[[It's based on "Frühlings Erwachen" from Frank Wedekind - so the main language of the characters will be german, that's why their english will not be perfect!]]

January 21

What is this even all about? Without knowing anything I know anything.
I feel like I already know what happenes everywhere and that kills me inside.

I'm not a clever boy, no, either an idiot, I'm...

What is this all about?

Why?

Did a god or an angel or whatever there is - clearly nothing - chose to fill me up with anger?

Or do I just suffer from an anti-empathy illness that's crawling up from my inside to my heart?

I don't know how to respond, I don't know how to live.

In fact: All I know is nothing and nothing is more than I should know.

Everyone loves life, everyone hates it. Everyone has good habits, everyone has bad habits.

Is there even a god for me? for me alone?

Why do I ask when I don't believe?

Do I wanna try to believe?

What's this all about?

Would I want someone? Someone in which I could believe? I don't know. I know nothing and everything, I know who I am.

January 23

I don't get the point in living a life, when the life is full of crap, full of shit, full of people
who are incorrectly and angry and who just don't deserve to live.

But who am I to judge? Some little school boy, nothing, a little mouse.

While some jerks are going out the whole night, others suffer and die.
I hate life, life hate's me. It's just not fair.

Why?

I wonder what other people would say to me if there could read this. Is my english good enough?

IS THERE EVEN A GOOD ENOUGH? ..who can judge?

January 25

I hate life - I love life.
What is life?
Is there a rule how to live? A measure?

February 02

Nothing. There is nothing.

I feel blue, alone, blue, alone, help?

I hate everything, everyone likes me - why?

I hate to live I hate life I hate to think thoughts there thoughts everywhere
Who decided that there are "." and "," why

everything is meaningless.

February 12

I sound like a little annoying kid, or maybe an old grandpa.
..or even suicidal..or even worse. But I just have too much thoughts going on in my mind.
I can't anymore, I don't want to.

No one is listening, no one will, I'm alone. Moritz is the little trouble guy, I have to help him.
Not the other way round.

February 13

Answers? No one will give me them. Whatever, I don't know what this is all about

What's your Problem Moritz?

February 17

The poor have nothing and everything and the rich everything an nothing

..what's the meaning in having beautiful things? u die anywhere

February 19

Do you wanna grow old Moritz?

March 01

He's gone

March 02

Maybe I'm acting over dramatic. I should go back to my normal judge thing attitude

live the normal life

it's not my fault

it's..

March 04

I read every book we had. What to do now?

March 10

Everything is meaningless unless you have something in your life for what you're living for

March 12

Love is a construction from our head, saying to us that "we're not alone and everythings fine"

March 13

Nothings fine. Love hurts;hurts Everyone dies

March 14

Can you hear me Moritz? Are you still there?

March 20

in the end your the fool who sits alone in the bed crying about how you hate your life.

March 22

Why did god - or whatever - created us with so many different emotions?

Why do we have to live in such a crap?

Why do people hate?
Why am I angry whith my best friend?
Why do I feel angry about everything, Why am I angry with myself, Why are there tears in my eyes?
Why could I cry and beat everyone I see in exactly that moment?

What's wrong with me, or is there nothing wrong? Does everyone feel so in decades or is it me?
Am I ill?
Am I normal?

April 01

I don't know what to do, I have too many thoughts, I hate the night.

It's so silent, thoughts everywhere, the silence everywhere.

Silence is louder than every sound I know.

I can hear so many things at night.

April 02

I don't want to hear silence, I want to have fun, but fun equals something called

a person who is with you

and know what?

I don't have that kind of person

April 10

i could had one

April 11

I hate it

I hate Moritz, I love Moritz

April 14

I miss ..

April 19

You are tired? Nice and I hate the night - who is awake with me?
No one, so next time I wanna stay home to prefer to be there alone then I can cry

April 20

They said I can not come back to the cemetery
They said I should start to live my life

May 03

I have to watch over you Moritz..

May 10

Went back to the cemetary

May 11

In front of you I can not cry and that's the problem. I have to go home now Moritz

May 15

I am alone. But hey it's melchior right? He can do everything! Our golden boy

May 19

If you could feel what I feel you would know how it hurts

and you would come back to me

u would kiss me and stay awake with me, you would do everything to help me

perhaps i'm just selfish

but if I'm not selfish, I'm going to die

June 05

When the moon awakes, the thoughts are starting to shine brighter

June 05

it's a hole

June 05

it was over from the beginning

June 07

My last time here

June 11

It was warm, a very nice day but I guess it's just dark for you isn't it?

June 12

Soon the sun will shine brighter for you

June 13

wait for me

June 14

I'm coming soon

June 15

Bye