(I don't own Babylon 5 JMS dose)

It had been a long game and well fought but it was down to the final few minutes an there scrum half had dropped the ball at their own twenty two, Dan had absolutely decimate the poor bugger when he had hit him but he went and didn't get back up.

I felt a sudden wave of dread I was the only one on the field that had any experience in the number two slot on the front row, our substitute Morgan couldn't make it as he had broken his leg a month ago, I hated playing hooker my neck would ache for days, so reluctantly I moved forward from the second row into a position I only played twice before.

I wrapped my arms around Dai and Rod heavyset twins and my friends for six years I felt Thomas and Gavin's heads hat my hips and the slight judder as Dylan and Morgan locked into the flanks Mike would be the last to lock in we waited for the referee, I didn't know the man personally but he had been pretty neutral during the whole game.

He walked between the Athletic and our packs making sure we were the correct distance apart and I couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of unease

"Crouch!" he shouted and the feeling increased as we bent down

"Touch!" I could see Dai and Rod touch there opposite numbers on the shoulder quickly; the world began to bleed away from my vision as the adrenalin kicked into over drive and all I could here was my heart beat and my own breath

"Pause!" It came as a distant mumble

"Engage" we came together in an almighty clash of flesh and bone it held for what felt like a minute before I felt that we were going straight down and from the angle I knew this would hurt, I was taller than my stocky opposite number and I knew my head would hit first, I watched the muddy earth come at me and like a train wreck I couldn't look away as I hit, I felt a sudden searing brining in my neck then nothing.

(?)

I awoke what felt like an hour latter surrounded by white emptiness.

"Hello" I called only for it to echo right back at me, "wonderful" I mumbled

"Isn't it just" I jumped surprise and fear then whirled around to find a very familiar face

"John, John de Lancie?"

"Yes and no my fine simian friend"

"What"

"Oh I really had hoped that your micro brain could put it together"

I felt a hot shot of rage run through my system and made to move at him before I realised just who it was I was dealing with

"Ah you seem to have realised your good fortune" he smiled a vile and repugnant grin

"The good fortune of a dream?" his smile disappeared

"Dreams are flights of fancy for the subconscious" he said poking me in the just hard enough to sting "and I assure you my fine Neanderthal I am not" I rubbed my chest where he had poked me

"If this isn't a dream then its sum kind of drug induced trip" I was convinced after all I have seen documentaries on this kind of thing before a chemical reaction from the morphine or whatever anaesthetic they had used on me "obviously I am on my way to a hospital and they needed to drug me for the trip"

"Such a convincing argument my late friend"

"What am I late for?" that caused him to chuckle riley

"Allow me to put it into perspective for you" he transformed instantly into a young John Cleese in a long rain coat, a desk materialised in front of me and he was carrying a bird cage with a doll inside it as he got closer to the desk I saw that the doll was me, a bell seemed to echo around me not a heavy church bell but a light entrance bell used in certain old school shops.

"Hello I wish to register a complaint"

'Oh no' I thought

"Hello miss" he smiled as he looked at me and a voice came from behind the desk

"What do you mean by miss" it was a young Michel Palin

"I'm sorry I have a cold" his smile seemed to twist somehow as he continued "I wish to register a complaint"

"Sorry were closed for lunch"

"Never mind that my lad I wish to complain about this human I bought from this very boutique not half an hour ago"

"Oh yeas the European Welsh what wrong with him"

"I'll tell you what's wrong with him my lad he's dead" I winced at this now macabre seen "that's what's wrong with him"

"No, no he's just asleep" I winced again

"Look my lad I know a dead human when I see one and I'm looking at one right now"

"No, no it's just in a drug induced trip" he smiled at me "remarkable breed the European Welsh beautiful plumage"

"The plumage don't enter into it my lad its stone dead"

"No, no he is resting"

"oh alright then if he is resting I shall just wake him up then" he brought the doll and the cage up to his face "Hello" he shouted "wake up I have a nice all day breakfast waiting for you if you wake up" the Palin pushed the cage

"See he moved"

"No he didn't you pushed him"

"I did not"

"Yes you did" he grabbed the doll from the cage and brought it up to his mouth "Hello" he shouted again "Hello" he then began bashing the doll against the desk and with each impact I twitched and winced "now that's what I call a dead human"

"No, no its stuned" he said "you stuned him"

"look my lad I have had just about enough of this" he said as the Palin, the desk, the cage and the doll vanished, he was now looking directly at me "you have passed on, you are a late human"

"N, no" I am fine this is just a weird trip from the pain medication that is all

"You are no more, you have ceased to be, and you have expired to meet your maker" he indicated to himself "you are a late human, you're a stiff, bereft of life you rest in peace, your are pushing up the daisies, you have ran down the curtain and joined the choir eternal, you are an ex human"

I had sunk to my knees and wept.

"Some people you have to tell them till your blue in the face."

I couldn't process what I had been told, I understood it but I couldn't seem to truly understand that I was dead I am here I can feel I can comprehend somewhat.

"But all is not lost to you my little friend"

"W, what?"

"I have need of you my simple friend" he smiled at me "you see even I with my limitless power must obey certain laws" he seemed very disgruntled at the thought "but as with every law there are loop holes that can be exploited"

"What are you talking about?"

"I shall explain it simply I have need of an agent of a sorts" he huffed indignantly "you are to be that agent"

"Why me"

"Why not I hate it when things go to waste and your death would be so"

"That is about as clear as mud"

"Ok let me explain it to you" he said as if talking two a three year old "you are not special, and you are not the only one, think of this universe like a tool shop"

"A tool shop"

"Yes you don't use a screw driver to hammer in a nail do you?"

"No"

"No, now where was I" he paused for a second "ah yes, you are just a tool for a specific job nothing special, we often take individuals after they die in this world when we need a job doing" he said tapping his lower lip "you see we cannot interfere directly that is the law that is why we each have tools or agents to do that for us"

"Why"

"For sport of course"

"Really?"

"Really every time we insert an agent it splinters the universe one continues on as if nothing happened the other is changed for better or worse" he smiled "we make bets and see whether or not the universe in play is better off in the long run"

"Why the hell would I do that?"

"Because it will give you a chance to fulfil one of your wildest dreams and pissoff some authoritarian ass holes in the process"

"Which ones?"

"Understanding is a three-edged sword"

"Oooooooooooohh" I smiled I knew who he meant from that one statement alone "very well I accept" he smiled at me "but" the smile dropped "I wish for three things if I'm going to do this"

"Very well ask away"

"I want the complete knowledge of all technology from the star trek universe from the powers in the dominion war, and a complete understanding of how to create and apply the knowledge with in the universe I am going to"

"No that is too much"

"Klingon, Cardassian, dominion and Romulan"

"No still too much"

"Klingon, Cardassian from the Dominion war and Kirk federation tech up to and including his death"

"Done" he smiled and snapped his fingers "and third?

"Before I want to know if I am being inserted or born into this new universe"

"Both, you will be inserted and fused with your counterpart when he reaches the appropriate age your souls will fuse and you will be one"

"Very well my final wish is to be born into an influential family that way I can get things started earlier"

The smile he had seemed to split his face for a moment and I could only imagine what the devious bugger was thinking but I knew I wasn't going to like it, he snapped his fingers and once again I was gone.