Yellowing Paper

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Authors Note: I'm sorry, but where the HELL are all the beano fanfics? I may be a sexy young woman but it doesn't mean that I don't think the beano is possibly the best comic in the entire world. you all feel the same too. admit it.

Disclaimer: I don't own the beano, but maybe I'll work for them someday.

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Chapter 1: Always in Trouble

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Dennis swung his legs beneath his desk, groaning out loud and constantly looking over at the clock. On a couple occasions he kicked Walter, the meek, thin and pale young boy who was unfortunately seated in front of him. Accidentally of course.

"Ow! Sir sir!" Walter squealed, his hand shooting up in full view of the teacher.

The old, weary man attired in traditional black cloak and motorboard snapped his chalk against the blackboard with gritted teeth. "WHAT Walter?" he demanded through an expression so terrifying that Walter cowered back in his seat.

"N-nothing."

"Good. Now..." he prattled away with his mathematics lecture while Dennis gave him another harsh kick with his heavy shoe. "DENNIS STOP IT!" he squealed in a whisper.

Dennis just smirked and leaned forward, "stop what? I didn't DO anything."

He just sniffed, adjusting his spectacles and turning away from the burly and terrifying boy. Dennis just never seemed to express any form of sympathy for anybody at all. "You're so mean..." he mumbled.

"Oh boo hoo." he sneered, "try growing some balls Walt."

"DENNIS!" roared the lecturer, waving his broken bit of chalk at him angrily. "why are you interrupting my lesson! Do I have to send you out again for the fifth time today!"

To be honest, Dennis wanted nothing more. He smiled pleasantly, reached out, and gave Walter a heavy smack against the skull, causing his glasses to fall from his thin face and onto the floor. "MY GLASSES!" he squealed franatically.

"THATS IT YOU LITTLE BASTARD! get out now!"

He gave the teacher a pleasant fuck you as he shifted his strong bulk out of the chair, stepping on Walters glasses on the way out.

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Irritated as always, Minnie's dad stormed through the house with a newspaper in his hand and fire in his eyes. He clutched onto his trousers, his belt undone and toilet paper trailing from his shoe. "MINNIE!" he roared, "MINNIE GET THE HELL OUT HERE! WHERE ARE YOU!"

He stomped through the kitchen, "I KNOW you put laxatives in my tea again, you BRAT! Get out here so I can give you what you deserve!" He waved his rolled up newspaper around threateningly, but there was only silence. He retreated into the garden to search further, unbeknown to him that little Minnie was hiding beneath the sink he just passed.

She slowly opened the door, stifling giggles as she crawled out. The adolescent's hair was messy and red, matching the color of her rosy cheeks. She slid out the kitchen door and behind her fathers back who was hollering her name out to the neighborhood.

She burst into laughter once she reached the first corner, falling to the floor on her knees, tears dripping down her cheeks. "I-I I'm SO FUNNY!" she snorted. It was too bad that there was no one to appreciate it. Taking a break between laughter, she checked her watch, noting that school had gotten out. Where the hell was Dennis?

Removing her beret and scratching her mop of red hair, she looked around, half expecting him to appear out of nowhere with a water pistol or catapult aimed directly at her. Unfortunately, a gabble of younger kids crossed her path, but that was it. Deciding he was being held after school, she figured the right thing to do was to go help him, after all, he was her best friend.

So quickly she went that she didnt' even see the skinny little nobody. "OOF!" she grunted, her ass hitting the asphalt. Walter just wailed, and then blinked in fright to realize it was Dennis's female counterpart.

"S-sorry Minnie." he stuttered .Her brows twisted into a sneer, "Not as sorry as you're gonna be!" she took a step forward, but before she could make her move he fell to his knees, sobbing. 'DON'T MINNIE! PLEASE!"

Surprised, she blinked. "what?"

He crumpled to the ground. "Please don't hit me today! I can't take it anymore!"

The girl was confused, and she rubbed her chin as she studied in the pathetic pile of blubber. "Walter... whats wrong? I always beat you up. It's almost like a daily ritual. " She cocked her head and smiled sweetly, "so cheer up and let me beat the crap out of you"

"NO!" he wailed. "This is the most terrible day of my life. I've broken my glasses, I've got bruises all over my legs, and my parents are going to get a DIVORCE!" Tears slid down his cheeks rapidly, and he wiped his nose with his sleeve, looking more childish than ever before.

Minnie just stood, stunned, "Wait... your mum and dad? They gonna split up?" she repeated, trying to understand the seriousness of his words. It was certainly something strange to hear, no one has ever gotten a divorce in Beanotown. Kids run wild, parents are abusive and citizens are terrorized daily by the strangest characters ever known to man, but Beanotown was still a place where modernity was at a standstill. There was only one black individual in their community (think of the kid from Ball Boy), Teachers still wore motorboards, and no one had ever divorced.

Of all the people for it to happen to, why Walter? "Um... its ok." she patted his back, not quite sure how to go about comforting him. His cries just worsened and all of a sudden she felt something strange muster up inside of her. Could it be genuine human compassion? She shivered at the feeling.

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Dennis leaned his head against his hands, sinking further into the chair as the boredom got more dire. He was once again the only child in detention, being watched over by the miserable teacher he had pissed off. Dennis didn't really count on being held after school, he just figured they'd send him home. Now it was 3rd hour and he couldn't stop thinking about how wrong he was.

All of a sudden, a flash of his best friends face caught his eye. He grinned and she smirked back, making a face from behind the window. Help Me, he mouthed, motioning towards his teacher who's nose was buried in a history book.

Minnie allowed her white pet rodent to scurry through the crack in the window and directly towards the mans feet.. It gnawed cutely on his hairy ankles, which caused the teacher to freeze and then leap out of his chair with a squeal.

"Whats wrong?"

"A m-m-muh- moOUUUSE!" he screamed, balancing on the chair and wrapping his cloak around his legs girlishly. "H-H-H-HELP ME Dennis! FOR GOD SAKES!"

He smiled. "Who would have thought you were scared of a stupid little mouse sir."

"D-Dennis! PLEASE!"

He rested his chin on his thumbs, "Interesting. You want my help. And yet you're keeping me here for another 2 hours. Hm..."

"Oh come on boy!"

"Very very interesting..."

"OH FINE! Just get the god damn mouse and you're free to go!" his knees knocked together, as his face paled at the sight at the diseased creature. "HURRY THE HELL UP!"

"Lets cut down on the language sir." He tutted, neatly picking up the mouse and letting it scurry into his pocket. "He's so cute sir. Do you want to pet him?"

"NO! NOW GET OUT!" He shot an angry finger towards the door, and Dennis left with a big, smug smile.