6/1/2015 c10 Guest
Enjoying this so far keep up the good work!
Enjoying this so far keep up the good work!
6/17/2014 c12 13DasewigGewitter
Despite playing about a bit with the storyline in Bishop's canonical work, this was fun to read. Sometimes experimentation can lead to interesting places.
Your later chapters are becoming more developed. The earlier ones seemed to jump and speed along a little too quickly. As much as I'm interested in seeing new chapters, I'd also like to see some of the older ones fleshed out with more detail. Spend some more time in them.
Beyond that, there are just a few spelling/grammatical errors here and there. Again, later chapters seem to have less of that. Anyway, keep writing. I'll be back to keep reading.
Despite playing about a bit with the storyline in Bishop's canonical work, this was fun to read. Sometimes experimentation can lead to interesting places.
Your later chapters are becoming more developed. The earlier ones seemed to jump and speed along a little too quickly. As much as I'm interested in seeing new chapters, I'd also like to see some of the older ones fleshed out with more detail. Spend some more time in them.
Beyond that, there are just a few spelling/grammatical errors here and there. Again, later chapters seem to have less of that. Anyway, keep writing. I'll be back to keep reading.
2/15/2014 c10 Fathom
Great story so far. You are doing a great job of developing the story and characters. Please continue...
Great story so far. You are doing a great job of developing the story and characters. Please continue...
2/14/2014 c10 Trucina
Yes! Fresh BJ stories! Oh I love this books, and I really like Surreal. And your Surreal is great. I'm interested in your story for real now. But please, don't end it in one big blood bath. I don't think that you would do it, but none the less, I beg you not to, because I would hate for it to end that way. Please, more?
Yes! Fresh BJ stories! Oh I love this books, and I really like Surreal. And your Surreal is great. I'm interested in your story for real now. But please, don't end it in one big blood bath. I don't think that you would do it, but none the less, I beg you not to, because I would hate for it to end that way. Please, more?
12/17/2013 c8 Lexi
Hi, I really like what you've written so far. Your plot is an interesting departure from the black jewels trilogy, and I can't wait to read the next chapter. The one criticism I could offer is that your transitions between chapters could be smoother. Also it is very difficult to successfully emulate a writer's voice especially one like an bishop. With future chapters I would more closely examin the mannerisms of some of the characters. Yeah. I hope that wasn't too harsh, and I am looking forward to reading chapter nine!
Hi, I really like what you've written so far. Your plot is an interesting departure from the black jewels trilogy, and I can't wait to read the next chapter. The one criticism I could offer is that your transitions between chapters could be smoother. Also it is very difficult to successfully emulate a writer's voice especially one like an bishop. With future chapters I would more closely examin the mannerisms of some of the characters. Yeah. I hope that wasn't too harsh, and I am looking forward to reading chapter nine!