Chapter 1: she gave her heart away, again

It only took three weeks for Lizzie to move on from Ronny Jacobs, and that was all Gordo needed to make his life miserable.

When the paperboy broke his best friend's heart, Gordo didn't understand how she quickly moved on to another guy, let alone in three weeks. When he had comforted her in the library after Ronny dumped her, he for sure thought she'd realize that he wanted to be her boyfriend and would treat her ten times better than Ronny. Gordo assumed she'd want to stay away from boys for a while and refrain from giving her heart up, but he was so wrong. Lizzie fell for the new student at Hillridge Junior High: Zack Carter. A guy he thought had the blandest name in the history of the universe.

The first time Gordo found out that Lizzie was into the new student, Zack, he didn't want to believe it first. He was still getting over what the jerk Ronny had done to his best friend's vulnerable heart. His other best friend, Miranda Sánchez, was the one to break the news at their lockers, the day Lizzie gave her heart to Zack Carter.

"You know that new guy?" Miranda mentioned to Gordo as he pulled a clunky, paperback textbook out of his locker. She adjusted the strap of her bookbag around her shoulder.

"Who?" Gordo buried his face in his locker, pretending not to know she was referring to Zack.

Miranda swayed on her heels, leaning forward. "You know, Zack Carter? Average height kid, with dark skin and dark, gorgeous wavy hair."

Gordo gripped the metal door, turning his knuckles white. He almost gagged, but he did like the mention of "average."

"Oh." Gordo brought his head out of his locker, furrowing his brows. " What about him?" Gordo said with puppy dog eyes. Miranda bit her lip and balanced back on her heels, trying to decide the best way to tell him what she had learned about Zack.

"Lizzie instantly had a crush on him the day he came to Hillridge, and today I saw them flirting," she told him.

Gordo's words got stuck in his throat. Miranda's announcement hit him like a punch to the gut. He immediately thought of what Ronny had done and how Lizzie might get hurt again. He gave his head some time to clear from the news before giving Miranda a reaction.

"So they're a thing now?" he asked her in a low, shaky voice as he hugged the textbook against his chest; it kept him from going insane. Waiting for Miranda to answer felt like waiting for lab test results to come back negative. He was hoping her answer would be the opposite of what he thought.

"They're not a thing officially, but it's pretty obvious Lizzie likes him, and Zack likes her," Miranda said. "They have a lot in common, you know."

Gordo shut his locker, and then he started walking beside Miranda down the hall to the last class they shared. Gordo had every single class with Miranda, while he only shared three out of seven with Lizzie. Which was a good thing because it'd be less time he'd have to see her gushing over Zack Carter.

"Like what?" Gordo asked.

"He loves animals, and his parents have a rescue shelter in town," Miranda explained. "That's why they moved to Hillridge."

"So?" Gordo looked at Miranda with his eyebrows scrunched heavily down his forehead as they walked. That word had come out more aggressive and annoyed than he wanted to show.

Miranda caught his expression but did not comment on it.

"You know how Lizzie always wants to give back to society and do good. She loved how Zack wanted to help animals, and I'm pretty sure that's what made her fall for him."

Gordo and Miranda's last class of the day was Spanish with Mrs. Cabrera. Gordo thought Miranda taking Spanish was such a cheat for her, but she always defended it by saying,

"My parents moved to California when they were young, so they learned English, and that was all they spoke to me."

Gordo and Miranda stopped by the classroom door to finish their conversation since the bell was due to ring in about two minutes.

"How far?" Gordo asked Miranda, his eyes soft and his face like he'd gotten a B minus on a test. Which for Gordo, you would have thought he witnessed a car running over a dog.

Miranda tilted her head to the side, but she smiled through her confusion. "How far what?"

Gordo squeezed the textbook tighter against his chest; he thought he might suffocate and Lizzie would have been too invested with Zack even to care that he might have died because of her. Gordo swallowed and clarified his question. "How far has she fallen?"

"For Zack?" asked Miranda. He only gave her a subtle nod.

Miranda shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I haven't talked to her about it much. I'm still bitter about that whole Ronny ordeal to ask her, but from my observations, I can tell she's feeling something that even she can't describe."

Gordo looked into the small rectangle window of the Spanish classroom's door. He saw Ethan Craft laughing with Kate Sanders.

"I see," he said as he stared into the window; it was the only words he could get out at the moment.

"Are you okay, Gordo?" Miranda studied his face and took a mental snapshot of it. Gordo jerked his head away from the window to meet the eyes of the only best friend who has yet to hurt him and probably never will.

"Yeah, of course, definitely, sure." Gordo blurted out the most definite sounding words he could think of to appear the most believable, but he cringed at how fake he sounded. Luckily, Miranda moved on from the subject.

"Whatever you say. Come on, let's go to class," Miranda said, opening the door. Gordo followed her, and he took his chair next to Parker Mackenzie. Miranda had her's at the back of the room, between Ethan and Kate. Gordo always felt sorry for her that she had to sit there, but Miranda always said she could suffer the pain of sitting next to Kate as long as Ethan Craft was there to distract her.

Gordo settled into his chair, putting his Spanish textbook and notebook on his desk. Then he twisted his back to look at Miranda, expecting to exchange glances, but for once, she had Ethan's full attention, having a legitimate conversation with him; a rare occurrence, but Gordo knew Miranda was savoring every second of it. Gordo stared at her, noticing confidence in her brown eyes and how easy words slipped out of her mouth, and he grinned; the only ounce of happiness he had all day and the only time Lizzie and Zack didn't cross his mind. Except after Spanish class, when things went downhill.

When Gordo and Miranda came out of the classroom, the first things his eyes saw were Lizzie and Zack talking at his locker. She had intrigued filled eyes and a smile that showed how comfortable she was around him. Gordo sighed heavily through his nose as he watched them, in pain.

"Gordo." Miranda whacked his shoulder lightly. "Dude, you're acting as if your grandma died. What's with you?"

Gordo shook his head quickly as if it would eliminate the sight in front of him. "Nothing," he said, eyes fixed dead on Lizzie and Zack. "Just didn't get enough sleep last night."

"Please don't do that again. You get so cranky," Miranda said, attempting to lighten her friend up.

Gordo gave her a genuine smile. "Noted," he joked with a salute. He took one last look at Lizzie and turned in the opposite direction. "Come on, let's walk home today."

"Hold on." Miranda stopped him. "Lizzie probably wants to walk with us."

"Never mind then," he muttered to himself.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing. I'll walk home by myself. You can wait for Lizzie." Gordo started walking away, but she stopped him again.

"Are you sure?"

"I'll be okay, don't worry." Gordo grinned with one corner of his mouth up, but inside he thought Miranda had figured him out.

"See you, Gordo," Miranda said casually.

"Hasta..." Gordo paused, searching for the rest of the words. "Whatever the phrase is in Spanish." He waved.

Miranda laughed. "Gordo, you take a Spanish class."

"Whatever. You know what I mean."

"Hasta Luego, Gordo," Miranda corrected with a smug grin.

"That's what it was." He snapped his finger. "See you soon." He, for once, put on a genuine smile.

Miranda shook her head, giggling before she walked off to find Lizzie. "Bye, Gordo," she mumbled between her smile.

Gordo collected his things from his locker before making the walk home. The truth was, he chose to walk home because he couldn't bear to sit with Lizzie on the bus ride or even look at her. The problem with walking home alone was how silent it became and how he could be intimate with his thoughts. His brain clouded with the idea of Lizzie and Zack. He went back to Ronny and how he thought maybe his crush on Lizzie could further after he cheered her up in the library. He thought she would open her eyes and see he'd been there all along. But maybe he was the one who needed to open his eyes and realize Lizzie never saw him the way he saw her.

When Gordo arrived at his house, he took his spare key from his pocket. Once he stepped inside, he felt the emptiness that always filled the home. Likewise, his parents weren't in the living room or the kitchen, or their bedroom. They were each in separate offices with their respective patients, being that they were both Shrinks.

The emptiness didn't faze Gordo anymore. Every day after school, he came home to an empty atmosphere even with a house as big and elegant as his. Gordo's parents often worked until six in the evening, leaving Gordo to fix himself dinner and spending the entire evening in his bedroom.

That particular day, his appetite wasn't in the mood for a full meal, so he brought a box of cheese crackers to snack on while he did homework in his room. He started with Spanish, which was a mistake because it was his worst subject. He thought about calling Miranda for help but knew she'd mention Zack and Lizzie, so he moved on to his better classes.

As he worked on biology, his phone rang in between reading the textbook from his favorite class. He sighed, hoping it wouldn't be Lizzie because if it was, he might say something he did not want to say aloud. Taking a chance, Gordo rolled in his desk chair across the carpet to his phone by his bed. He prepared to answer by taking a deep breath, making sure his emotions stayed inside.

"Hello," he spoke firmly.

"Gordo," he heard Miranda cry for help. "This biology homework is stressing me out! I can't do it!"

"Miranda, calm down." Gordo chuckled, picturing Miranda's face all scrunched up and steaming with frustration. His stress of thinking it was Lizzie went away. "Tell me exactly what you need help with."

"Everything!" Miranda complained loud enough to sting his ears. He pulled the phone back for a moment and chuckled.

"I can't help you if you're whining," Gordo teased her.

"Please just help me," Miranda pleaded.

"I don't know, and it'll be hard over the phone. You should come over, my parents are busy with their patients, and I'm so lonely."

"Is that normal for you?" she asked him with a hint of sadness.

"Yeah, they usually work until six, sometimes even eight. I swear it feels like my parents are more than just Shrinks. They're busy all the time."

"Well, I'll be glad to keep you company. Let me tell my parents, okay?"

"Sure. See you soon."

As soon as he pressed "end call," he tossed the phone lightly on his bed, bouncing it a few feet in the air. Gordo flopped on his bed, feeling like he just avoided an awkward breakdown if Miranda had mentioned Lizzie and her new fascination. He rubbed his face aggressively, then waited in silence for Miranda to come complaining about her biology homework while his eyes zoned out and started to blur.

The silence in the house and the time waiting for Miranda made Gordo fall asleep on his back, so he didn't hear Miranda's soft knocking on the door, but she opened the door anyway. She poked her head inside, and the sight of Gordo resting made her smile.

"Gordo," she called his name softly as she stepped into his room. His eyes opened, and he turned his head toward her. His eyes were tiny, and his face scrunched up in annoyance, so she spoke with caution.

"Who let you in the house? What are you doing here?" he asked, feeling like he woke up in the next century.

"You're mom did, and you were going to help me with my biology homework." Miranda lifted her textbook so that he would remember. Gordo rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands and sat up.

"Sorry, I fell asleep."

Miranda sat her biology book and binder on his desk. "So you really didn't get enough sleep last night?" she said as she opened the textbook to the current page.

Gordo scooted on the bed, dangling his feet off the edge. His eyes targeted the floor like lasers.

"I mean, you think I would lie to you?" He looked up at her; his blue eyes made contact with her dark brown ones.

Miranda shook her head. "You're sure not too tired to help me?" she asked.

"No, I'm fine." He sprung up and stood next to the desk, letting Miranda sit on his rolling chair.

As they worked on the assignment, Miranda mentioned the one thing he didn't want to talk about and what consumed his brain throughout the day.

"So Lizzie and I talked about Zack."

It took every bit of power for Gordo not to scream at Miranda to shut up. He gripped the edge of the desk to contain himself.

"Oh yeah? What did she say?" he asked casually, through his clenched jaw.

"She likes him a lot. She's gonna' help him with the animal rescue center every day after school, so we won't be seeing her much."

Gordo couldn't decide whether that was good or bad. Lizzie would be busy, so he wouldn't have to deal with the hurt when he saw her, but he'd also miss hanging out.

"Fantastic, I'll be even more lonely." He didn't care about the sarcasm that seeped out of his mouth.

"Lonely? Because Lizzie's helping out at an animal rescue center for a few hours after school?" Miranda cocked her head with a small smile, making Gordo sound silly.

"Remember Ronny and how he practically took over her life?" Gordo's voice grew loud, and he flapped his arms.

Miranda rolled her eyes. "Don't be so dramatic. Zack's different," she said. "And hello? you won't be lonely; I'll be here."

Miranda smiled at him, but even if he wanted to smile back, he couldn't. Gordo was afraid his emotions were showing. He could sense Miranda might have been able to read him, so he swore to keep shut, even if he had to duck tape his mouth.


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