Varden had already had too much to drink.

He was in the state of mind between total unconsciousness and limited awareness. What he was aware of was that the barmaid was wearing a low top, and that she seemed to have stopped charging him for drinks a good half-hour ago. Her face and voice were fuzzy and out of focus, but she didn't seem to be talking to him, so that wasn't a big deal. Then again, maybe she was talking to him. Her voice was a little louder, her face a little less fuzzy. She was closer to him, he concluded. She was slipping his empty tankard out of his hand, and she didn't seem to be refilling it. Instead, she was leaning across the counter and saying something to him. Her low-cut shirt was painfully obvious. Varden forced himself to listen to what she was saying.

"—Pretty cute"

"What?"

"I said, you're pretty cute."

"Who is?"

"You are. "

"What?"

"In fact, I don't think I'd mind if you kissed me."

Whoa, what did she say? His mind was moving a little faster now, and it didn't quite know what it was hearing.

"But since you're a little more than drunk, I'll do the honors"

She'd do what? What was she doing? Why was she so close all of a sudden?

Then it dawned on the still conscious part of his mind—she was going to KISS him!

Unfortunately, no matter how much he'd like to stop her, his body was not going to help him out. It seemed oddly numb and detached. All too fast, the low shirted barmaid was across the counter, on his lap, and plastered to his face.

He numbly tried to push her away, but his hand accidentally made contact with a squishy bit, and judging by the fact that she only kissed him harder, she had taken the gesture the WRONG way.

This was not the way he had planned to spend his evening. What he'd meant to do was spend a nice candlelit dinner with his favorite Elvin girl. Of course, he didn't have the guts to just ask her out on a date. Instead he had said; "Gee, Lei'ella, the hotel food sucks, fancy going out to eat?" And she said; "I suppose you plan to STEAL the food eh?" Then without even giving Varden a chance to answer, she whacked him on the head with a rolled up piece of paper and told him to get the hell out.

So now he was at the pub, and some barmaid was taking the very place he had hoped Lei'ella might be tonight. Which so just wasn't fair, but he didn't seem to have the willpower to pull away.

"Hey you two, cut it OUT!"

Varden sat blinking in surprise, ice water dribbling down his shirt. The barmaid had jumped out of his lap as if stung, and the bar had gone silent, and everyone was watching him. He didn't know what he expected to see when he turned to face his attacker, but whatever he had guessed was certainly not what he got.

All he got was a pair of lovely golden eyes, looking suspiciously wet.