I don't own Fiddler on the Roof. I feel somewhat bad for writing this, because there isn't any real chemistry there, I just really like both characters. Anyway, to make up for that I am making this otherwise cannon, which means one-sided because let's face it, it's impossible to swing it so that Motel loves anyone but Tzeitel (but that doesn't necessarily mean it'll be all internalised, almost a year passes in the intermission for me to play with). Perchick on the other hand shows hardly any emotion in the movie. For this reason, this is cannon to the movie, not the play, because in the play he sings the 'Now I Have Everything' song and cares about more than politics and breaking tradition. So yes, it's angsty, and not fair to Hodel, who I absolutely adore, but it had to be done. Enjoy my take on Perchik's character and the hidden thoughts behind his actions. P.S sorry if the quotes are off...


'This is not mine. Perchik, this is Motel Kamzoil.'

I swore that at that moment I could have turned and run. No, I wanted to say, no I can't teach your daughters, I can't share your meal. I wasn't supposed to feel like this about anybody. I was supposed to bury myself in politics and maybe one day die for a cause and know that I contributed something important to this changing world. I didn't believe in emotions like this, especially for someone that I'd never met before. It wasn't logical, and I thrived on logic.

The tailor, as I later found out he was, was in no way grand or eye-catching. He was clearly poor, not well-dressed or well-groomed. He had a scruffy beard and an old pair of glasses that sat awkwardly on his crooked nose, a flat hat on his head and prayer shawl at his waist like the rest of us. He held himself like a dog that had been kicked, as though any wrong move would end things. All in all, he wasn't the sort of person one was supposed to fall in love with. He was fairly plain and a little odd, to be frank, but I couldn't help but see something more in him. Without a word spoken, I knew his face would be drifting in my mind for days at least and, as he exchanged a secret look with the young woman beside him who was clearly as smitten with him as he was with her (what was it about him?), I cursed my luck for the thousandth time and then scolded myself for it because luck is no more than an idea over which we have complete control.

Tevye was introducing me to the others now, telling his two youngest daughters that I would be teaching them.

'I'm a very good teacher' I added to his description without thought.

I'd say I don't know why I said it but deep down I do. I said it for his sake. I said it like a foolish youth risking something important to impress a girl, idiotic stunts and cocky statements to draw oohs and ahhs from the lips of some pretty young lady in hopes that she'd someday send me a smile. Only it wasn't a smile I wanted and it wasn't a girl I was trying to impress. Though I knew it to be illogical, I had this twisted idea in the back of my head that Motel would see how talented I was, how kind and confident in my abilities, and fall willingly into my arms. I knew as I said it how stupid it sounded and turned my eyes quickly to the nearest girl to try to explain it away.

'I heard that the rabbi who must praise himself has a congregation of one' said said with an air of importance.

I liked this girl, Hodel. She wasn't afraid to speak her mind and I could see that, with a little encouragement, she may break from the stiff traditions stifling this little town. I made it my mission to help her out of it, give her a mind of her own, starting by complementing her wit.

She smiled as though I had told her I loved her and I wondered what I'd done. Then again, this may not have been such a bad thing after all, she was pretty and seemed to have a little more of a brain on her than most women in these little villages, so perhaps it wouldn't be all bad. I may wish to change traditions, but I'm not so deluded as to think it will be acceptable to woo a man any day soon. I'd never pictured myself with a woman, always kind of thinking I'd end up alone, but maybe she wouldn't be so bad if I absolutely had to choose- only if it came down to it though.

After that we all went about setting tables and washing at the well and generally getting things ready. There wasn't much talk. My eyes stayed on Motel for the remainder of the evening. I saw him whispering with Tzeitel, smiling at her words despite the concern in his expression. I saw how he bent his head in towards her so that she could hear his words and wondered what it must be like to be that close to him. I wondered also why I cared so much, a man that hadn't said two words to me, but I was like that. I could tell early on somebody's character and the way he looked at Tzeitel told me that he was a good person, kind and thoughtful and willing to do anything for the one he loved. If only that could be me.

Afterwards he looked nervous as he approached Reb Tevye, as though he had a question but changed his mind at last minute, instead wishing the man 'good Sabbath'. The meal passed as usual and the food was good, if not abundant, and before long we were retiring to bed. Tevye left on 'important business' directly after the meal. I couldn't help but ask myself what business a milkman could have so late in the evening.

That night I dreamt of Motel. It was a welcome change from my usual dreams of red flags and horses, weapons and shouting and freedom. Instead I dreamt of lips on mine. I dreamt of his voice whispering to me that I was his own personal miracle, and it didn't seem blasphemous- it seemed reverent. I dreamt of what he would taste like, what he would smell like, the feel of hard planes of muscle beneath my hands and thin hips drawn close against my own. I dreamt of what it would be like to belong to someone, not to have someone belong to me which was my closest alternative as a man in this time and place. I dreamt that I fell asleep in his arms, nothing between us to stop me feeling the heat of his skin against my own. When I woke up I forgot for a moment that he wasn't there and was disappointed to find myself alone.

What had I gotten myself into this time?


Sorry, this is incredibly brief but it's basically just to see if anyone's interested- updated with a review :)