Join the Family Business (Girl Genius version)

An adaptation of the song "Join the Family Business" from the musical "Young Frankenstein" by Mel Brooks

Lyrics reworked by bissek


We've been the scourge of Romania
Since six-o-one,
Passed on for generations,
Father to son,

Descended from Mongols,
As cruel as we can be,
Don't risk my curse
It would be worse
Embrace your fam'ly tree!

Join the fam'ly bus'ness,
Learn the fam'ly trade
Make yourself a Jaeger,
Make the world afraid!

Join the fam'ly bus'ness,
You must take the fam'ly name,
Follow in our footsteps,
Set the continent aflame!

The Roqueforts we often raided
For their Roquefort cheese,
The Rothschilds we pillaged
For their wines,
Hershey's for their choc'lates
And Liptons for their teas,
When it comes to sacking Europe,
You can't beat the Heterodynes!

Join the fam'ly bus'ness,
Build a clank or two,
Keep the Long War going,
It all depends on you!
Uphold the fam'ly honor,
You must toe the fam'ly line,
Join the fam'ly bus'ness
Join the fam'ly bus'ness,
Join the fam'ly bus'ness,
For your name is Heterodyne!

Join the fam'ly bus'ness,
Show some fam'ly pride,
Make yourself a Death Ray,
And raze the countryside!

Repair the fam'ly castle
Let the Doom Bell toll on high!
Let the Fifty Fam'lys hear
And listen to them cry!

As you know predestination
From the day of your creation
Has determined your vocation
That's a fact.

Because you are a Heterodyne
You have no choice
You can't decline
So show some spine
It's time to sign
The fam'ly pact.

This is your fate
Become a Heterodyne
Before it's too late!

We know you won't regret it,
You should express your willingness
Why not acquiesce, reassess,
You're under stress

Make some constructs, crush the Geisters,
Terrorize some Burgomeisters
Take your knife, remake a life
It ain't no fuss!

Join the fam'ly enterprise,
Best be prudent,
Best be wise!
Time to open up your eyes
Join the fam'ly bus'ness

Join the fam'ly enterprise,
Best be prudent,
Best be wise!
Time to open up your eyes
Join the fam'ly bus'ness

Join the fam'ly enterprise,
Best be prudent,
Best be wise!
Time to open up your eyes
Come on come clean
Don't make a scene
You're simply not a Clay!

Join the fam'ly bus'ness
Learn the family trade
Make yourself a Jaeger
Make the world afraid
This is one position
That you never can resign

Do not make a fuss,
There's nothing to discuss
You must be one of us...

Young Heterodyne!


A/N: This started out when I posted a link to the original song in a Spacebattles thread about a Girl Genius crossover fix. One of the other posters mentioned that all that really needed to be done to make it match perfectly was to switch the name Frankenstein to Heterodyne. Well, it took a little more than that, but it wasn't all that hard.