’ mentoring of Faith was nicely in-character for the boy: he’s gentle with her, understanding her delicate condition and inexperience, yet chaos is also firm, knowing Faith needs to be able to defend herself no matter the condition. He doesn’t begin Faith’s training on an “easy mode” in the simulation, either. It’s that combination of chaos’ kindness complimented by his lack of patronizing Faith that makes him such an ideal trainer for the girl. After all, the only way Faith can get stronger (physically and mentally) is by pushing herself. She’s obviously stronger than she realizes…perhaps stronger than anybody realizes, except for maybe the all-knowing chaos. ;)

Thanks as always for being patient with me and my tardy reviews. I’m still enjoying this story very much!
4/22/2014 c3 Aiselne Phoenix Nocturnus
Honey, nothing about this chapter was “really bad” as your opening A/N noted. You did an excellent job diving into Faith’s emotions here, especially regarding her extremely low self-esteem. It breaks my heart to read her thoughts; how she’s convinced she’s “useless,” unwanted, and valueless. As much as I love Albedo, I hate what his abuse has done to this poor Realian’s mind!

And yet, despite everything Albedo did to her, Faith struggles to sever her ties with him. Albedo was all Faith ever had, so it doesn’t surprise me that a part of her longs to return to her master, even if reuniting with Albedo would surely mean more pain for Faith’s mind and body. She knows nothing else, after all, so it’s almost as though Albedo has “brain-washed” his doll. It’s so sad, but it’s also perfectly in Albedo’s insane character. One of the many reasons why I adore Faith’s story is because you’ve thoroughly detailed the physical and emotional trauma Kirschwassers undergo whilst in Albedo’s possession.

One of my favorite quotes in this chapter was the one regarding Albedo’s “scratching away” his 667 serial number “until he was ripping out tendons and bones." There’s no doubt in my mind that Albedo was capable of mutilating himself so disturbingly.

Gaignun was wonderful in Ch.3 (then again, when is he *not* wonderful, right? ;)). He’s a perfect gentleman around Faith, and I liked how this chapter mentioned how Helmer raised Nigredo to be courteous and professional…undoubtedly to prepare Gaignun for becoming chairman of the Kukai Foundation. And it’s a dire contrast from Albedo; unlike his mad brother, Gaignun respects all women equally. :3 Manners don’t prevent Gaignun from the possibility that Faith (or specifically Albedo) could be a threat to the Foundation, of course, but first and foremost, Gaignun behaves like a gentleman to his young lady. :3

Slowly but surely Faith seems to be coming to terms with this “new chapter” in her life—that she doesn’t have to worry about Albedo anymore, and that Gaignun is someone to be trusted. That there is indeed a better world outside Albedo’s little insane asylum. :) This story has just begun, but I’m already feeling very proud (and happy) for Faith being brave enough to take the necessary first steps in starting her new (and hopefully better) life. :)

Keep up the great work, my dear!
2/24/2014 c2 Aiselne Phoenix Nocturnus
Welcome back, my dear! I’m very sorry for not sending my review sooner (busy life leaves little time for fanfiction, I’m afraid). Thank you for always being so patient with me. I’m so happy to see you writing again! *hugs*

Your portrayal of Faith is always a joy to read. I’ve always admired her personality, especially how she is so different from typical Kirschwassers. Already she stands up to Albedo, which is no small feat for anybody, let alone a frail, malnourished Realian like Faith. Even in her emancipated form Faith is still a strong-willed young lady. Yet at the same time, she’s conflicted by society’s expectations of Realians; how she is “supposed” to look like a carbon copy of her doll-like sisters, how she is “supposed” to lack a will, and so forth. Faith clearly is her own individual person, yet sadly, nobody has given her a chance to prove it…until now, of course. ;)

I especially enjoyed the scene when Faith stabs Albedo. He is a very intimidating character, yet over time Faith has come to understand/anticipate how the madman behaves (even though, as this chapter states, Albedo’s unstable personality can “snap like no tomorrow.” Very true!). Albedo obviously harbors a level of interest/fascination for Faith, though that clearly doesn’t stop him from hurting her like all the other Kirschwassers. The fact that Albedo even gave Faith a pet name further proves that he considers her different, perhaps special, from his other “dolls.”

The imagery in your stories is always lovely. Some of my favorite lines included how Kirschwassers’ hair resembles “freshly woven spider's silk; elegant, gorgeous and stronger then steel.” I also liked how you wrote Albedo’s maniacal laughter and how it chills Faith to her core (how could it not?): “It sounded like it came from the depths of hell; belonging to an empty hall of a Mental Institute.” Very suspenseful images to heighten the creepy scene. Albedo’s gaudy, prophetic dialogue was also great, my favorite being: "And you are granted the honour of being witness to my greatness. I will give you the right to say that you are 'alive'." Indeed, it sounds like something Albedo would say.

I liked how this chapter illustrates Gaignun’s feelings towards Realians overall—how they were all designed in Sakura’s likeness, and as such, Gaignun feels a sense of duty and connection to Sakura, to Jr., and to all Realians. It makes perfect sense, too, considering all the Realians inhabiting the Durandal. Of course, Gaignun harbors an even deeper connection to Faith. He cares for her because she’s a Realian, yes, but already he realizes Faith is more than meets the eye.

Overall, another enjoyable, nicely-written chapter, my friend! I look forward to chapter 3 and beyond. :D
4/23/2011 c1 Aiselne Phoenix Nocturnus
I must admit that I’m surprised that you’re rewriting “Bitter Sweet,” especially since the original isn’t yet finished. But that’s fine with me. ^_^ I love the original “Bitter Sweet,” and I’m psyched to be able to relive the story all over again. ^.^

Ah, see, I never get bored of Albedo acting sadistic, but I still pity Kirschwassers whenever he has one of his episodes. ;_; You do have quite a talent for writing Kirschwasser fanfics, my friend. “My Master” was a fine one-shot, and the original “Bitter Sweet” is much more evolved from a typical Kirschwasser tale.

This retake’s Ch.1 nicely chronicles Faith’s abusive relationship with Albedo. However, the major difference with this story is how much your writing skills have improved. Although this chapter was short, it was nicely detailed to bring out Faith’s fear. There’s less dialogue here, but it’s more about emotion – the physical and mental suffering Faith undergoes whilst living with a madman.

Already, Faith’s character feels a little more mature in this retake, compared to the early episodes from the original “Bitter Sweet.” Regardless of pain, she is still willing to get back on her feet and persevere. She doesn’t seem willing to allow Albedo to break her. I’m also pleased that Faith extends her concern towards her Kirschwasser sisters. Based on the original “Bitter Sweet,” the Kirschwassers were not technically Faith’s sisters. If such is the case in this retake, then it’s so sweet that Faith considers Kirschwassers to be her sisters, regardless of blood. The fact that Faith cares about her sisters (even considers them “sisters”) nicely brings out Faith’s compassionate side. So just in Ch.1 alone, I’m already seeing improvements in Faith’s personality.

Short chapter? That’s okay with me. This episode felt like a little teaser/prologue to set the stage and get readers ready for what’s to come in this fic!
3/7/2011 c1 6masterthief-extrodinare
This is so awesome! I actually just found your Bitter Sweet story a couple weeks ago and I love it! I love this story very much.

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