Requester: Auj-Oule.

Prompt: Gaius and his cats.

Summary: There is one battle that Wingul will never win; it is the one against Gaius' love of cats.

Notes: Khan Baliq = Kanbalar


Cats were rare in Khan Baliq.

The harsh climate ensured that the little creatures did not survive long in the wild, and those who were domesticated rarely left the comfort of their homes.

Cats were rare in Khan Baliq.

There was little prey to hunt in the snowy streets of the capital, and even the thickest of fur could not completely protect from the icy winds of Lasylph.

Cats were rare in Khan Baliq.

Or so Wingul used to think.

The first time he found a cat in the castle, he assumed a stray had accidentally found a way inside, and he simply gave him some food and escorted it outside. The second time Gaius stopped him before he could release the animal through a back door. Apparently the feline was officially employed as a mice hunter. The third time he was ready to unceremoniously dump the wiggling fur ball into the nearest snow pile, but Agria had caught him and "rescued" the "poor little baby", calling him a heartless bastard. She had then used the incident to blackmail him, threatening to tell Gaius if he did not do her bindings for a full week. After that their numbers only kept increasing, and Wingul lost track and had to give up trying to keep records (it was not for a lack of trying, however). The little pests roamed the castle freely, shedding their fur everywhere and always finding themselves where they were not supposed to be. Some of them did accomplish their mission as rodent catchers, though in Wingul's opinion they were just replacing one furry problem with another.

Of course Gaius was delighted to have so many of them around him. And since he was the king, he could issue orders to leave the little critters alone. Wingul thought it was time to implement a legislation that would make it possible to overturn the king's decisions if they were judged unreasonable by his prime minister.

To make matter worse, they were extremely popular, not only within the Chimeriad (he once caught Agria and Presa cooing over a litter of little black devils, and that was a memory he was trying hard to erase from his mind), but also among the people of Khan Baliq. Gaius could now often be found holding audiences with a couple of cats on his laps, and it seemed like the people greatly appreciated this sight. He suspected that some were making up petitions to present to the king as an excuse to come and see him tending to his pets. There was probably a commercial idea to be found in the trend, but by that point Wingul was far too irritated to care.

They were facing a real invasion, one that for once in his life as a brilliant tactician, he was unable to stop.

The worst came one snowy night, when he had joined his king in his chambers in the hope of some fun time together.

Gaius was quick to undress himself, as he always was, and Wingul was about to remove his shirt when his eyes fell on the thing on the bed.

"Gaius," he called out urgently.

"Hmm?"

"There is a cat on your bed."

"Oh, yes, I know. He keeps me company when you're not there."

Slightly offended at the thought of being replaced by one of these little nightmares, Wingul spoke in a firm voice.

"It has to go."

"I suppose he can sleep on the carpet. I would not want to crush him if we move too much." Gaius crouched down on the bed's side and woke the cat up and started petting it affectionately. "Hey there, little one. I'm afraid we need you to move, Linlin."

"No, not the carpet either. I meant— ...Linlin?" His mouth slightly open, he could only look at Gaius in disbelief. The king looked up with a look that said 'I dare you to challenge me on that.'

"You named that wretched—I mean, that 'adorable kitty', Linlin?" The distaste was palpable in his voice. He closed his eyes and shook his head, trying to refocus. "Anyway, as I was saying, the carpet won't do either. I need it out of the room. I don't want it to watch us."

Gaius gave him a hurt look, hugging the animal close to his chest, a sight that made Wingul glare at the creature with a nasty look. It was one of the little black ones Presa and Agria were cooing over earlier. On closer look, it seemed to have a little yellow spot in the middle of his forehead. No wonder it was named after him, though Wingul found no comfort in this observation.

"But it's cold in the corridor! Have you no heart?" Gaius tried to appeal to him. "He's just a cat, he won't bother us."

"Yes, it's a cat, and much as I loathe to acknowledge it, cats are highly intelligent creatures. What if it tells Jiao what it sees here?"

"Now you are just making things up. Why would a kitty care about what we're doing in bed? Besides, it isn't as if Jiao doesn't know—"

"I would rather—" Wingul interrupted, his face reddening at the memory, "I would rather Jiao were not privy to the details of our intimate life. ...More than he already is, at least."

Gaius let out a small chuckle, and finally conceded. "All right, all right. Come, Linlin, tonight you are sleeping with Presa."

At his gesture, the kitten, as if as trained, jumped on his shoulder. Gaius stood up, careful not to make it lose its balance, and made his way to the door.

"Wait!" Wingul called back suddenly.

Gaius stopped and turned back to look at him with an inquisitive stare, the kitten still perched on his shoulder. Wingul resisted the urge to bang his head on the bed frame in frustration, and opted for hiding his face in his hands, letting out a long exasperated sigh.

"At least put some pants on before leaving the room."