So I have literally gotten so many requests to do a prank story that I don't even remember who requested it now LOL. Also, it's a hilarious coincidence but Aini NuFire and I actually didn't plan to both post prank stories this week even though April Fool's is Sunday, it was a legit accident :P I hope you guys enjoy this though.
Also, I just have to say how much I freaking loved the Scoobynatural episode last night!
Title: Cas Wages War
Setting: S9 typical AU
Rating: K+ because angry Dean is vocal
Cas Wages War
Set Season 9
Dean grunted in frustration as he shuffled things around in his desk drawer. How the hell had all this stuff gotten in there anyway? It wasn't like he used half of it.
After unearthing multiple things he'd completely forgotten about, including a half eaten candy bar, he still hadn't found the one thing he'd been looking for to begin with. How hard was it to find a hole-punch? And a better question: why was he looking for one first thing in the morning?
He decided it just wasn't that important to him anymore—Sam would just have to punch his own holes—and began to shove the pile of junk back into the drawer when something else he didn't know was in there caught his eye.
Dean picked up the small packet. Itching powder. He grinned; it had been a long time since he'd used that on anyone. He must have bought it in anticipation for surprising Sam at some point, but had obviously forgotten about it. Well, no time like the present. They hadn't had a case for over two weeks now and they were all going stir-crazy. Hence why he was helping Sam file crap. He was kind of desperate.
Dean smirked as he left his room, glancing around and hearing Sam banging around in the kitchen getting breakfast—also apparently having given up his filing venture.
He was about to go to his younger brother's room when he heard the sound of the shower running and then saw that Cas' door was invitingly open. Dean glanced toward the shower room and then back to Cas' with a sudden thought. He'd pranked Sam with itching powder multiple times, he'd know what it was instantly, and though it would he hilarious to watch him realize what Dean had done, it would be a lot more fun to see Cas have absolutely no clue why he was itching so much.
Deciding there was no way he was passing up this opportunity, Dean slipped into Cas' room and found his clean clothes laid out nicely on the bed. Dean glanced over his shoulder once to make sure Sam wouldn't come along and ruin it, before he opened the itching powder and carefully sprinkled some of it inside Cas' t-shirt and, yep, even in his underwear. If you were gonna commit to a prank, you had to do it right.
Dean carefully tried to put the clothes back as he had found them as he heard the shower turn off. He hastily retreated from the room and started back down the hall toward the library, trying to wipe the grin from his face as the shower room door opened and Cas emerged with a towel wrapped around his waist.
"Good morning, Dean," the ex-angel said.
"Hey, Cas," Dean replied biting the inside of his cheek so he wouldn't start laughing. "Fresh coffee in the kitchen."
Cas nodded and Dean beat a hasty retreat, snickering to himself as he went to grab his own breakfast.
Sam looked up from a book he was reading at the kitchen table, frowning at his brother. "What?"
"Nothin'," Dean replied and grabbed a bowl for cereal.
Sam shook his head and went back to his book.
Cas entered a couple minutes later and Trouble instantly came to greet him before moving pointedly toward his food bowl in the corner.
"Hold on, Trouble," Cas said and grabbed the food, measuring it out and filling the bowl. Trouble mrowed happily and set to eating. Cas put the bag of food aside and frowned as he scratched under his arm. Dean quickly turned to stare at his cereal, taking a huge bite.
Cas got a cup of coffee and his own bowl of cereal and went to sit down at the table across from Dean.
"Any plans today?" he asked and frowned slightly again, shifting on the seat. Dean took a deep sip of his coffee.
"Uh, not really. Sam is trying to organize more of the library research stuff. I'm probably gonna make a run to the grocery store, so let me know if you need anything."
Cas reached below the table and his face scrunched up as he wiggled in his seat a bit. "Um, no, I think I'm okay."
Dean nearly lost it every time Cas went to scratch, looking more and more perturbed, but he was a professional so he kept his cool. The ex-angel was starting to wiggle around so much though that Sam finally glanced over at him.
"You okay, Cas?" he asked.
"Fine," Cas snapped and he stood up to take his bowl to the sink. He started to wash it then had to stop to scratch at his stomach with a wet hand, grunting a bit. He quickly left the room as soon as he was done washing his bowl and Dean got up to do the same.
"Need anything at the store Sammy? More fancy shampoo?" Dean asked his brother.
Sam rolled his eyes. "No, Dean, I'm fine. Just grab some fruit and vegetables for once, okay? You can't live off bacon!"
Dean snorted but was interrupted as Cas came hurrying back into the kitchen, fingers scrabbling all over his body now.
"Hey, what's up?" Dean asked as innocently as possible.
"Something's wrong," Cas grunted, twisting and trying to dig his fingers into his armpit and between his shoulder blades at the same time. "I can't stop the itching!"
Sam stood up with a frown. "Did you use a new soap or something?"
"No, the same one I always do!" Cas cried and growled as he scratched at his ribs. "It's infuriating!"
"Where exactly do you itch?" Sam asked.
"All over!" Cas snapped then let out a distressed growl and was forced to scratch his crotch. Dean had to cough to hide his smirk.
"Even there?" he asked.
"Yes, even there!" Cas cried then noticed the hunter smiling. "Dean! This isn't funny! It could be a curse!"
That broke through Dean's 'professional' exterior and he folded in half, laughing uproariously.
"Dean!" Sam snapped. "Seriously?"
"I'm sorry, I can't, it's just too good!" Dean got out between laughs, wiping his eyes. "Don't worry, it's nothing serious."
"Wait," Sam glanced between Cas, still scratching desperately, and his laughing brother and seemed to put two-and-two together. He gave an exasperated sigh. "Oh my god, Dean, you didn't put itching powder in his clothes."
Dean only grinned with a snort. "I did!" and then he started to laugh harder.
Cas gave him a look of betrayal and Sam grabbed the ex-angel's arm, steering him back toward the dormitory ward. "Why are you perpetually five?" Sam demanded with a longsuffering look. "Come on, Cas, just go take a rinse off in the shower. I'll grab you some clean clothes that I'll make sure Dean doesn't touch."
Dean worked on calming his laughter. Sure, it had been a mean prank, but the look on Cas' face… Priceless!
Sam came back a few moments later with a bitchface, arms crossed over his chest. "Come on, man, I know we're all stir crazy, but you don't have to torture Cas."
"Stop being so protective," Dean said. "Cas can handle a little pranking here and there, he's a big boy."
Sam shook his head, but looked up as Cas reappeared in clean clothes, his brow still furrowed.
Sam cast Dean a look and the older man finally sighed. "Alright, fine. Cas, no hard feelings, right?"
The ex-angel just shook his head. "No, Dean, of course not."
Both Sam and Dean looked at him with a little surprise. Sam looked like he was going to say something but Dean shrugged. "Well, okay then. I guess I'm going to the store now."
He grabbed his jacket and headed out to the garage.
As soon as he was gone, Sam turned to Cas. "You know Dean's just a jerk and he means it all in good fun."
Cas smiled slightly as he bent to pick up Trouble who was rubbing against his legs. "I am aware of the custom of pranking. Humans aren't the only ones who do it. After all, Gabriel was my older brother."
Sam chuckled slightly, shrugging in acknowledgement.
"So," Cas said. "I believe retribution is part of it, correct?"
Sam grinned, seeing where the angel is going. "Typically, yeah."
Cas grinned back. "Then I think we have some planning to do."
Dean woke up the next morning and turned his alarm off before he rolled out of bed with a yawn. He rubbed his eyes and went to the shower room stripping out of his sleep clothes and stepping into the shower once the water got to be the right temperature. He sighed in contentment as he felt the hot water wash over him. He decided that today he was going to put in an extra effort to find a case, even if it was just something remotely weird. The only thing he was sure of was that he was not going to get roped into another day of filing. Yuck.
He thought he heard the door to the room open and frowned, hands in his sudsy hair. "Sam?" he called.
There was no answer though, so he shrugged it off and finished washing up.
He stepped out of the shower, reaching for a towel and coming away with just a washcloth. Dean cast around the room, looking for more towels and saw none. Okay, he was sure he had put one within reach…
He dried off as much as possible with the tiny washcloth and then glanced down at the spot his sleep clothes had been, figuring he could just throw his pajama pants on again, but…they weren't there.
"Son of a bitch," he growled, knowing now that Sam or Cas had come in here after all. Maybe one of them was on a laundry kick and had taken his clothes. And his clothes. And all the towels.
Dean huffed as he covered himself as much as he could with the washcloth and hurried from the shower room to his own room. He tossed the washcloth aside and went to his drawers.
But when he opened them he cursed again. What. The. Hell.
The only thing left in his drawers were the pair of cutoffs (the short ones) that he wore when he washed the car, and a pink t-shirt he had never seen before that had been cut into a crop top. Alright, if this is how they were gonna play it…
Dean put the shorts on, and grabbed the pink crop top before storming out of his room.
"Sam!" he cried. "This isn't funny! Where the hell are my clothes?"
Snickering could be heard from the library and he stormed in there, only to be met by a flash.
"Say cheese!" Sam grinned, holding up his phone to take another picture.
"Dude, what the hell? Stop taking pictures!" Dean snarled, lunging forward to wrestle with Sam for the phone. Another flash came from behind them and Dean spun around to see Cas holding up his own phone.
"Really, you too?"
Cas shrugged with a small smile. "At least it wasn't itching powder, Dean."
"You guys suck," Dean grunted, throwing the pink shirt at Sam. "Alright, I get it. I yield," he added, holding up his hands.
Sam and Cas shared a look. "What do you think?" Sam asked.
"Well, it was amusing, but…" Cas cast a look at Dean's outfit, or rather, lack thereof, making a face.
Sam cringed. "Yeah, we're gonna have to look at him dressed in that all day. I mean, that's more punishment for us."
"Oh, funny," Dean snorted, folding his arms self-consciously across his still damp bare chest.
"Okay," Cas gave in and motioned to a laundry basket set against the bookshelves. Dean went over to it and grabbed his clothes, heading back to his room to change.
Sam and Cas grinned at each other and laughed. "Phase one complete," Sam whispered.
Dean threw his pile of clothes on his bed and grabbed his jeans and a t-shirt and flannel. He combed his still wet hair into some semblance and then reached for his deodorant.
He knew something was wrong the instant it touched his armpit. It was cold and slimy.
"Ugh!" Dean cried and pulled it from under his shirt, inspecting the deodorant stick. It didn't look right, kind of yellow. He brought it to his nose.
"Butter? Seriously? Who does that?" he demanded and tugged his shirt off, wiping the greasy substance from his skin.
He stormed back out to the kitchen. "You guys know it's on you that I didn't put deodorant on today!"
"Don't worry, I got you a new one," Sam told him as Dean came into the kitchen and then motioned to a pastry box on the table. "Now that that's over, how about a doughnut?"
"Doughnuts?" Dean asked, eyeing the box skeptically.
Cas nodded and pushed the box over. "A peace offering."
Dean looked between them and then Trouble who was watching him with almost a smirk on his face.
He really should have listened to his better judgment and not taken a doughnut, but…doughnuts!
Dean sighed and sat at the table, picking up a cream-filled one. "Alright, well, thanks." He said and took a big bite.
He instantly spit it out, choking. "What the hell? Have these gone bad or something?"
Sam and Cas were laughing. Dean growled and threw the rest of the disgusting doughnut at his brother's head, which Sam dodged expertly. "That's disgusting!"
"Maybe you should try a jelly one instead," Cas said with such sincerity that, damn him, Dean actually picked one up and bit it.
Something salty filled his mouth and he got up and ran to the sink to spit. "Ugh! Ketchup? Really?"
"And mayonnaise," Cas added, nodding to the other discarded doughnut.
Dean growled at them and hurried to the fridge grabbing the orange juice and pouring a big glass. He'd already chugged a big mouthful of it before he was back at the sink spitting out the disgusting substance. "Oh my god, what is that?" he demanded, turning on the sink and rinsing his mouth out.
Sam and Cas were in stitches by now, the bastards. "It's the cheese powder from the box macaroni," Sam offered.
"That's disgusting!" Dean snapped, but all he got from them was continued laughter.
Finally, he grunted and shook his head. "Okay, okay, I get it. Warning accepted. Cas, I'm sorry I put itching powder in your clothes. I think we should all agree that a prank war between the three of us is a bad idea. But can we stop it right now before we end up burning the bunker down or something?"
Sam and Cas shared a look and shrugged. "I accept your apology, Dean," Cas said, still grinning. "Just don't forget it."
"Yeah, not likely to."
Sam's phone buzzed and he glanced at the screen. "Hey, looks like Jody found us a case."
"Thank god," Dean groaned. "Let's get out of here!"
"Also, she loves the new look, Dean."
"New look…?" Sam turned his phone around to show the text thread with the picture of Dean in the cutoffs, angrily waving the pink shirt. "You bastard!" Dean snarled.
"She wanted to know if you do parties."
"Screw you, bitch," Dean snapped and stormed off to his room to pack, reconsidering his truce already.
Once he was gone, Cas turned to Sam. "Should we tell him about how we distressed the seems in his pants?"
Sam hesitated, but grinned. "Nah, let's leave that for him to figure out himself."
Cas grinned in return and the two followed Dean out to the car.
I will have something posted next Friday whether it's another one shot or the start of another multi chap story depending on how much of my current project I can get done this week :)