Biker Mice from Mars

Slime Mold Song and Dance

The Hard Luck Trilogy

Pt 1

"Ahh Chicago." Limburger sighed as he smiled to himself. He rolled down the rear passenger window to his deep purple stretch limousine and took in the view as they drove down a street on the eastern outskirts of the city. It was block after block of For Sale Signs. Deserted and Dilapidated Buildings. Many of them little more than piles of rubble. Limburger's smile grew a little as he basks in his memories of the days when he could do his Plutarkian Job without Martian Interference.

Up ahead on the other side of the street was the still open and operating Brentwood Chemical Factory. It was just about dawn as the sun started to turn the eastern horizon red. The Factory was brightly lit up and it was filling the sky with fumes and smells. It was also putting a sickly multicolored coating on the nearby waters of the Great Lake Michigan.

The Smell of the Chemical Fumes plus the surrounding destruction, mixed with a heavy humidity being brought on by the Late Spring Weather and the smell of the polluted water being carried in on the breeze…why, it reminded him of his home planet Plutark.

He took another deep breath and sighed. It all reminded him of happier times. Times before a certain troublesome trio had brought his life to its current state of being a big stinking mess. But if he was lucky (ha ha) and all his careful planning and scheming paid off. All of that would change soon.

"Pull over and park the limo you moronic mutant." Limburger spat at his chauffer Fred the Masochist Mutant. Fred put a big smile on his warped face, he tipped his hat at Limburger and replied. "Sure, thing boss!" he then gave a maniacal giggle, slammed on the powerful brakes, spun the limo around and bounced it off the curb. In the process Fred bounced all over the front seat, enjoying every second of it. He never wore his seat belt.

Limburger pulled himself up off the limo floor and kicked open the door and pulled himself out. Growling and spitting and vowing to reconsider paying one of the Goons to be his chauffer, he straightened his suit and mask. Being Fiscally Conservative (aka Cheap) had its benefits but being driven around by that suicidal slug just to save a counterfeit dollar was starting to wear thin.

He stepped up onto the sidewalk and looked at his wristwatch. A sinister smile spread across his fat face. Right on time the sound of a group of powerful engines made the street rumble.

A dozen of Limburger's Goons in their heavily armed racers tore across the street and smashed thru the Chemical Plants Heavy Fenced Driveway. The Goons instantly started blasting away at everything insight! Explosions rocked the Plant! Scared and Confused Workers did everything they could to escape both the attackers and the danger of the chemicals escaping and causing untold amounts of damage!

Another heavy rumble filled the air. Greasepit in a large Plutarkian Sucking Machine chugged in thru the Plant's smashed gates! "Ok Yous Goons! Get doze Workers outta da way den start breaking open the Chemical Vats! "He yelled out via the Machines built in loudspeakers. "We gots some Juice to suck up!" He said with a stupid giggle.

The Goons did as they were told. Half kept to their vehicles and kept shooting up the place with their laser guns and missiles, while the other half ran up with hammers, and crowbars and started breaking pipes and vats open! Noxious gasses and fluids started to pour out all over the place!

Greasepit snarled and thru switches inside the Machines Cab. Large Hoses and tubes sprung out from the Machine and started to vacuum up all the chemicals! Greasepit drove the Machine up to a large chemical vat and used the large front sucker attachment to chew thru the vat and started to pull the dangerous substances into the machine's large storage container.

The damage the Goons had done was adding to the spilling chemicals. Large pools of noxious substances on the ground. Side vacuum tubes extended from the machine and drew those in too, but vapors were starting to build up. The Goons stopped to put on gas masks and continued to wreck the plant, not caring how dangerous their actions were.

Limburger couldn't help but chuckle to himself as he watched the Poisonous Cloud grow bigger, and bigger. Soon a morning breeze would carry it over Chicago. It would cause havoc in the city. Also, a fair bit of destruction. How horrible that would be Limburger chuckled at the evil thought.

Sadly, He knew that this was a dream that was most likely going to go up in Smoke. He looked down at his watch again. It was about time for another Very Predictable Occurrence to happen.

Right on time the area Rocked to a couple of new sounds. The sound of 3 Very Powerful engines and Very Loud Heavy Metal Music shook the whole area. A Look of Pure Hate crossed Limburger's Masked Face. "Curse those Courageous Crumb Chasers." He growled.

Rocking and Racing down the street the 3 Biker Mice, Throttle, Modo, and Vinnie singing along with the metal song, albeit changing the words and doing it very off key, they were still more then capable of taking in the situation. "Seal up those Helmets Bros, that is one Fatal Fume in the air!" Throttle said while he turned on his helmets space mode. Modo and Vinnie did the same.

"Whoa, that cloud is one pungent perfume, almost as Lethal as a Plutarkian Back blast!" Vinnie laughed at his own crude joke. "Nothing is as bad as that!" Modo added while making a face. "Time to Can the Comedy you Cornballs, we gotta do something to stop that cloud be fore it flows into Shy Town!" Throttle said interrupting them.

"I say the first step would be to start by Pounding Greasepit and the Goons into the Ground!" Growled Modo, his eye growing red as he revved himself up for battle. "Ha, ha sounds like Standard Operating Procedure to me. "Vinnie laughed. "You know it, Thunder and Sunder #7!" Throttle agreed while calling out the battle play.

Vinnie let out a Berserker Battle Cry and gunned his bike's engine!
"Battle for Breakfast, Best Way to Start the Day!" He laughed! "I think I will stick to Eggs, and Bacon." Modo smirked and revved up Lil' Hoss's engines too. "I would prefer to sleep till noon but let's get this over with and see if we can still make brunch." Joked Throttle and sped up to join his Bro's!

The Goons and Greasepit suddenly stopped in their destruction. Even over the racket they were making there was no mistaking the sound of what was coming. "Aw crud." Greasepit grumbled. He didn't get paid enough to deal with this. Good thing he had forgotten that he never gets paid anyway. "Get Ready You Goons, Its Time to earn some Overtime!" He yelled out over the loudspeakers! The Goons dropped their attack on the Plant and ran back to their battle buggies.

Only about 7 of the Goons made it. 5 of the buggies Exploded from the missiles and grenades thrown at them from the Biker's Bikes! The Goons on foot yelled and ran for what ever cover they could find!

"Hey Bros!" Vinnie Yelled. "Who ordered the Scrambled Battle Buggies?" He joked. "I prefer mine Over Easy!" Modo added then shot a tow line from Lil Hoss's rear launcher which snagged on one of the buggies rollbars! Modo gunned his rockets and took off, pulling the buggy off its wheels, hitting another, and flipping them over onto their tops! The 2 Goons jumping out and running before they exploded!

Throttle roared past a group of Goons driving to dive face first into the dirt, falling for Throttle's feint. He was heading directly for Greasepit in the Sucker Machine. "I am in the mood for the Full Greasy Spoon Special!" He yelled and hit the Big Machine with a laser gun barrage.

"Orff" yelped Greasepit as his big mishappen head bounced off the Sucker Machines Clear Canopy. "I'll get you ya miserable mousey!" He snorted and he opened fire with the Machines Big Laser Cannons! Pointed almost straight down, the ground around the machine erupted in explosions of dirt and flames! Throttle accelerated and sped around the machine in an ever-faster circle!

"Get me if you can Grease Man!' Throttle yelled out, teasing Greasepit. "Oh, I will get you but good Mousey!" Greasepit yelled back and sped up both his laser attack and the machines speed. The area around the Leader of the Biker Mice and the Plutarkian Machine disappeared in a cloud of spinning dust and chemicals!

"Now this is a breakfast!' Modo said as he and Vinnie finished up the Goons. All the buggies were now smoking heaps of junk and the last of the Goons were piled up in a garbage dumpster. Yeah, a nice big Stack of Goon Flapjacks!" Vinnie laughed as he spun his motorcycle around, hitting the dumpster with his rear wheel, sending the dumpster rolling out of the Chemical Plant driveway. They pulled up next to each other and high fived then looked over to see how Throttle was doing dealing with Greasepit. They had to laugh.

Greasepit was firing away with his laser cannon's as fast as he could. A mean smile crossed his big head and he slammed on the brakes and spun the machine in the other direction, hoping to hit the biker with a sneaky move, which he had to guess cause he had no idea where he was in all that dust and gas.

A Big Blast hit the ground, and a huge Fireball ignited a pocket of gas! The Big Machine rocked and out of the Fireball flew the Black Motorcycle. It had no rider!

"Yahoo!" Greasepit Cheered! "I did it, I vaporized that Vermin!" He stopped firing the laser cannons and did a little victory dance. He stopped when he heard a tapping noise. He looked up confusedly. Kneeling next to the machines canopy Throttle smiled and waved back at him with one hand and raised his glowing hand with the Nuke knuckles up in the air.

"Oh No." Groaned Greasepit. BAM! The Sucker Machine quaked as Throttle slammed his glowing fist into it. BAM went Greasepit's head as it hit the top of the Canopy! Grease Splattered all over the place! BAM went the Fist! BAM went Greasepit's Head! This happened a few more times until Greasepit's big hand hit the canopy release switch. The Canopy pulled back into the machine. Greasepit landed in the driver's seat. Little birdies and stars swirling around his sore head.

Throttle reached and looked down at Greasepit. "Bye." He smiled and pushed the seat's ejector button. "Gulp, bye bye." Greasepit sighed and waved. WHOOSH went the seats rockets as it and Greasepit when Flying up, thru the gas cloud and out somewhere over Lake Michigan. "WahHahooey!' yelled Greasepit as he splashed down!

"Gee do you think we will get in trouble for causing an oil spill in the lake?" Vinnie asked laughing. "Nah. Nobody will notice that little Drip." Modo told him.

Ignoring his bro's bad humor, Throttle jumped into the Sucker Machines Cockpit, He slipped on the grease and landed on his tail. Hoping Vinnie and Modo didn't see his landing, he reached up and grabbed the controls. He pushed all the machines big vacuums to full power!

"What is he doing?" Vinnie asked. "What he always does, saving the day." Modo said proudly. Sure enough, Throttle made the machine suck up all the escaped and spilled fluid and fumes. He activated the machines jets and rose to get the cloud above the plant too. Never leave a job unfinished as Modo's Grey Furred Momma would say, Throttle thought to himself.

Out on the street Limburger watched the dumpster full of moaning Goons roll by. He also watched Greasepit land in the lake. "Oh well, a very predictable outcome, but fortunately not an Unplanned for outcome." He said to himself. "Although one must not be amiss to take whatever opportunities one is afforded either." He finished with a nasty smile and took a small remote from a pocket. He pushed a button and the trunk of the limo popped open and up came an exceptionally large and very full Missile Launcher. He laughed Malevolently.

Back in the Chemical Plant's Work Yard, Throttle finished sucking up the last of the chemical cloud. He then landed the big machine and pushed a few more buttons. The large container on the back of the machine popped off and crashed to the ground. "There, all cleaned up and safely wrapped up for the Plant Emergency Crews to take care of." Throttle said while doing making a macho stance on top of the Big Machine's Driver's Cab.

Vinnie and Modo and Throttle's bike pulled up to look up at him. Vinnie crossed his arms and looked up at him. "Man, I am the one that should be doing the heroic stances, I recall it being put into my contract." Vinnie mock grumbled.

"Always check the fine print." Throttle smirked at him. Modo laughed at that. He then suddenly stopped, with a worried look on his face. "Uh, guys." He said. "I demand a renegotiation." Vinnie snapped back with a smile. "Uh, guys." Modo said. "Hey, I can't help it if I am just a better example of the True Heroic Taker of the Moment." Throttle said to push Vinnies buttons. Vinnie shook his head back and forth while he tried to think up a comeback to that. Throttle smiled down at him.

"GUYS!" Modo yelled. They both looked at him. "Am I the only one that heard the launch of what sounded like about a dozen missiles and that they seem to be heading this way?!" Throttle and Vinnie looked at each other, then at Modo who had That Look on his Face, then all 3 looked up. Yep, there were about 12 missiles climbing high into the sky and were just hitting their apogee where they turned to shoot towards the ground. "AAAAHHH!" All three of the yelled. Somehow an evil laugh could be heard as well coming from somewhere nearby.

"What do we do, what do we do?!" Stammered Modo. Vinnie looked like he couldn't decide to be scared crapless or ecstatic. They both looked at Throttle. He looked quickly down at them and up at the missiles a few times. "Uh, um, Shoot them DOWN!" Throttle yelled. Modo, Vinnie, turned their bikes skyward and opened fire with all they had. Throttle's bike joined in as well. Throttle grabbed the Sucker Machine's controls and he aimed its large cannons upward and fired too! That is when they learned that the Missiles were shielded.

"This isn't working." Vinnie said calmly and with a smile. Modo just grunted and opened fire with his arm cannon too. Thinking as fast as he could Throttle activated the Suckers Jet Engines and aimed it straight up. He then jumped down onto his bike. "RUN!" He yelled! They did. The Sucker shot up into the sky straight toward the down coming missiles. They impacted just about a hundred feet above them.

The Sky filled with a Massive Explosion! The Fireball lit up the Chicago area like 2 sunrises! The Sound boom rattled windows all over Chicago! The Fireball expanded upwards and downwards! The Battleground was engulfed in the Flames! Out of it shot 3 shapes! The Mice came to a screeching and smoking halt across the street from the plant.

"Ow,ow,ow,owch!" cried Modo and Vinnie as they both reached back and grabbed the flaming tips of their tails and started blowing them out. Throttle looked back at his tail, which had a nice coating of grease on it, which spared him from this.

"Ahh, why does this never happen to you!" Vinnie whined as he continued to blow on his smoking tail. "Blessed are the Virtuous Vin-man, Blessed!" Throttle said with a smile. Vinnie kept blowing and tried really hard to come up with a good comeback. Modo just rolled his eye and sucked on his own burnt tail. Throttle laughed out loud.

Racing away in his limo, Limburger once more cursed his continuing fate of Failure! "Faster you little drip, or I swear I will replace your bed of nails with the softest mattress I can find!" He yelled at Fred. Fred looked shocked at this and did his best to not to crash the limo. He looked in the rearview mirror, and a smile crossed his little face. Looks like it wasn't his call to make. Limburger noticed this and then spotted the 3 headlights racing up behind them. "Oh dear." He said.

He barely managed to turn on the limo's force field before the lasers bounced off them. "Ah Man, he put a field on that thing too!?" Vinnie snapped! He hated to see a good sneak attack not work. "So how do we handle this one?" Modo asked hoping for something good. "Hockey Puck Chuck 2." Throttle Said with a slow smile. Modo got his wish. Vinnie laughed out loud and shot forward to take his part in the play.

"Faster, you stupid snot-ball, faster!" Limburger yelled as the Mice easily caught up and took positions around the speeding limo. A zapping could be heard coming from the force field next to the window he was sitting next too. He looked up to see Modo tapping against the energy field with his cyborg arm's fingers, energy sparking against them when he tapped. He was giving the Plutarkian his best Evil Smile! His one eye glowing a bright red really helped. Limburger stared back at him. Modo continued to smile back at him. This back and forth continued for a few seconds. Modo made a "roll down the window" hand motion. Limburger rolled down the window. Modo looked at him and said. "Hi!". "Um, Hello?" Limburger said weakly. "I'm the Distraction." Modo said with his best Evil Smile of them all! It took a full second for this to sink in.

Limburger spun around and looked forward out the windshield. About a block ahead of them, Vinnie was waving back, just as he fired a couple of land shark torpedoes at the limo. They dug into the street and their fins could be seen cutting their way towards the limo! He could hear Vinnie's maniacal laughter over them. The Sharks popped up thru the street and bit into the limo's tires (which were not in the force field because they still needed to be in contact with the road to move the limo). The Limos Slammed to a complete stop, causing both Fred and Limburger to slam to a complete stop! The Rear of the limo bounced up, giving Throttle his opportunity. His Nuke Knucks glowing at full power, he hit the rear force field as hard as he could.

WHAM! The Limo shot up in the air! It bounced off a broken building, it's force field the only thing keeping it and its occupants in one piece! The limo shot off to splash land a few miles offshore and into Lake Michigan. Limburger's cry of NOOOOOO could be heard all the way until the splash. "TOTALLY CHUCKED!" All three of the Mice cheered!

The Bro's turned and headed for Chicago. "So, think we will get in trouble for dumping That in the lake?" Vinnie asked. "I won't tell if you won't." Modo said. "You want to go dip your tail in the lake Vin-man?" Throttle said with a chuckle. "Not Funny Dude!" He barked at him. Throttle chuckled which just annoyed Vinnie even more.

"Well, it's that time again Bros." Modo said with a tired sigh. "Time for what?" Vinnie asked, his train of thought still trying to come up with a good comeback for Throttle. Throttle took in a deep breath when it broke to him. "You know, Your EXCUSES for Charley." Modo sighed again. "Oh Crap!" Vinnie snapped. He just remembered too. "Come on guys, this has been going on for nearly 3 weeks." Modo said with a hint of impatience and sadness in his voice. "That is what makes it so hard!" Vinnie whined! "I have already used up all the best ones!" Modo had to agree with that. The excuses from the last few days had been pretty lame.

"I am going to go with I have to go help Vinnie soak his poor little burned tail." Throttle said barely holding his laughter in. He was enjoying this. "Will you lay off it!?" Vinnie snapped. "Fine, I will just tell her you are busy, again." Modo said and turned off on a side street and took off. "Do you think we are hurting his feelings? "Vinnie asked with what appeared to be actual sensitivity. Throttle noticed this and thought that he should do something to encourage it, but he couldn't help himself. "Gee, I didn't think you getting your tail burned would open up your sensitive side like this." He smirked. Vinnie bit into his lip. He really needed to work on his comebacks. Throttle his smiling wavered a little as some guilt built up in him. He hated to upset Modo, but both he and Vinnie had reasons for making excuses. Well one reason really, and that reason was still inhabiting Modo's destination. The Last Chance Garage.

As the trio broke up into two groups. Vinnie and Throttle gave the lone Modo a backwards glance as they watched him speed away. Neither of them noticing the odd activity beneath their wheels. The manhole covers behind them all rattling and bouncing slightly as something seemed to be pushing them from underneath. Nor did they notice the small traces of a nasty green ooze bubbling up onto the street where it sizzled and smoked on the street.

Out on the lake, just a few feet under the water, Limburger was enjoying a rare moment of being thankful of his Plutarkian Ancestry. In other words, he was happy he was a fish. Fred was also grateful that Dr Karbunkle had given him a set of gills to. It hurt to breath thru them. It was great! Limburger smiled sinisterly. Yes, his plan was coming along just swimmingly! "To My New Limburger Tower My Dear Despicable Degenerate." Limburger said to Fred, who activated the Limo's new submarine features. Off they took. Limburger was in such a good mood; he was almost tempted to stop and pick up that Good for Nothing Greasepit but thought better of it. It would be hard enough to dry the Limo out without having to deal with grease stains as well.

"Distraction, indeed. I will teach those fools what a real distraction is." Limburger laughed to himself as they moved silently under the dark waters.

To Be Continued.